I Think He!! Froze Over

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Hound dog, Aug 13, 2011.

  1. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Katie messaged me that, and I quote, "I put my foot up M's *** and told him he goes gets help for his issue or get outta my house for good." She said she was surprised he agreed to help and according to her his first psychiatrist appointment was this morning.

    If that is so, then he's not usuing county mental health as they haven't had a psychiatrist in more than a year, plus there is an entrance process you have to go through that requires 3 therapist visits to see if you need to see the psychiatrist. After that is finished it can take another 3 months to finally see the psychiatrist (when they have one) because it's so over booked.

    Alternatives? My psychiatrist is the only other one in town. He does income sliding scale billing and will accept welfare insurance. The guy is really good. IF M went to see him today........oh man to be a fly on the wall at that session. lol psychiatrist would have his number in less than 10 mins.

    I had to read this mail 3 times. I don't know what brought this on as she didn't say. But if living with it all these years never bothered her it makes me curious as to what suddenly changed her mind. I doubt her socializing with us was enough to do it. Nor do we ever comment about the man. I've reached the point where I like to pretend he doesn't exist. Ok well, there are those times when I'm given no choice but to say something about him but that is like once every so many months, not like we're talking about him all the time.

    Last time she was here she told me that they make it a point to NOT socialize with their neighbors. She wants to avoid drama. ummm ok. While there are some difficult child drama types there, there are also plenty of decent people there like Nichole's bff and her husband. HA! I'd actually like those two to meet up. Nance was born with spina bifida and a whole slew of birth defects, and still works her fanny off when actually she'd qualify for disability. Katie would pull one of her whine sessions and Nance would let it rip! lol

    But if they're not socializing I'm going to assume that issues with neighbors is probably not the source of katie's sudden change of attitude.

    Regardless, IF he went (he told her he did, doesn't mean he did) and IF he continues to go it ought to be interesting. M is severely mentally disturbed. I'm not going to kick anyone willing to go get help. But I think this is just to pacify her. Unless she goes with him, she has no way of knowing if he's even going.

    Not sure what's up with this but it's an interesting development.
  2. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Very interesting indeed. I'm curious to see what develops. Hope it's true...for Katie's and the kids' sake.
  3. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Maybe you ought to offer to give him a lift a time or two...lol. I dont think I could resist!
  4. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Wow... I hope it IS true. because it will show Katie's learning...
  5. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    Wow a psychiatrist open on a Saturday?
  6. keista

    keista New Member

    Maybe she's maturing (yeah, late bloomer, but better late than never) I'm just guessing that she was "in love" with M, and therefore always stood by him and defended him. The kids are getting older, an maybe she's feedback from them and realizing she should make a change.

    Whatever the reason, don't press her for an explanation, but make her aware of all the ways that M *may* be deceiving her about treatment just to placate her.
  7. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    My psychiatrist has sat hours due to high demand. He does it in the mornings and then makes his rounds at the hospital. He takes off one day during the week instead of the whole weekend so that patients who work can still get in to see him. He also has 2 nights a week when he's open late.

    Otherwise.......no, I'd have called her on the saturday deal as county mental health is NEVER open on a saturday.
  8. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Fingers crossed. DDD
  9. 1905

    1905 Well-Known Member

    I wonder if Katie herself would be interested in getting help. Maybe a p-doctor would help her see how much better off they would all be without him.
  10. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    HD, my next thought after Sat hours sound like a wonderful thing is "(Bleep)! He might live now." You as well?
  11. donna723

    donna723 Well-Known Member

    I hope he's serious too but somehow it just all sounds "too easy". He's so agreeable and cooperative about getting help and then miraculously gets right in despite a huge caseload? It does sound like Katie is finally wising up but if I were her, I sure wouldn't take his word for it! He's a slick one.

    And I admit to being a little disappointed too! I was kind of assuming that he would continue on his self-destructive path until he finally just withered away and disappear and they would be free of him! And I'm not even ashamed of myself for thinking that!
  12. dashcat

    dashcat Member

    I did feel a bit of a chill here in NE Ohio....

    Good for Katie.

  13. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Upallnight I've been attempting to carefully ease katie into the idea she could use some help, that getting help is not the end of the world. It's not easy. The girl is terrified of the whole idea. Which also surprises me with the M deal. But that could easily be a case of "it doesn't apply to other people, just me".

    HaoZi I dunno about the living part. You'd have to see him to believe how emaciated the man is health wise. As for mental health wise........the man is so far gone I doubt a psychiatrist is going to be able to help him. I think he turned that corner at least 20 yrs ago.

    I think he's most likely scamming her in order to get to stay there, especially if he's walking to the psychiatrist, which IS walking distance from them. This is best case scenario, worst case is something is up.....and they're going to try to pull a fast one on me. Totally stinks that I still have to think in that direction to keep my guard up. But if blowing money got them into a bind as far as rent, and katie could easily be lying to me that she's kept the bills paid, this could be a *see he's trying to get better* now we're homeless (shelter won't take them anywhere in the state) and can we come live with you deal. In which the answer would be NO, regardless, but she doesn't know that.

    With these two my guard always has to be up and I always have to look for the dark side. Katie appears to be trying to get better, but that could be just appearances too, and she backslides if we don't keep pulling her out of that apt and keep her socializing with us. Old habits die hard. And these two have been looking for a free ride from the get go.

    She has yet shopped with us once she got her food stamps, she kept turning us down. I'm going to try again this coming week as easy child and I are hitting aldi's and sams club along with normal stores. Just by watching what she buys I can tell how much food stamps she has left. (make a good guess anyway)

    She states she's been filling out online apps for jobs. Heaven forbid the girl walk to a store and fill out an app. I'm sure the apartment manager is hounding them about working. You have to be working to live there, or be able to prove you're actively looking for work. Alex's disability, while it keeps their rent paid, doesn't count against that.

    And I went back and read that mail again...........and she mentions that if M get's diagnosed with a learning disability maybe he can get disability too. *slaps forehead* Good luck kiddo. Travis qualifies ONLY because of the combination of dxes he has and the being blind was the topper that put him over. M's only learning disability I can see is he is lazy to the nth degree. She excuses his inability to read as dyslexia.....uh, no. Nichole has the most severe form there is. And while it can be a challenge to her, she reads and writes just fine........and she had NO help for the dyslexia. Not an excuse. And while M might not be able to read well, the man can read just fine.

    But.......with the way these two get services.......who knows. :sigh:
  14. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    LOL Donna.

    Like I said, I think this is a total scam. M doesn't want help, he doesn't believe for a minute anything is wrong with him, it's everyone else that has the problem.

    And I will inform katie that unless she sees a receipt from the psychiatrist (I know darn well he gives them) or she goes along with him, not to take him at his word.

    As far as getting right in, my doctor is pretty awesome about that. I called for an appointment the first time and he had me in his office the next day. And he's not one of those here let me write you a script type of psychiatrists either........he's the ol' fashioned kind that does the let's talk for a hour every appointment and get to the real issues. Know what I mean??

    Office staff is fantastic about scheduling and keeping "emergency" appts open.
  15. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Ok. Hmm. Evidently County mental health is open on sat.

    He told her that he took all these tests and he felt terrible because he couldn't fill it out by himself. She has the impression these are for disabilities, which I corrected immediately. Been through that admission process too many times. Those are just basic questions to give the tdocs and psychiatrists an idea of what is going on and if there is a possibility of mental disorders. sheesh He has to do the see them 3 times thing. Miss one appointment and you start all over again. Made sure I told her that. Also asked since when is county mental health open on sat.......when I know their intake appts are on mondays and wednesdays. hmmm She said the counselor thinks he has a mood disorder...........uh.....yeah, he's got a lot MORE going on than a mere mood disorder. lol

    I did tell her to be smart and ask for receipts and something that tells her when the next appointment is so he can't pull a fast one on her. But it sounds like he already has. They do NOT to intake evaluations on sat, ONLY on monday and wednesday AND only once a month at that. So it's already sounding like one big scam job.
  16. 1905

    1905 Well-Known Member

    Do you think he's scamming her and then she passes this info to you, or is she the one bs-ing you? Of course, he would most likely be in on that as well. One look and they would see he is seriously ill. From something.
  17. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Sorry, I just don't believe a word about this. Not that she put her foot down, not that he agreed to go, not that she will kick him out. More likely Kayla let something slip to someone and they got word that CPS might be interested and this is a way to scam you into thinking he is getting "help" so if you are asked you will say how he is doing so well now that he is getting help. No way did he get into county mental health anywhere in OH in less than a few months. No way.

    Most likely this is to scam you into thinking that their money went to buy medications for M so could you "loan" them money for groceries or whatever. I don't even think Kayla let something slip. I just think it is a scam.

    But you might call county mental health tomorrow and say how glad you are to hear that they now do intakes on Saturday and when is the next open Sat appointment. I would then tell Katie that she is being scammed because they do not have intake on Sat.

    Keep pulling her out of there to do stuff with you. Find out what day they get foodstamps and take her out that week if you can. Otherwise even the babyssteps will stop. She sure never seems to stop trying to lie. It is going to take a lot of work to get her to realize that the lies won't work.

    As for dyslexia, there truly are those with severe dyslexia who cannot read with-o incredibly intense intervention. not sure what type Nichole has, but i have known many people who were very hard workers and tried and tried and simply could not read until they got the right diagnosis and interventions and help. And even then they were only marginally successful. So it may be that he is dyslexic, but it would NOT be the reason for his problems. Not not not.
  18. donna723

    donna723 Well-Known Member

    Well, I don't buy it that he can't read either! He may not be able to read as well as the rest of us, but anyone who can use a computer as well as he does has to be able to read at least enough to get by. I think that's another "poor little me" routine.

    Is this supposedly a psychiatrist he's going to be seeing? If that's a county mental health agency, I don't believe that either! I've never heard of a county mental health department where you could just waltz right in and be seen immediately by a psychiatrist! My son waited over a month just to get an appointment with a 'counselor', whatever that is! And if he did see a psychiatrist, this psychiatrist also being a doctor, seems like they would have to say something or make some kind of inquiries about his appalling physical condition! If it's drugs that account for his wasted physical condition, that would be a very severe problem and just going in and talking to someone every couple of weeks isn't going to do much for someone with that bad of a problem. I don't know whether it's just him or the both of them that are trying to scam you but somebody is! This just doesn't sound right!
  19. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    I already told her I know county mental health is no open on sat.

    And I'm assuming they're attempting to scam me for whatever reason until proven otherwise. That's just how I have to handle it with them.

    I didn't think of the cps angle but that's a possibly, I suppose.

    If she thinks even remotely that I'd ever defend the man to anyone, she's living in an alternate reality. God help him anyone come to my door asking questions cuz I'll give them an earful and a half and photo evidence to boot.

    Guess I'll evidently find out what's up. But yeah, it could be she's the one doing the scamming, she's as prone to lying as opening her mouth. I always have to take what she says with a grain of salt.
  20. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Um, I think you need a salt truck, not a grain. they sure never stop trying to find a lie that works. Isn't it a lot harder to think up all those lies than it is to tell the truth? I will never understand that.