I'm going to break my daughter's heart


Well-Known Member
I'm at the end of my rope with Duckie's difficult child cat. We had a major problem with her peeing inappropriately after being quite ill about 1.5 years ago. She's not ill but the peeing is back. She has, in the last month, peed in husband's suitcase (which was packed for a business trip), peed on an upholstered chair, and this morning she peed in the cat bed. There have been other instances that we credited to our sick kitty, but now I'm not so sure. I keep the litter very, very clean (one box on each level of the house). It's obviously a behavior issue with this kitty that is ingrained. I can't live like this. :sad: I told Duckie I was going to have to her kitty go somewhere else if it happens again. She cried. :sad: It will happen again. I'm just so sad.


Before giving up on the kitty, you may want to take her to the vet and have her checked for a urinary tract infection. Cats don't associate pain with peeing, they associate it with where they are peeing which would explain her peeing in various spots. Normally, though not always, if they are going to pee outside of the litterbox, it's in the same spot - not all over the place.

I'm sorry for you and Duckie. I'm an animal lover and have rescued many, but cat urine is a smell you can't get rid of and I've gotten rid of a cat before for this same reason. It's never easy.


member since 1999
Oh TM - I'm sorry. We had a similar situation years ago with- Furball. Not sure what precipitated it, she was a young healthy (fixed) cat, but... I finally had to have husband take her to the Humane Society. I like to imagine she ended up on a farm somewhere.

Have you talked with- the vet? Wonder if there's something that can be done to retrain her? Elsie went through a stage a couple of years ago of sneaking into the laundry room and peeing on clean unfolded laundry... talk about unpleasant surprises, LOL. We got her retrained by making doggone sure she couldn't get in there but it took a while.


Active Member
I had a cat that did that once. Well actually he just squatted. Nothing came out. But I took him to the vet and he did have a urinary blockage. Maybe your cat does have a health issue.

I had another cat when the boys were babies. He definitely had a mental problem. He got very jealous over the boys. He started pooping in the boys beds. So I started closing their doors, and he pooped in my bed!!! Yikes. we didn't have a door on our bedroom at the time so I knew I had to do something. I ended up giving him to the humane society. I cried all the way home, but I knew I wasn't going to change bed linens everyday for my cat.

Sorry. Hopefully he has a medical problem that can be fixed.

Hound dog

Nana's are Beautiful

Heartbreaking for sure. :sad: Poor Duckie. It's so much worse when their young and can't really understand the reason why.

Our basset Precious recently went to her new home. It broke my heart. But I didn't have much choice. After her surgery to be fixed she had adhesions which made her holding her bowel and bladder difficult. I endured patiently for 9 months for the problem to resolve itself. Precious tried, she just couldn't hold it but a few seconds after her bark to go out.
With the other dogs, school, and most especially the baby who is just now crawling around on the carpet I just couldn't hold out any longer. I found Precious a loving home with a family who could meet her special needs and who really wanted her despite the problem and her other basset habits.

Just had an email update on her the other day. She's doing wonderfully in her new home. The family adores her, and she just loves playing with their kids.

Hopefully you'll find an equally good solution for your kitty. If Duckie is anything like N, she's taking it hard. Give her a big hug from me.



Active Member
ditto what wintersgrace said.

I had a cat that did that for a while. Once we got her fixed, she stopped doing it. You have to be very diligent about cleaning it and getting it all out, because she will return to the same places.

I sure hope this works out and you don't have to get rid of poor kitty.


Well-Known Member
I have a feeling she needs to be an "only kitty" to do well. The vet suggested that last time. She's been active and part of the household (not withdrawn), we have her on a strict diet. There's really nothing more to be done.


That was exactly the problem with the kitty I had to get rid of. We had 5 cats (I'm a sucker) and this little kitty was so sweet, but just couldn't handle being around the other cats - especially after we had to put down the kitty she came with when he went blind and he was already deaf. She was so dependent on him - she used to actually sleep on top of him.

Anyway, She wasn't really peeing...she was marking. The vet suggested these "things" (can't remember what they are called) that you plug in and it gives off some kind of smell (we can't smell it) that is calming for the cat. Like phermones or something, and it is supposed to keep them from feeling the need to mark. Thing is, they aren't terribly cheap. 4 years ago they were around $35 and you have to replace them every 30 days or so.

Just a thought.


New Member
Aww, TM, so sorry hon :sad:

I was thinking maybe Urinary Tract Infection (UTI) or fixing too, but you seem to think no? Just a thought.

I have no advice, my friend. I understand why you would want to move kitty out though. That's alot for you to have to handle, and I know for me, I wouldn't put up with a cat peeing all over the house.



timer lady

Queen of Hearts

I'm sorry to hear this. We had a one eyed cat (Chloe) who just would not use the litter box. This was back in the days when we had no children & extra income. (You know, DINKS)

We spent hours & dollars trying to correct this behavior. Finally, we had to take this kitty to the shelter. I had heard that she had been taken in & thrived in a home with one person & no other pets.

kt & wm struggled when they displayed less than safe behaviors with our cat Annie, however for Annie's safety we arranged for her to live elsewhere (a friend of mine).

kt & wm survived. They cried. Annie did well & lived to a ripe old age. And we all moved forward.

This is the ebb & flow of life. I hope duckie isn't too heart broken.

Sue C

Active Member
We had a cat when we first got married that decided to mark his territory on one certain brand new chair of ours. We got rid of the chair and he didn't mark anywhere else. Strange.

I agree with the others on first taking your cat to the vet to see if it does have an infection.



I'm sorry but have no suggestions.

I have a dog who sometimes doesn't make it out the door anymore but it is clearly not a behavior problem--if I can get her out fast enough, no problem, and she does "ask" to go out. Also she is not peeing, she's pooping which with her controlled diet--is really easy to clean up. Not a bit like cat urine which is a terrible problem, I know.

Sympathy to you and Duckie



New Member
Sometimes this will happen when you use plastic litter boxes. Even though you clean them and wash them the smell stayes in and the cat will refuse to use it. They should be replaced from time to time. If this doesn't fix the problem, your cat is either sick, angry or marking. Marking usually starts around six months of age. It is more apt to happen in males than females but females will do it also. Observe her stance when she is doing this. Is she squatting as she would normally? Then it isn't likely it is a marking issue. If she is standing with her tail up and twittering (sort of like a squirrel), it is marking behavior. The pheremones are effective for this. You clean the site with a good oder elimanating solution (available at vet's) and then let it dry. When dry you follow with the pheremone spray (also available at your vet) This will turn the marking place into a face rubbing spot. god luck! -RM
:sad: TM, I'm so sorry you have to go through this. We had an elderly cat we loved very much and had to "send her to cat heaven" a little over a year ago. She peed everywhere too. I had her checked for medical problems. Our vet said that medically she was fine. She seemed to be getting a bit of dementia.

We came home from eating out one night to puddles all over the house. That was the last straw. I called our vet and made an appointment to have her "put to sleep."

She had been my daughter's constant companion - she slept with her, woke her up for school, followed her everywhere, etc... My daughter took it very hard. However, she understood why we had to do it.

I bought a large photo frame and my daughter and I put in lots of pictures of our kitty. My daughter also wrote a poem and we put that in the frame also. Saying goodbye was very difficult for us.

My daughter was older than duckie though. However, she lost another kitty to cancer a month before her seventh birthday. A friend of mine bought my daughter a kit to make a book. She wrote a story and illustrated it about our cat. I sent it to an address inside the kit. I think it was about three weeks later when her bound book arrived in the mail. She was so happy!

We also put lots of our cat's pictures into a frame. I put a favorite picture into a special frame which my daughter still keeps on her nightstand to this day...

I know this is so difficult for you :sad:!!! Please don't be too hard on yourself. No one can live with cat pee for too long!!! Duckie will be ok. Life is full of unhappy moments and we can't isolate our kids from them forever... In order for our kids to grow, I think they need to experience the sad times as well as the happy times.

There are a couple of products that help to remove the smell so other pets won't pee in the same spots. I'm not sure I can mention the names of them here. If you're interested, and it's ok to name the products, let me know. Or, I can send you a private email. Thinking of you and Duckie... Hugs, WFEN


Active Member
Why not make him an outdoor cat until the problem is resolved? We have cat runs, like really large cages, that the cats can live in so they won't hunt. You can put lots of cat toys in there and this way they're outdoors safely. Depending on your indoor space, you can put these in large rooms as well, especially if it's an easy floor to clean (like tiles).

We were cat-sitting once, the cat would 'go' in the empty bathtub. Our first clue was hearing the 'scritch, scritch' as she tried to bury her 'product' in the porcelain.

Have you seen those special toilet seats that you can use to train a cat to use the toilet? We've got them in Australia, do you have them in the US? I know of people who have successfully toilet-trained their cats.