I'm sending difficult child to the VP office!

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Andy, Mar 2, 2011.

  1. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    difficult child has gym every other day. Monday night he comes home and tells me that he heard rumors that a certain kid urinated all over the locker room that day after he had left it. difficult child did not witness it but when something like that happens the rumor mill works overtime. Ugh! And I let it go figuring someone directly involved would have taken care of it. Not my place to follow up on rumors.

    Today I get a text from difficult child after gym stating that he needs a new gym shirt. He opened his locker and his shirt was wet smelling like pee. Icky!!! He told his gym teacher about it who gave him a, "Well, what am I suppose to do about it?" attitude. So difficult child threw his shirt away and used one the school has as a spare. I so wish he would have contacted me at the time, not afterwards when he was at lunch a few hours later. Now that he threw away the evidence!

    I told him to bring everything that was left home so I can check the other stuff out and wash his shorts. He said nothing else was wet - that the shirt was on top. I also told him that I would send something for him to wash out his locker the next day he has gym. Then the more I thought about it, I figured if it was from a kid peeing that the custodians should give it a good work over with santizer (stuff I shouldn't be sending to school with difficult child). So, I called the school to talk with the phy-ed teacher. For all I know he is dealing with the clean up and just didn't let on to the kids?

    It was about 4:00 when I called not knowing if anyone would still be there. I explained to the person who answered why I was calling and she said that I needed to take the issue to the VP. All I wanted was to make sure difficult child's locker was sanitized!

    So, I spoke with the VP. I told him that what we think happened, that I wasn't looking to get anyone in trouble, just a clean up if that is in fact the cause for the wet stinky shirt. Each locker is locked so no one should have been able to actually get in. There are holes in the locker doors (vents) and I don't think difficult child would be able to properly clean those if I had gone through with the plan to just have him wash it out. difficult child and I do not feel that he was the target, just that his locker was in the wrong place at the wrong time if this is what caused his shirt to be wet (and being wet after two days).

    He says he will not ask the guys with lockers next to him if they had wet stuff. Hopefully that will be part of the VP's investigation.

    Let's hope that it wasn't urination through the vent holes. We don't know how his shirt was so wet. I am at a loss to what really happened.

    So, I am sending difficult child to VP's office. VP said he wanted to talk with difficult child to find out more details and the kid's name that was rumored to have publically urinated around the locker room. I emphasized to difficult child to make sure VP knows that he did not witness it, that rumors did not include direct hits to the lockers, and that he does not feel it was a personal attack.

    I so hate locker rooms! Icky icky icky! I can't imagine with those kids that did witness it, that someone wouldn't have reported it. But then again, boys don't see the germ factor - just the "some kid being stupid" behavior so unless he actually made someone say "Ouch", none of that age kid would see a need to report it. It is just a joke to them.

    And who knows, maybe the kid has already been dealt with - school discipline is not always publically known.
  2. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I am sorry that this issue even came up. I have always wondered why locker rooms are so unsupervised. I wondered it as a kid and I wonder it now. SO much bullying and awful behavior happens in the locker room by students and even by adults sometimes. I HATED going into the locker room in jr high. I only ever had 1 class for 1 semester that made me go into a locker room and it was a nasty experience. Not just the teasing and comparing one kid's body to anothers, there was outright abuse going on. Of course our male gym teacher LOVED to wander in unannounced and got fired for it two weeks after my semester of gym ended. He made really awful remarks to some of us if our bodies were not as "developed" as other girls' were. THen there were his comments if you WERE developed that were awful, etc...

    I have heard a ton of stories about guys peeing all over lockers and other people's stuff. gross gross gross YUCK! I have even been appalled years later to hear former high school jocks describe how "fun" it was to pee through the holes in a locker, or in a guy's water bottle or on a guy in the shower while he rinsed his hair with his eyes shut, even in other kids' lunches. Part of it is marking their territory in the stupidest way possible - seems to be almost a rite of passage for some athletic groups - but msot of it is just plain lack of sense and abuse.

    Calling school and talking to the VP was exactly the right thing to do. It may not seem like a big deal to the boys, or like it is gross but just something that guys do, but a lot of nasty things can result from this. Not the least is escalation in this kind of thing if they think they can get away with it!! Mold growing on the shirts if left for a couple of days are just one example.

    Just be sure that the VP keeps difficult child's name out of it!!! Chances are if difficult child had kept the shirt or called you right away he would have gotten labelled as the kid who snitched. It can make you a target.

    Kudos to difficult child for telling you what happened and to you for telling the VP.
  3. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    The "eeeewww" factor is definately up there! I second talking to the VP was the best avenue to take. And you're right...boys don't get the gross-out factor!

  4. shellyd67

    shellyd67 Active Member

    This is so darn gross. WTH ! They better get the bleach and pressure washer in that locker room !
  5. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    I'll be interested in seeind what, if anything, happens. I've raised four boys and each of them had exposure to weird things in locker rooms. All four (from two generations) observed bullying, one had a coach who shared inappropriate stories and the youngest was the object of bullying where the coach said "what do you want me to do about it?"

    Yep, you're right, I have strong feelings about the lack of control in PE. I hope the VP takes care of the problem appropriately and doesn't feel the need to identify your son. Fingers crossed.DDD
  6. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    I don't think we are going to hear the results of what came about. difficult child gave VP the name of the boy and told him that he doesn't know for sure that is what happened to his gym clothes but his locker is near the shower where the alleged behavior started.