Is this part of Asperger's?
- Thread starter TerryJ2
- Start date
4timmy
New Member
Oh my.... reading this has given me insight into what it's going to be like in another 2-3 years with difficult child. I have somewhat of a hard time getting him to shower or bathe now.... I never really thought about what was going to happen when he has to take responsibility for doing it himself. 
Janna
New Member
No offense, but this issue wouldn't make or break an Aspergers diagnosis. You could put this under ODD - simple refusal to use the bathroom. My son is Aspie and does not have this or any other issue with hygiene, that doesn't mean he's not Aspergers. I'd really talk to your psychiatrist/therapist/whatever about this one.
Here's a good example of D's thinking - they make him brush his teeth at his partial in the morning. He brushes them here in the AM. Brushes them here in the PM. That says to him, I brush my teeth 2x a day. I brush my teeth 2x a day. I brush my teeth 2x a day.
12 years, right?
So, if he brushes them at the partial, he doesn't have to brush them here in the morning. Like, goodness, we would never *think* about brushing them 3x a day LOL!
I'd think about making accomodations or telling him that it's OK if the toilet makes noise and wakes everyone up. When you pee, you pee in the toilet. Every time. Always. And that doesn't change.
Here's a good example of D's thinking - they make him brush his teeth at his partial in the morning. He brushes them here in the AM. Brushes them here in the PM. That says to him, I brush my teeth 2x a day. I brush my teeth 2x a day. I brush my teeth 2x a day.
12 years, right?
So, if he brushes them at the partial, he doesn't have to brush them here in the morning. Like, goodness, we would never *think* about brushing them 3x a day LOL!
I'd think about making accomodations or telling him that it's OK if the toilet makes noise and wakes everyone up. When you pee, you pee in the toilet. Every time. Always. And that doesn't change.
Marguerite
Active Member
Check to see which works best - try the vinegar as a 1st rinse, and wash all your stuff entirely separately. We found the girls demanded to not have difficult child 1's things washed with any of theirs. husband also got on that bandwagon. My problem was, I had a lot of difficulty making up a full load of difficult child 1's stuff, because he would never change his clothes and I could never find his dirty underwear (probably because he never changed it, he just wore it until it fell apart).
Another tip - buy bottles of various essential oils (the cheap ones) and use a few drops in the final rinse. The best for this particular job (and often cheapest) include eucalyptus, rosemary, ti-tree (aka melaleuca), pine and lemon. Most of these are also somewhat antiseptic and anti-fungal as well, especially ti-tree. If you're using pure essential oil, you should only need to add a few drops - I have a front loader so I add these by putting a few drops onto a cloth and throwing it into the wash. But without the vinegar stage, all you're doing is trying to mask a smell. The initial vinegar splash would remove all or most of the smell first.
And whether this is an Aspie thing - I agree, it's not a 100% correlation. In other words, you can have Asperger's without this, and you can have this without Asperger's. But I do think there could be a significant overlap. But whether it's a specifically Asppie thing or not, it still smells just as bad and is just as big a nuisance.
In other words I don't ask why my son stinks, I just buy the viinegar.
Marg
TerryJ2
Well-Known Member
LOL!
But, Janna, he DOES use the bathroom. He goes in the sink.
He's half asleep. I don't think he's being defiant. I think he doesn't "get it."
If it were as easy as simply telling him that he must go in the toilet, it would be resolved by now.
One of the things that made me consider this as part of Asperger's is that he doesn't seem to "get it."
He doesn't care about his hygiene. It made me think of the book, LOOK ME IN THE EYE. I realize that the author is only one person, but he did a great job describing many things that could be considered typical of Aspies. Incl. the BO issue and urinating in odd places issue.
You are SO LUCKY that you don't have to deal with-that. Just the toothbrushing. Oh, yeah, we've got that, too.
But, Janna, he DOES use the bathroom. He goes in the sink.
He's half asleep. I don't think he's being defiant. I think he doesn't "get it."
If it were as easy as simply telling him that he must go in the toilet, it would be resolved by now.
One of the things that made me consider this as part of Asperger's is that he doesn't seem to "get it."
He doesn't care about his hygiene. It made me think of the book, LOOK ME IN THE EYE. I realize that the author is only one person, but he did a great job describing many things that could be considered typical of Aspies. Incl. the BO issue and urinating in odd places issue.
You are SO LUCKY that you don't have to deal with-that. Just the toothbrushing. Oh, yeah, we've got that, too.
Janna
New Member
Put one of those baby potty seats next to his bed LMAO! Yech, I dunno -
We had bathroom issues, but it wasn't urine. It was bowels. Thanks to Risperdal, Dylan decided to hold his bm's. Not for a week. Not for 3 weeks. Not even for a month, but a whopping 8 MONTHS! LMAOOOOOOO! Know how fun *that* is to cure? LOLOL!
I got no advice but to listen to Marg LMAO! She always knows what to do
We had bathroom issues, but it wasn't urine. It was bowels. Thanks to Risperdal, Dylan decided to hold his bm's. Not for a week. Not for 3 weeks. Not even for a month, but a whopping 8 MONTHS! LMAOOOOOOO! Know how fun *that* is to cure? LOLOL!
I got no advice but to listen to Marg LMAO! She always knows what to do
Marguerite
Active Member
I've described this before... both boys at somestage seemd to go through a phase of believing that excretion was something they would eventually grow out of. I really don't know how they got that idea - with all the kids, they would follow me to the bathroom and watch while I did what I had to do (as an example, as well as my own desperation with a clingy child).
I remember easy child 2/difficult child 2 applauding me one day after I "performed" and saying, "Good girl, Mummy!"
but the boys never got the idea. I'm sure that when difficult child 1 decided somewhere in his head, to not put it in his nappy, but also to not do it in the toilet, tat the problem would just go away.
And then there was the morning with difficult child 3 (he was verbal, so he must have been at least 6). He slammed out of his room, burst through the toilet door like a SWAT raid, made souds like Niagara falls in flood and I heard him say exasperatedly, "EVERY MORNING, there's wee!"
Marg
I remember easy child 2/difficult child 2 applauding me one day after I "performed" and saying, "Good girl, Mummy!"
but the boys never got the idea. I'm sure that when difficult child 1 decided somewhere in his head, to not put it in his nappy, but also to not do it in the toilet, tat the problem would just go away.
And then there was the morning with difficult child 3 (he was verbal, so he must have been at least 6). He slammed out of his room, burst through the toilet door like a SWAT raid, made souds like Niagara falls in flood and I heard him say exasperatedly, "EVERY MORNING, there's wee!"
Marg
CoolTwentyGrand
New Member
My son has ADHD, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), ODD, anxiety disorder( he developed a bleeding ulcer at age 19) and panic disorder and been tested and labeled Emotionally Disabled. I think I can add to this list Asperger's. I have been hanging out here for a few months, just studying and reading about this and I'm sure. WHere do I go for a diagnosis in Myrtle Beach, SC on an adult?
I need help bigtime. I'm at the end of my rope .....
I need help bigtime. I'm at the end of my rope .....
blendedbaby
New Member
This is my first time on the site. I found this thread while googling. My son by my husband's first marriage has Asperger's even though he has not been properly diagnosed. What I'm not sure how to handle or "fix" is his bathroom issues. He doesn't seem to urinate himself at night when he is sleeping, which is when you would think the problem would exist, but it's during the day. It seems as though he just gets busy and doesn't want to stop or waits too long. He is 10 years old. Any thoughts? I'm tired of washing pee pee pants.
keista
New Member
Welcome blendedbaby!
This is an old thread, so I suggest starting a thread of your own to introduce yourself. That's the best way to get relevant responses to your issues.
In the meantime, I'll say that the only thing you can do is give him constant reminders to go to the bathroom. Hopefully at 10 he'll be irked by potty training 101 and start going on his own. The other thing you can do is make HIM wash his pee pee pants, and clean up whatever mess was made. That may motivate him to use the restroom appropriately. If you're always cleaning it up, why should he take responsibility for it?
This is an old thread, so I suggest starting a thread of your own to introduce yourself. That's the best way to get relevant responses to your issues.
In the meantime, I'll say that the only thing you can do is give him constant reminders to go to the bathroom. Hopefully at 10 he'll be irked by potty training 101 and start going on his own. The other thing you can do is make HIM wash his pee pee pants, and clean up whatever mess was made. That may motivate him to use the restroom appropriately. If you're always cleaning it up, why should he take responsibility for it?
Marg's Man
Member
As keista says, this is an old thread. Just goes to show - There's nothing new under the sun.
Marg & I are still here but not as active, difficult child 3 is the only one still at home.
Try all the advice given here and start a new thread to introduce yourself especially if you still have problems after trying these ideas.
Marg's Man
Marg & I are still here but not as active, difficult child 3 is the only one still at home.
Try all the advice given here and start a new thread to introduce yourself especially if you still have problems after trying these ideas.
Marg's Man
TerryJ2
Well-Known Member
Yes, it is unfortunate that this is such a common issue that the old thread is still popular and relevant.
by the way, my son is now 15 and uses the toilet, but 95% of the time, goes all over the lid and the floor, doesn't flush, and doesn't wash his hands. I have to stand guard.
by the way, my son is now 15 and uses the toilet, but 95% of the time, goes all over the lid and the floor, doesn't flush, and doesn't wash his hands. I have to stand guard.
SearchingForRainbows
Active Member
Terry,
I agree - It is unfortunate that this thread is just as relevant today as it was over three years ago. Like your difficult child, my difficult children have gotten better about using the toilet but still have issues with hygiene. difficult child 1 recently told easy child/difficult child 3 that tooth paste is over rated. She doesn't think he owns a toothbrush! However, he uses mouth wash daily. difficult child 2 tries to keep himself clean but when we visit him, he usually has food on his face, dirt under his way too long fingernails. I'm not sure he washes his hands after using the bathroom because as soon as the toilet flushes, he's out of there.
I think difficult child 2 will always have some difficulty keeping himself clean even though he tries. I was surprised to hear about difficult child 1's poor dental hygiene. I really thought difficult child 1 was way past past all of this! SFR
I agree - It is unfortunate that this thread is just as relevant today as it was over three years ago. Like your difficult child, my difficult children have gotten better about using the toilet but still have issues with hygiene. difficult child 1 recently told easy child/difficult child 3 that tooth paste is over rated. She doesn't think he owns a toothbrush! However, he uses mouth wash daily. difficult child 2 tries to keep himself clean but when we visit him, he usually has food on his face, dirt under his way too long fingernails. I'm not sure he washes his hands after using the bathroom because as soon as the toilet flushes, he's out of there.
I think difficult child 2 will always have some difficulty keeping himself clean even though he tries. I was surprised to hear about difficult child 1's poor dental hygiene. I really thought difficult child 1 was way past past all of this! SFR
TerryJ2
Well-Known Member
Oh, my! Funny, my difficult child is the opposite in regard to his fingernails. He doesn't like using a fingernail brush, so he clips them ... and clips them ... until they almost bleed. Very Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). I point it out to the dr every time we have a physical, difficult child promises to change, acts embarrassed, and goes home and does it again.
So sorry about your difficult child 1. Mine is the same.
So sorry about your difficult child 1. Mine is the same.
blendedbaby
New Member
Thank you all very much. I didn't realize it was such an old thread. I think I will learn a lot from you all.
buddy
New Member
Hi both of you! Hope you too, cool twenty grand, will post your own thread because I am positive lots of people will respond.
To start pls see if you can find a neuropsychologist in your area to do complete assessments. That sounds like where you are stuck right now. Check major hospital clinics and universities. There are also private child development clinics so search your local directories.
To start pls see if you can find a neuropsychologist in your area to do complete assessments. That sounds like where you are stuck right now. Check major hospital clinics and universities. There are also private child development clinics so search your local directories.
