Its me again, the confused mom with a million quetions and issues. So difficult child and I had another visit with the social worker, he was actually a little looking forward to going. Earlier in the week he had a few pretty strong arguments with with friends at school and at the after school program. That night he came out of the shower crying, telling me all that happened, he said he screamed at one of the boys and went back to him and said sorry "I have anger issues" he was mortified that that came out of his mouth, he doesnt want anyone to know about his "anger issues". He was so sad and upset and feared losing this friend, and scared that the principal would call me. We ended talking about 1/2 hour while he laid on my lap (with towel around him, he was soaked ) He asked why does he have anger issues, who gave it to him, mommy or daddy, why doesnt his sister have them. He also asked about when we were going to see the next dr for the neuro psychiatric. I was very impressed with him that night, we didnt solve anything but I think I was happy and sad that he realizes that his anger is wrong. But later on, we had the bedtime battle and all was back to "normal" At therapy I started to get upset because everything the social worker tells me to do, I have done already a millions times and have told her that, but she keeps telling to do it this was or say this, or try that, explain it this way...I say been there, done that, we think we have tried everything in the book, its been over 5 years of this. We talked about the constant battle of cleaning his room, she says he cant just go in there is figure it out, its too overwhelming, too stimulating for him. Give him 1 task at a time, like pick up all your army guys, put them away then come see me and we will do the next thing....well that doesnt work cause he comes out and says "ok did that, you told me i only to put away my army guys and i would be done....ok going outside now" when I know that I said come see me after for next task. Battle begins again. So she said this week pick something talk about it all morning, "ok dont forget you have to clean your army guys before going to the birthday party" I said what if he doesnt do it, does he not go to party? she said "he'll do it" as difficult child is shaking his head NO, I said you dont know him, he wont do it. She says he will. But I know he wont. I then say, what about the rest of the room, it is destroyed from simple playing and rage detruction. he is currently grounded from his toys until he picks them up and away, she said its not right to ground him from his toys, I said I dont agree cause I know he can do it....its been 2 weeks of him without toys, she says I am just fueling him by punishing him. I think I sorta shut down and "yes I understand" the rest of the time cause its just not working and didnt want to continue to argue with her. I did touch upon the label thing and my weird issue with labelling him, I felt like she wasnt helping me get through it, it was more like, "i dont get why your focused on the label" I would have thought I would have had some empathy or something but I felt like she made me feel bad for thinking I dont want my kid labelled "whats wrong with a label" UGH UGH UGH. So, after 5 visits with her I dont want to go back, its wasting my time, my insurance covers 8 visits at 100%. I dont think a social worker is what we need here, should I try and switch to another for the last 3 visits and pay out of pocket for the rest? Or should I wait until I meet with neuro psychiatric next Tues and ask her advice? This road I am on is so dark and scary, I am walking slowly down it all alone (husband has fallen off the bandwagon and all other family thinks I am taking this too far) and dont feel supported. About husband, he goes back and forth, we both to help him but we are not on the same path to get there. I dont think he agrees with social worker at all and doesnt give anything any chance with difficult child, if it doesnt work immediately he shuts down and goes into agree dad which doesnt help at all. Me and him get at each other cause I am not reacting to difficult child's behavior and he gets mad at me for not reacting to him and I get mad at him for reacting to difficult child's behavior. Such a viscous cycle. Thank god for this board.