It only took 2 days

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by everywoman, Jun 10, 2009.

  1. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    and she's gone back. Darn it!!!! Why can't our daughters just leave the losers alone. She texted me and told me she would see me tomorrow. She and the guy have "a lot to talk about." Yeah. He can put her down--and act like he's joking---and she can put up with the carp. She can drive the 45 minutes to see him everyday---cause his truck won't make the trip to town. She can hang around Walmart while he goes and hangs out with is ex so he can visit his kids. UGH!!! Can you tell I'm not happy!
  2. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'm sorry to hear this. Hoping it won't last long. Hugs.
  3. Mattsmom277

    Mattsmom277 Active Member

    :( So sorry to hear she can't see what this guy is really about. I too hope it doesn't last long. I see so often nowadays, young women from good families, landing with total dufus's not worthy of them, and the women going back for more. I swear its epidemic or something. I can understand your disappointment. I hope he screws up really quick. It will hurt your daughter, but perhaps wake her up. (((hugs)))
  4. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I am so sorry. This must be very hard for you.
  5. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    From a mom of another daughter in that epidemic - I totaly know where you are at and how you are feeling. Our daughters have so much going for them and they easily throw it away for these selfish guys who can care less about our daughter's happiness and well being.

    Your daughters "guy" is probably guilting her with those kids. "My kids need a dad. I can't give them that if you don't get me to my scheduled visits." Notice I did not use the word "help". These guys don't want "help", they want a servant to set up everything for them.
  6. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    Andy---I feel your pain.
  7. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    I suppose that is the possible downside with a daughter with the heart of gold. Always wanting to make the world a better place at their own expense! They really do think they are supporting and helping these guys but they are really holding the guys and themselves back.
  8. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member Staff Member

    Ugh! Ya know, I did similar stuff when I was that age too. I woke up one day and decided that I deserved better than that. I hope she has that aha moment soon. She sounds like a really good kid. She deserves better.
  9. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    She'll have her aha moment eventually.

    This is what I worry about with K. Currently she's talking about leaving perv husband. I'm sitting on my hands because I have no way of judging how serious she is about it.

    Sorry about the let down. I was so hoping this was the aha moment.

  10. lovemysons

    lovemysons Well-Known Member

    Uhg! Hope daughter wakes up soon.
    what is that saying, something about giving pearls to swine and them trampling on em...anyway, just thinking that your daughter could be doing so much better for herself, giving herself higher quality people to love...and be loved by.

    There's hope...
    and hoping it's sooner rather than later.

  11. Star*

    Star* call 911

    Should have put the troll in the wood chipper.

    Dumb - just no other word for it. Dumb. But one of the top signs of women in abusive relationships and why they stay is because


    Fact: He is who he is and no amount of her love will fix anything. He's NOT going to change.

    Paint me red - I'm a seethign auntie.
  12. Abbey

    Abbey Spork Queen

    At some point you have to live and let live by your daughter's choices. If she chooses to stay, that's her deal. You do not need to engage. She'll find the right path eventually, but it may be rough. Hang tough.

  13. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    It's tough to have our experiences and not be able to transfer the lessons we learned to our sweet children.
    Do you think this is just a fun "bad boy" or is she serious about him?
    You have to wonder why she would want such a person to partner with her to raise children.
    Oh well, I'm sure we all kissed a few frogs on our way to making smarter choices.
    She is young enough and smart enough to put him off when she is ready to settle down.

    PS: having son's brings out the issue of females who are opportunistic and manipulating. It's not only guys who don't know how to treat a easy child.