When I got home from the appointment with difficult child's therapist, I was just tired...and kind of numb. Now I'm a tangle of emotions. Borderline Personality Disorder is difficult to live with - for the patient and the family - and difficult to treat. Especially if the patient refuses to acknowledge it. And, we can't say anything to difficult child because she will dig in her heels, become extremely angry and then refuse to continue therapy. For crying out loud, she refused to continue with her last therapist because she mentioned something about deodorant to difficult child. difficult child is soooo unhappy. Treating Borderline (BPD) takes a lot of work and she is just so not there at this point in time. She wants a quick fix for everything and is just not willing to have to work at something. She's adamant about what's going with her in the first place, so even getting her to agree that there is something else going on isn't going to happen. And early treatment is best. I think about my aunt and my grandmother and they have spent their entire lives as unhappy, miserable people who keep repeating the same mistakes and not learning from them...and having emotional needs that can never be met. That hole I've talked about with difficult child in the past - where she just needs more than is humanly possible to give. Then I was reading that adolescents with Borderline (BPD) are more likely than adults to have other comorbid personality disorders and from the different classes of personality disorders....and it mentioned shizotypal pd. Schizotypal is not her, but I was reading schizoid and, wow, I see that in her. And I just can't go there right now. I just can't. I can't think about all of this. All I have ever wanted was for my children to be happy. I never had the definition of success for my children as anything other than for them to be happy. I have tried so hard to do what is right, what is best for them. I *knew* this diagnosis was a possibility. I always had it in the back of my mind. I saw the behavior, I knew. I've seen the behavior since she was little. But, I was hoping with everything I had that we could intervene and keep it from happening. Yet, it was always there in the back of my mind. And now, hearing it out loud from a professional....I'm devastated. I'm heartbroken. And I hope on all that is good in this world that we can help her overcome this and that difficult child can be the smart, beautiful, creative, vibrant, and HAPPY person I know she can be.