It's been 5 weeks since husband died. I chose to skip our family's annual cook off this weekend. I thought that at first I'd take the tweedles to a cabin over this long weekend ~ couldn't get the help. I then thought I'd take kt & wm out to lunch & a movie today. Couldn't get the help. Somehow I need to physically get as strong as I can so I can deal with the demands on my time ~ on my mind. Over the last week, I've felt myself get progressively weaker - losing feeling in my extremeties. I'm exhausted ~ I'm sure it's the stress of the last 2 months (8 years????). I have this dumb threat hanging over me by the county - pushed by the sd to have kt pulled from my home because of her major school refusal. Part of me says....have at it. Let me know how it works. Part of me is devastated as I feel as I'm failing as a parent. SD keeps overstepping their boundaries by asking about my health, my cognitive abilities, my memory issues. Should I tell them I'm going in for a neuro psycho test? Nah! It's none of their business I no longer have the energy; the interest in continuing the non stop fight/advocation on behalf of kt & wm. They have sapped me of all strength; husband didn't help the situation. I'm depressed beyond reason - stop the world, I want off. Just needed to talk. Thanks for listening.