Just wondering, Have any of you....

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by hearthope, Jan 14, 2007.

  1. Janna

    Janna New Member

    Nope. Never.

    I agree with Susie full heartedly, too. If the child's attitude is so severe there is no desire to change, no facility is going to change them.


  2. Martie

    Martie Moderator


    What you did is as close to providing the kind of supervision a good 24/7 placement provides as any parent could. I lived for about 6 weeks as you describe and knew I couldn't do it. I was working and so was husband--with both of us trying to cover all the time for ex-difficult child. We could not do it, continue to live with another child, and keep our jobs. I admire your patience and fortitude.

  3. KFld

    KFld New Member

    My difficult child had the best results in a state rehab facility. He did relapse in between and went back himself for another 45 days, but I felt the program was the best he had been in and it gave him the tools to go back when he needed too. I really believe in the end though that no program is going to work unless they want it to. It doesn't matter how good, or bad the program, it's the attitude of the individual and if they want it to work.
  4. Sunlight

    Sunlight Active Member

    it is important to remember that no matter what, you tried everything you knew to do and more all in the name of love.
  5. OTE

    OTE Guest

    in my humble opinion they have to want to, they have to have the skills (the point of forcing them into therapy) and they have to know there is no other choice (or the alternative is so awful/ unacceptable to them)... IF what they are doing is controllable. eg no one can control seizures or psychotic episodes. in my humble opinion it is much harder to determine how much of mania, anxiety disorder, depression, etc is controllable.

    Yes, mental illness is documented pretty much back as far as it could be. But then, so was suicide and the other tragedies resulting from it. We have options to try today. But where the behavior is controllable vs not controllable is my concern.
  6. Martie

    Martie Moderator

    I think this is a fine line. Ex-difficult child did not WANT to go to egbs. Why should he have desired Tx? It was definitely all our fault--he believed that and his Goth crowd reinforced it...

    However, he was 14 and I could force him to be there. They could (gently) make him uncomfortable if he didn't participate. After a while, he began to feel better (depression lifted) and he thought it was for the best to be there and try to get his life together. He also knew it was a set program that he would leave upon completion--not an open ended "sentence"--so he had a target to work toward. At the beginning, I was afraid he would be kicked out as too severe, but after about 6 months, I knew it would work well enough that he would complete the program.

    So in my opinion, the child has to try, but parents sometimes have to force the opp'thank you for Tx.

    The younger the child, the better compelling Tx works which is why I think ex-difficult child's outcome was better than some of his peer group at egbs who were 16 or 17 at entry.