Just wondering!

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by DenitaS, Oct 15, 2009.

  1. DenitaS

    DenitaS New Member

    Is detaching the best thing to do at this point?
    I feel like I have done EVERYTHING that I am capable of. After all of the court stuff and things with DFS and pshosp I am just out of ideas!
    They tell me it is their life and they are going to live it their way! So what do you do? When the police will not allow you to restrain your child from leaving your house (against their rights) and when they will sit there while they cuss you out and do NOTHING. And when you finally have enough and sweep their feet out from under them and YOU go to jail and NOTHING happens to the child who shoved you into the door and cussed you with names that you have never even HEARD of! What are you supposed to do?
    They told me in CO that if I didn't get control of difficult child 2 that they would remove my grandson from my home. That my family was "tough" and they didnt' have any suggestions or programs available for us? They told me to get control of her or place her with a family member! and these are the same people that I trusted and WENT to for help.

    I just feel like detaching is the ONLY way for ME to keep my sanity intact!

    What do you think?
  2. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE


  3. DenitaS

    DenitaS New Member

    Thank you so much!!! I feel like such a failure for not doing more! BUT, I don't know what MORE I can do! I just feel like I need to do for the rest of my family at this point!
    Does that make sense???
  4. CrazyinVA

    CrazyinVA Well-Known Member Staff Member

    It makes perfect sense. Remember these are their choices, not yours. Take care of yourself.
  5. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

  6. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Awww heck yes, dear!!! Detachment is how we keep our sanity.

    Your difficult children are choosing this behavior. Not you.

    Although I'm a bit surprised at your local police response. Maybe it's cuz we're a small rural town......but I know our cops wouldn't do a thing to a parent diciplining their child unless they were beating them. Heck, I was waiting for Travis to get off work from wallie world.....cops had picked up a kid for shop lifting. Cop waited for Dad to show up. Dad just kept yelling at the kid and smacking him every time he came out with a smart aleck remark and cop just pretended there was something interesting in the sky. lol When Dad had had enough, kid was taken to jail.

    If you've got no back up........the only choice you have is to detach.

  7. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Lisa...that is the way the cops act here except that if they think the parents will be harder on the kid than the legal system will, they send the kid home with the parents.

    They picked Cory up for shoplifting and Cory was begging them to do anything...lock him up, hide him, send him to adult prison, send him to foster care...anything...just dont send him home with his daddy...lmao. Why? Cory said his daddy was gonna kill him. Cops asked Tony if he was going to actually kill him. Tony said no but he is gonna wish I had. Cops laughed and said...ok...take him home.