Hi everyone. I've been lurking around this forum and reading so many parents with my same story which has been very comforting. I'll try to write a condensed version of the past few months of the havoc we've gone through and hopefully get some advice. I am a divorced mom with three kids. The oldest attends college and was a very easy child. My youngest is 13 and she is also a responsible, mature young lady. That brings me to my middle child who is 17years old. First let me say he was a bright, well behaved child up until sophomore year of high school. He started smoking weed at 15. I found it and I was testing him periodically to try to keep him in check (haha- I laugh at my naivety now). His grades were still good, had honors classes, no issues at home. End of junior year I started to notice he was gone most of the time with friends and when he'd come home go straight to his room or the bathroom. He became very withdrawn from me and his siblings with very little interaction. The start of senior year was bad from the get go. Skipping classes, barely attending and I could tell he was high..but i couldn't put my finger on what he was taking. Of course, he denied using drugs. Things escalated pretty quickly. His school called saying he was high and they were taking him to the hospital because his heart rate was fast and he wouldn't tell them what he had taken. Turns out it was weed and Xanax bars. Apparently he'd been doing "xannies" for a while. I didn't even know what those were- that was my state of ignorance. Within a few weeks of that incident he was arrested for burglary (breaking into cars) and ran away from home and was missing for a few weeks. He's been at home off and on while waiting his case to go through the system and after lots of chaos and drama we are finally getting to the sentencing part of the charges. He put in a plea and has been on house arrest (thanks to the running away part). We will have a meeting with the state attorney, public defender, probation officer and myself beforehand to see what will be the recommendation given to the judge. He received a comprehensive evaluation that the state attorney requested and from what the probation officer says, she is recommending inpatient treatment. The judge can either adjudicate him and send him to a non secure facility or give him probation and treatment (not sure if inpatient/outpatient). Up until now he's been going to counseling once a week but just decided to sober up a week ago which has been great but I'm not really hopeful about it lasting since he doesn't have a program - just the counselor he sees once a week. I have to fill out this paperwork for court and there's a section that is for what you want to tell the judge. I'm not sure what I want to say. I don't want him in jail but I would like him to go to inpatient treatment. He on the other hand just wants probation and continue with his counseling. Does anyone have any experience with this? It's all been such a confusing process for me. I don't want to protect my son from consequences, but I'm just not sure what my role is at this point. It's not so much about what to do, but more..how to do it?