Kind of a medication question

[Kjs]

difficult child has such anxiety, we haven't found relief for that yet. He is doing well at handling it.

When I made him try the Vyvanse - He all of a sudden thought his throat was swollen. I told him he is fine.

then he was constantly holding his neck. Thought his throat would swell shut. I told him he is fine.

A bit later he asked if he was going to die.

A bit after that he told me he was "high".

He was fine most of the day ( besides thinking he would die). Then we stopped at school. I know he was sad his vacation was ending but he put himself in this angry mood. He is good at that. When we got home I had asked him to do some chores. He was busy playing a game on the computer. I asked many times and he yelled back that this was the last day of vacation and he isn't doing any chores.

He had lied about taking the vyvanse a few days earlier. We wanted to try it before school actually started. He said he took it and he was fine. However - he isn't to clever. He didn't take any out of the bottle. So I counted it and they were all there.

husband was angry that he lied. He asked him to do chores too. Nope. husband worked all day, looked at him and just said, "It's ok----I'll cut the grass"
difficult child was angry that we were "on his case" . So he blamed his anger on Vyvanse.

NOW my question. With all the anxiety (can't even put it into words, so hard to even tell you how bad it is)....What IF - I snuck it in his food. Without him knowing. Would that be bad of me? Then I would really know how it was.


Appreciate thoughts on this.

 

[tictoc]

Hi,
Bug also has terrible anxiety. We tried Focalin, which we knew was a long shot given his Tourette's Syndrome, and it was truly awful. It not only increased his tics and made him very irritable, but also increased his anxiety to the point he thought he was dying. He was convinced he didn't have a pulse and that he would die at any moment.

Stimulants can greatly increase anxiety and since he had such a specific fear about his throat swellig shut, I would guess that he genuinely felt that way. But, I really don't know.

 

[Josie]

I have an anxious child too, and I would never sneak something into her food. It, to me, is a violation of trust. Also, she is obsessive and would always be asking me after that if there was anything in her food. It just wouldn't be worth it.

I have a food intolerance that my husband didn't want to believe could affect me the way it did. If he had done an experiment on me by sneaking it into my food, I would feel extremely betrayed.

I would also not disregard complaints of a swollen throat from her, even if I thought it could be anxiety. What if it isn't anxiety and is really a reaction? Unless this was the day that he hadn't really taken it?

I have always been told that ADHD medications can make anxious kids worse so even if it is anxiety making his throat feel swollen, it might not be the right medication.

 

[smallworld]

I agree with everything Hope said.

One other thought: You have talked frequently about difficult child having no respect for you. You need to show respect to gain respect. Sneaking pills in your difficult child's food is incredibly disrespectful. It would be hard to win his respect back after pulling a stunt like this. JMHO.

 

[GoingNorth]

Not only, as SW said, sneaking in medications a violation of trust and respect, but in many jurisdictions at his age, it is also a violation of his civil rights that you could be prosecuted for should he so choose.

 

[Kjs]

I don't think you understand the degree of anxiety. He thinks he is going to die ALL the time. If he drank out of someones cup by mistake - he thinks he is dying. Not casually mentioning this. A full fledged panic. Leading to Panic attack, many times leading to ER because he cannot breathe.

And I would NEVER tell him. These medications are prescribed to help him. For him. The degree of anxiety is preventing these from helping. I honestly believe no medication will help him because of the anxiety. He reacted to medication once, and that will never be forgotten.

 

[susiestar]

I agree with the others. In some states your difficult child is old enough to refuse medications totally and have the law back him up.

While I would not TELL him this, it is important that you are aware that sneaking medications into his food might have him look into this.

Why do you not believe that he felt his throat was closing?

I realize that he balks at chores a fair amt of the time. But the stimulants can make a person edgy, mean and belligerent. It can also make your heart race and make you feel really bad.

He should NOT have access to the entire bottle of medications. Vyvanse is highly sought after by drug users. difficult child could sell them for a nice stash of $$ for stuff he wants.While he may not ever do this, he CAN do this.

When a child is lying about their medications there are problems. You need to call the doctor and his therapist about the throat closing problem and his extreme reaction to many medications that causes him to flat out refuse to take them when they may be exactly what he needs.

If you and the doctor decide he needs the medications, then you or husband MUST oversee each dose. Give them to him, have him take them in front of you and then check his mouth (including the cheeks, under the tongue and between the cheek and the gums) to be sure he took them. Also watch to see if he goes into the bathroom and vomits them up. I know a number of young men and women who are Wiz' age who have done that for years. It is a wonderful way to erode all their teeth, to make sure they never become stable and to create huge health problems in addition to these things.

Has he tried strattera? It can be very effective for ADHD. Wiz has excelled while on it for years. My gfgbro is AMAZINGLY different on strattera than off of it. Before jessie's seizure diagnosis it was suggested for her because it would help with the possible adhd, the panic attacks and her anxiety problems anytime Wiz was around.

It also helps Wiz with his depression.

Take a step back. Look at the situation like a total stranger who knows no one involved. Then see what you can be flexible on and what is a huge big deal.

Just a thought" How horrible would you feel if you slipped the medication into his food and then

 

[susiestar]

With the anxiety this bad have you considered inpatient treatment?

It really seems to be more than could be handled at home. If his anxiety leads to panic attacks over drinking out of someone's cup and they are interfering with his life so very much then he NEEDS to be taken inpatient.

Please call his psychiatrist and speak to him about this. Do not tell difficult child until you have the hospital stay set up. Then take him for a ride and end up there. he will be angry and have anxiety. But if you tell him then you won't be able to get him in the car. Or he might run off.

You have been battling this for so long. With your husband now on the discipline kick, the opportunities to blame him for being "belligerent" or "rude" or "mean" are everywhere. Reality is that the anxiety is what you are talking to. It rules your son.

It is time to bring in the experts to help him. With his obsession over getting sick from someones germs or having reactions to every medication, I think you are coping with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). I am NOT an expert in it, just a mom who has had to deal with it. If he has Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) he can still have a great life. But if it is not ever treated it might very well keep him from having the future we all want for our kids.

many hugs, I know this is hard!

 

[Josie]

I also think you really can't win by slipping the medication into his food. Either he will taste it or see it and know or he will feel it affect him and know or even if he doesn't find out, what will you do? Will you just always put it in his food? Will you tell him you did put it there and he didn't react, so he needs to take it?

I was thinking the same thing as Susie about Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). My daughter just went through months of intensive Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) therapy where the therapist came to our house and did CBT/ERP with her. The therapist mentioned that he does work with people who have anxiety attacks, also. They somehow simulate the physical reactions from a panic attack and help the person realize they can cope with it. I think the theory is that then they won't just avoid things that might cause a panic attack.

I agree that his medication phobia needs to be addressed by a professional.

If he has that much anxiety, maybe that should be addressed before the ADHD? Especially since the ADHD medications might make his anxiety worse. The CBT/ERP was very helpful for my daughter.

 

[crazymama30]

I would not sneak it into his food. It would violate any trust and respect between the two of you, and I agree with what sw said about in order to earn respect you have to give respect.


Is he still seeing a therapist as well as a psychiatrist? I think anxiety can be treated well this therapies (as others have mentioned) and know from my own experience that I found help with anxiety through EMDR. It was incredibly helpful. What about learning some relaxation techniques that he could use to help when/if he feels a panic attack coming on?