Nafekoh
How long as Mr. Man been in your home? I ask because I think you cloned my son...LOL Not to be flippant, but everything you have said behavior wise is exactly what we have/are going through. The medicines for my son are different, but he has trouble in school (listening that is, his grades are excellent), and trouble at home listening...getting angry and destructive. Don't know if it will help, we just had a case conference and something that came out is that if he is in trouble a lot then he is feeling really beat up. He needs to feel successful at something, anything. They also suggested that we ignore 90% of his behaviors and only focus on the ones that could hurt him, someone else physically, or affect his legal status (IE stealing etc), and it has worked relatively well so far. The other thing they suggested was to wait until the issue had past to address it. Kids in his shoes doen't hear the reasoning, or the corrections when they are still in the midst of their meltdowns. Avoid the confrontation, talk him down, get him to chill for just a few, then address it, and do by way of questioning him so that he draws the conclusions himself. It is also a control thing...he feels like everything is out of control, and he can't even control his behaviors...if by allowing him to lecture (for lack of a better word) himself prompted by your questions, he will hear you better. Each child is different of course, but hey it can't hurt to try right?