Looking for something I know I once got here


New Member
I used to have tacked on the front of my refrigerator something I got here and I'm hoping someone knows what I'm talking about and can repost it because I know I found it helpful and there are others here who I think could use it right now.

It was a list of sayings like, to love someone is not to manipulate them, yada yada yada. To detatch is to yada yada yada. I know someone will know what I am talking about. I hope because it doesn't sound like I know what I'm talking about as I read this.

If anyone knows and can repost it, or tell me where to find it, I'd appreciate it.


New Member
The more I think about it, it went something like, to let go is to yada yada, not to yada yada. Now that makes much more sense then the last way I explained it. Now it's driving me crazy because I want to know what it said :smile:


(the future) MRS. GERE
"If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, it is yours. If it doesn't, it was never yours to begin with."

Is this it?

I can't think of anything else. lol



New Member
No, it was actually a list of things, like:
to detatch is not to manipulate the situation, but to allow the person to do such and such

To love someone is to not do everything for them, but allow them to learn to do things for themselves.

I know I'm not getting it right, but I think someone will know what I'm talking about. I used to have it laminated, on my refrigerator and I used to look at it often when things got tuff. The list made so much sense.


New Member
I was sitting here laughing at myself as I was typing it because I don't know how else to describe it. I know it was something posted here one time, and I remember parts of it, but obviously not enough


Well-Known Member
Well the most interesting things came up when I googled "to love someone is not to manipulate them" LOL. I got everything from how to communicate with aging parents, how to talk to narcissists, to manipulating sex organs! Howdy DO! I dont think we want that list...lmao.

Oh well...I tried.
Hi, I googled for your sayings and was unable to find them, but I did find this very good article on detaching

Learning to "Detach" from a Loved One on Drugs
Is this it?

To let go does not mean to stop caring, it means I can't do it for someone else.
To let go is not to cut myself off, it's the realization I can't control another.
To let go is not to enable, but allow learning from natural consequences.
To let go is to admit powerlessness, which means the outcome is not in my hands.
To let go is not to try to change or blame another, it's to make the most of myself.
To let go is not to care for, but to care about.
To let go is not to fix, but to be supportive.
To let go is not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being.
To let go is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes, but to allow others to affect their destinies.
To let go is not to be protective, it's to permit another to face reality.
To let go is not to deny, but to accept.
To let go is not to nag, scold or argue, but instead to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.
To let go is not to adjust everything to my desires, but to take each day as it comes and cherish myself in it.
To let go is not to criticize or regulate anybody, but to try to become what I dream I can be.
To let go is not to regret the past, but to grow and live for the future.
To let go is to fear less and love more.
Remember: The time to love is short.
(author unknown)


New Member
See, I knew all those yada yada yada's stood for something. Thank you for finding it.
I had that posted on my refrigerator for months, and I looked at it often.
I hope it helps someone else as much as it helped me.