It has taken nearly a decade but with God's help we are finally working on a plan to our end the unhealthy, painful, and financially crippling enabling that we (husband and myself) have participated in with our 26 year old daughter. Some background. We have 2 children. Our son is doing fantastic. Great job and work ethic, soon to be married, responsible. Our daughter is a drug addict and alcoholic (currently sober, because she is 7 1/2 months pregnant), served time in jail for repeated DWI's, recently evicted and living in our basement with her 27 year old unemployed loser boyfriend. She works part-time at a minimum wage job even though she is just 6 credits short of a graduate degree. My mission: To devise a well thought out plan to end our participation in her irresponsible life choices. What's changed: ME! I finally understand that I can not save her. Rehab didn't help. Taking her in didn't help, paying for college didn't help. Nothing has changed in 10 years and I have finally realized that I can't want "it" for her. She has no desire to change because she has never had to change. No matter what crap she's pulled, we always rescue her. My problem(s): Instead of executing this plan while in the middle of a "crisis" or while angry, this plan needs to be well thought out and cannot be executed until my husband and I are 100% committed that no amount of tears or tantrums will cause us to waiver. We need to be ready emotionally to accept the pain that will go along with this plan. Unfortunately, we have the real issue that this decision now includes our soon to be born granddaughter. How can we realistically "evict" our daughter at nearly 8 months pregnant. But then again if we wait, how could we even consider evicting her with a newborn? I don't think having her stay in our home is in our or her best interest. We need distance. From past experience we know that she manipulates us and the closer we are to that, the worse it will be. Also has bad as it sounds, I do not want to raise a new born. But we will. The Plan: 1. Boyfriend is being evicted. We have drafted a 3 day notice to quit. (He is a MASTER manipulator) and will call the police to say he has established residency (even though he has never paid a dime of rent) if he is forced to leave. We have to be prepared legally, we know that. 2. Give our daughter the choice of staying (past 3 days) without him or leaving also. 3. If she decides to leave - stand 100% firm together that she will get no money from us, no matter how painful. Stand 100% firm that when called (not if, when) we will take in our grandchild, and only our grandchild, not her mother or father. 4. If she chooses to stay.... This is where I get stuck.... Can anyone help with this? Thank you.