Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by DammitJanet, Jul 23, 2012.

  1. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I got woke up this morning at 4am after I finally fell asleep at about 3:30 am. Cory was bringing the baby over to put her in my bed. Of course after he had to wake her up, make her a bottle, change her, put her in the car and drive her over to our house, she was wide awake.

    Background. Cory has been the one who has had to get up with this baby since day one. Mandy has never got up with this child. She claims she cant hear her and sleeps right through her crying. This means Cory has to get up however many times the baby cries and then he has to get up to go to work at 4am.

    Mandy was working second shift at a daycare but since school is out she is on first shift. Yesterday she never came home at all. This isnt the first time. It is probably the tenth or more. Cory has missed work a lot because of it. He hates to ask me because I have such a difficult time with the baby because of my medications.

    Well he knew that Mandy would come get the baby this morning because she had to go to work and the baby goes to work with her. I would just have her a few hours.

    Cory is so ticked off. He says he is leaving her and taking the baby. I dont blame him at all. He will get that baby. Mandy's record is as bad as Cory's and what judge is going to give a baby to a mother who cant get up with a baby at night and who doesnt come home at night so she leaves the baby alone? Cory completely takes care of that child. He pays for the daycare. He buys all the diapers, he takes her to the doctor. He is the one who sits up with her when she is sick. Oh Mandy likes to dress her up and buy her tons of shoes but that isnt being a mother. A mother doesnt go out and get drunk and not come home all night so the father can go to work the next day. If I had done that to Tony, he would have been a single father raising 3 boys on his own. And it wouldnt have taken me doing it 10 times! The 2 time and I would have found my stuff on the lawn.

    I know we have said Cory could never come home again but if he leaves Mandy, he has a room waiting for him and the baby. Family is family and this would be that type of emergency. He has grown up so much that we would step in to help him that way.
  2. pinevalley

    pinevalley Member

    Janet; Cory sounds like a wonderful father, and it is clear that he loves his little girl. I will say a prayer that he makes the right decision for both himself and his daughter. HUGS....
  3. 1905

    1905 Well-Known Member

    It's less lonely to be alone, then around someone who is such a negative force. I know being lonely isn't his issue, but it wil be so much easier on him with the frustration and stress of wondering if can go to work is removed. Since he does it all anyway, it'll be a relief not having to argue and her to come home and parent. He has a back up plan. If the baby doesn't have to wake up at 4, both of you will sleep. And Billy can help as well as Tony, it won't all fall on you. He may have to get some legal advice so she doesn't just come over and take her. And who knows what she would do, she isn't wrapped too tight. I hope he can work it out, I'm glad he sees he's got to make a change. (HUGS)
  4. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    I'm with UAN & pine, I really, really hope Cory makes the right decision and sticks to it.

    :hugs: for ALL of you.
  5. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Cory is like Tony, he is giving her rope and letting her hang herself. We just had a visitor who happened to be the girl Mandy was with the night she didnt come home. She said that Mandy was there until 3am and then said she was going home. She was absolutely shocked that she didnt go home! She cant imagine where she went from her house. She actually said she wishes she could meet a good man like Cory, she would snap him up and marry him in a heart beat. She also said she cant understand why Billy isnt married. She said all the good guys arent being snapped up and the losers get the girls....lmao.
  6. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member


    I agree with the others who have said Cory sounds like a great dad! Make sure he covers his bases before he goes, i.e., is he on a lease that can't be broken without being sued, does Mandy have access to his bank accounts (a debit card, etc.), etc. Woman take the children and leave all the time, no reason a man can't. Leave her a note!

  7. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    she doesnt have access to his bank account, she has her own. They are also living in a mobile home that belongs to her family that they were told they could live in rent free if they just fixed it up. I smell a rat there because what happens when Cory puts all the work in and the place is nice? He has been investing tons of drywall and paint and all that stuff every weekend and even after he gets home from work at night.

    Their finances are strange. He is expected to pay all the bills, pay the day care, buy whatever is needed for the baby, pay all his court fines, pay her back if he has to borrow any money(as if that would happen in my world), basically pay for everything except what she deems she will pay for with her check. Now with her check she pays for her car insurance and all her partying and her hair and nails. Also her shopping. She is addicted to getting her hair and nails done every week. Before she got her job, Cory had to do that or she pouted. And sometimes Cory simply didnt have the money and they fought over it big time. That sort of thing really got to her. I am stunned that she makes Cory pay for the day care because the baby goes to the same place she works and they only charge them 10 bucks a day for the baby to be there and they take the money out of Mandy's check but she makes him give her back that money.
  8. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Janet, this has been in the cards for a while now. I hope Cory can make the right decision and stick it out. And I hope that where you are it isn't as tough for a dad to get full custody, regardless of how unmotherly the mother is.

    As per their, not so weird, more old fashioned. It was that way with husband and I. He was responsible for supporting his family totally, that was his job as the man. If I had a job, that money was mine to do with what I wanted. It did not get split. It did not go onto bills unless I decided it did. But I wasn't Mandy either and during hard times my paycheck would often pitch in, the rest went into a rainy day fund. And I worked my fanny off keeping the house in order, the kids in order, husband in order.........and Many has obviously dropped the ball there, so she's not doing her job. Nichole and her husband have their finances set up the same way. Money she earns is hers to do with what she wants, period. But then neither Nichole or I are ones to get our hair & nails done and junk like that either.She's been using her babysitting cash to stock up her new pantry with sale items.

    Sadly, Cory has grown up while Mandy has yet to do so.
  9. Signorina

    Signorina Guest

    I am sorry Janet. I think you are right on track... but I know that it is raising your mama bear hackles and that isn't fun. Especially when you know what's right for your son and grandbaby - yet you also know it needs to be Cory's realization and decision.

    It sounds like he is getting there.

    I hope it works out And I am so glad he and the baby have you to lean and rely upon. I know you worry about your health and caring for Micky - but in my humble opinion - kids know which people in their lives love and care for them unconditionally. Knowing that you are one of those people will be a huge blessing for Mickey as she grows up.
  10. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Well because of my health, if Cory comes here Mickey will have to go to day care everyday but that will be Cory's rent to us. We wont charge him any rent. I am simply not capable of taking care of an active baby all day by myself anymore. My medicine leaves me very weak. Right now I am sleeping almost 18 hours a day and that just wouldnt cut it with a baby. Of course some of this is because of the H pylori medication. It simply wipes me out.