Matt decided that he did not need a program and walked today. He is on the streets. He told another resident that he was going to go do meth. That would be a totally radical deviation from anything he has done before, and I hope it was just bravado. I am not sure of anything at this point. I only know I am numb. If he dies, I know I will want to. I have lost too much, to be able to withstand losing him too. He is the only other living being that I love with my heart and soul - unconditionally. I have no clue what to do. Evidently nothing. It will be his first night on the street, alone. I hope it is a wake up call.