matt is on the streets

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Steely, Mar 10, 2010.

  1. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    Matt decided that he did not need a program and walked today. He is on the streets. He told another resident that he was going to go do meth. That would be a totally radical deviation from anything he has done before, and I hope it was just bravado. I am not sure of anything at this point. I only know I am numb.

    If he dies, I know I will want to. I have lost too much, to be able to withstand losing him too. He is the only other living being that I love with my heart and soul - unconditionally. I have no clue what to do. Evidently nothing.

    It will be his first night on the street, alone. I hope it is a wake up call.
  2. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    Steely, I am so sorry. I hope he is cold and lonely tonight and goes back to program in the morning.
  3. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    Big hugs. I hope he will be well.
  4. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Steely, I'm so sorry. Many hugs.
  5. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Steely, I can not count how many kids on this site have managed to live on the streets and stay safe.
    I am sorry that he has made such a bad decision. Fingers crossed he sees the light and chooses the better path.
  6. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    Steely, I am so sorry to hear of Matt's poor choice. I understand what you are feeling I have been in your place. I never thought my difficult child could survive the streets but he did. Then, when he went to prison I never thought he could survive but he did. As a mother we will worry it comes with the job. But the truth is that many difficult child's fare much better than we would think they could in the worst possible situations. Sometimes they have to get lost to find their way. I hope that is the case for your son and he is just cooling his heels and will get back to working his program in the morning. -RM
  7. Estherfromjerusalem

    Estherfromjerusalem Well-Known Member

    Steely, I'm thinking of you. Hope Matt comes to his senses quickly. Please let us know as soon as you hear from him.


    Love, Esther
  8. gottaloveem

    gottaloveem Active Member

    sending supportive hugs your way. i know you must be worried sick. i hope this is rock bottom for him and he finds a desire to change.

  9. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    {{{Steely}}} Many gentle and supportive hugs for your hurting heart; I know how afraid and disappointed you feel. Praying that Matt wakes up today feeling alone and finds his way back to the shelter.
  10. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    From one mother's heart to another's - prayers and hugs.

  11. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Well, lets hope all the druggy talk is just bravado. Probably is. Be pretty hard for a kid who just left a treatment center and was trying to be homeless for the first time to actually find a meth dealer who would trust him. At least at first.

    Lets hope Matt gets a bit cold and hungry before that happens and he decides to go back. Or maybe he finds a youth hostel, finds a job and turns his life around on his own. Been known to happen.
  12. missy44

    missy44 New Member

    I'm so sorry for what you're going through. I would "do anything" to get these nasty drugs off the street. At least our kids would have a fighting chance and possibly make better choices in life.

    I sincerely hope that the "drug reference" was made for shock value only.
  13. Star*

    Star* call 911


    I understand...I'm heart to yours - Hugs.
  14. CrazyinVA

    CrazyinVA Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'm sorry too, Steely. As rm said, some of these kids turn out to be pretty strong street survivors, so he may surprise you even as he is breaking your heart. Prayers going up for you and Matt from this corner.
  15. helpme

    helpme New Member

    I will be praying with all fingers and toes crossed for you.
    I wish I could send you a magical wand, I truly do.
  16. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Steely, while you are in this crisis period with Matt, I hope you can maybe reach out to someone...anyone...maybe someone from the program or a therapist to help you stay on an even keel. You need to keep yourself strong and centered so you dont go off the deep end.

    Find some coping strategies for yourself that can bring you back to a somewhat calm state because you can do no one any good if you get sicker. Dont even think about dying! People need you girl.
  17. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    I'm sorry, Steely; I've also been there. Rob also walked out of a program, got fired from his job in less than 90 days and was homeless for over a year. It's terrifying when our "babies" are OUT THERE with seemingly nothing to lean on. When Rob and I talked about it a couple of years ago, he said that he needed to go through it to move ahead at all and that there was nothing I could have done to prevent it or assist him since he was determined to be FREE.

    It cost me my 25 year marriage, way of life, future security, and almost my relationship with my son. Believe me, I understand loss and the collateral damage. But I survived- you need to be determined to survive, too.

    Go ahead and cry and pray and hope that he's safe and that he comes to his senses. Mine did; I hope yours does, too.

    Last edited: Mar 11, 2010
  18. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    Hugs. I agree with DJ, find someone to lean on, we are here on the board but at times like this you may need much more......I know I do and have many times. I hope he goes back, and I cannot even imagine what you must be going through. Prayers and vibes coming your way, and Matt's way too.
  19. judi

    judi Active Member

    So sorry! been there done that unfortunately like so many of us.
  20. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    I am sending you lots of HUGS, Steely. I know how it hurts when our children make awful choices. I, too, hope that the meth statement was for shock value.