missing assignments

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by crazymama30, Sep 30, 2009.

  1. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    difficult child can have 3 different types of assignments on his missing assignment reports. Missing assignments (have not turned in anything) Incomplete(turned in but not finished) and wips(work in progress--is done but can be improved).

    difficult child has 2 wips, 1 incomplete, and 1 missing. He was supposed to bring it home yesterday, but forgot. Originally said he had no missing assignments so he did not need to bring it home. I told him I needed to see it no matter what, and that if he did not bring it home today I would go to school with him tommorrow and get it then. To his credit he did bring it home today.

    I told him he has untill next week to get the missing and incomplete assignments done and then I will go and be sure he has the stuff and he can go to the homework club they have after school so he has a good work place and help available.

    According to difficult child he does not have to redo the wips, he can if he wants and he does not want to. I do not agree with that decision, but am not sure if I should badger him into redoing--I really don't know if that would be worth it. It would be a major fight. I am seeing him be a little more violent (not at me, but at objects) and easier to anger. I am leary of going to the school because of this also, especially after he punched the car window last week.

    I am going to talk to psychiatrist and therapist about this issue. The anger thing is only directed at me, not his father or sister or aunt or anyone at the school as far as I know. I think some of it is that he is fighting for more independence and I am trying to give it to him, but it scares me at the same time. Dad has been doing pretty poorly lately, and I wonder if that has something to do with difficult child's behavior.

    He saw therapist today and she said he is doing great. Sometimes I want to tell her of course he is doing great, he is the only kid in the room and he has your undivided attention! I do think that therapist has been beneficial, but sometimes she just does not get it.
  2. flutterby

    flutterby Fly away!

    I've thought about this for a while and if it were me, I would focus on the missing and incomplete and basket B the wips. The wips to me seems like micromanaging.
  3. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not


    If the teacher has left the wips as "optional"--there is no way in this world you will convince a difficult child to re-do them. Likewise, if difficult child feels that the homework or other assignments will have no impact on his grade--he will give you a hard time about completing them.

    My frustration with these homework battles is that I was the one battling, I was the one requiring all these assignments to get done, I was the one following up with the teachers and picking up books and worksheets from school--and then difficult child was the one who ended up with the "A"....and I didn't even get so much as a Thank You! Just more attitude 'cause now, see? she has all good grades so what's my problem?

    I decided that I don't need to work so hard to earn difficult child's grades for her...

    If she wants to pass her classes--she can work hard herself.

    Good luck!

  4. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    I told difficult child that the incomplete and missing assignment were to be gone by next week's missing assignment report, and if they weren't then I would go to school with him and help him. He is going through a very independent stage and does not want any help from me, so I have been giving him chances to do things on his own and so far he has been doing well. We will see about this one.

    I think the wips are a lost cause. I like the option, but it is not one difficult child will choose.
  5. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I don't think would force the wips issue either. I would focus on the incomplete and missing. Perhaps tell him, after school today during a good molment, that you have set aside 30 minutes on Saturday morning and 30 minutes on Saturday afernoon for him to complete the work. Don't threaten with punishments or consequenses, just state as fact. If he questions what time, come up with a convenient time, say 10-10:30 and 2-2:30. See what he can accomplish in an hour. Provide him with a quiet place - free of home distractions.

    Perhaps putting minimal time requirements, like 30 minutes, won't overwhelm him. Let him choose what order the assignments are going to be done in or perhaps even the 30 minute chunk of time; if you feel those decisions will make him feel like he has some control and therefor more likely to comply. Just a thought.