Mothers Day with difficult child#1

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by muttmeister, May 12, 2008.

  1. muttmeister

    muttmeister Well-Known Member

    Mothers Day has been one of my least favorite holidays ever since I had kids. My relationship with my kids has not been something to celebrate. In fact, my mother was talking with my aunt last week and the aunt said that she was glad I was enjoying my grandkids because she thought I reallly didn't enjoy my kids very much.:pouting: What was to enjoy? I feel like I was living with :devil2: for all of those years.

    However, maybe there is hope for some of us. difficult child#2 and grandkids are gone to visit daughter-in-law's family in OK. So difficult child#1 invited us (Me and my mother) to his place for the big day. His girlfriend is not on good terms with her mother and her dad sexually abused her when she was little so she really has no family to invite. She does have two daughters, ages 2 and 7. I've only been to their place (110 miles away) once before so I wasn't sure what to expect, except that difficult child is doing MUCH BETTER than he's ever done in his life before. So we got there and he greeted us at the door wearing a shirt and tie. The little girls were all dressed up cute. His girlfriend was dressed nicely; she had made wonderful twice baked potatoes and a veggie and difficult child barbecued steaks for us. Then we sat around and visited (this from a kid who thought I was too stupid to communicate with for at least 20 years of his life). Eventually difficult child and I went to where he works (BUilders Warehouse: it is like HOme Depot or Lowes) and helped me pick out two new windows for my sun room. He loaded them into the car and we went back to their place. For supper he drove us to a wonderful local Mexican restaurant and we ate there, in spite of the fact that I really didn't need to eat again. He had two drinks so he had me drive them back home: he says at his new job he will get fired if he has a DUI and they have random drug tests so there will be no pot smoking either. He is happy with his job and does not want to mess it up. We didn't start home till about 8:30 and I have to say, it was a wonderful day. He was kind, considerate, he made sensible conversation, and not a harsh word was spoken all day. I think maybe he was cloned by aliens but that's OK, I'll take it.
    Just thought those of you who had a not-so-good day might like to hear that difficult children can sometimes straighten out. Those of you who have been here for a long time know that none of us held much hope of him ever doing anything except spending time in jail. He was definitely a hard case and there were days I wasn't sure I'd live long enough to see him grow up. I was even afraid for awhile that he might come in in the night and murder me in my bed. He was not a borderline case. But, right now, I'm happy and proud to be his mother.

    Now, if I could just do something about the other one.......:tongue:
  2. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    :faint: that I've picked myself up......


    Nan, I am positively THRILLED for you..........and HIM!!! It sounds like a terrific day.


  3. Abbey

    Abbey Spork Queen

    Just thought those of you who had a not-so-good day might like to hear that difficult children can sometimes straighten out.

    What a wonderful update on difficult child. There IS hope. It sounds like he actually has a real life.

    Hopefully the other one will come around.

  4. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    The VERY BEST Mother's Day gift is what you just received. WOW - and I haven't been here long enough to know the entire story but I still LOVE happy chapters.
  5. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Isn't it astouding what maturity and the love of two good women in his life can do? (you and new love girlfriend)

    I'm so thrilled difficult child is doing so well and seems so happy. Also thrilled you had an amazing Mother's Day. Wowsers. difficult child has come so far!

  6. uncheerleader

    uncheerleader Pollyanna

    Reading your post brought tears to my eyes!! :9-07tears:(and I DO NOT cry easily).

    I am so happy for you! Now you can see all your hard work, pain and anguish over the years were for just this. To see him grow and become who he is. I'm sure there is more of his journey ahead for him.

    But most of all I can see hope for my difficult child as well. There are so many posts that make me feel sometimes that this will be his life forever.

    Now I read this, and I can see that someday, my boy can be the man that I wished for him on the day he was born.:happy-very:

    Thank you, thank you, for telling us about it.
  7. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    Yeah for you. Even more yeahs for difficult child. I'm glad he has decided to step up and be a man. There is hope.
  8. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Wooohooo! Im so happy for you Nan. Sometimes they do grow up to surprise us.
  9. Nomad

    Nomad Guest

    Thank you for sharing this great news!!!! :smiles:
  10. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Oh WOW! I am so very happy for you. It just is amazing the turnaround!

    I think this is truly one of hte best Mother's Day presents I have ever heard of.

    I am so happy for you, it sounds as though maybe now you can develop a good relationship with him and really ENJOY him.

    Happy Mothers Day!


    SONS GONE WILD Moms goin' crazy

    Ditto, ditto, ditto!!! Great for you and difficult child!