My crazy cousin, Part 2

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by TerryJ2, Dec 16, 2009.

  1. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Some of you may recall my rants about my crazy cousin in NY. She is now 81, and has fallen 4 X in the past yr and 1/2.
    She has broken her tailbone and her hip, and refused to do any physical therapy, leaving the hospital b4 her checkout, and refusing to let in the Soc Wkr, to assign a home PT. Now, she's got permanent nerve damage and is addicted to oxycodone.
    She is bedridden.
    She finally got smart and let me fly up to visit her on her last hospital visit, and get POA and hire a home health svc.
    She's got lots of $, plus Medicare, so that part is fine.
    She'll last about 2-3 yrs on the $ she has, with-o having to dip into my inheritance. (Yes, she has left me something. And yes, I can use it for her if I need to.)
    She has always been needy and high strung, and an actress, to boot. I never know when she's truly in pain, or just doing her normal histrionics.
    Two wks ago, she even called me one day because she was constipated and wanted someone to remove the material manually. I'm supposed to take care of this long-distance? Why didn't her caregiver call the svc and get a nurse out there? OMG.
    Last wk, she had a Urinary Tract Infection (UTI), as well as very low sodium, and went totally wiggy. She was paranoid, did not know she was in her own home, and hated everyone except me. I basically said yes to everything and just listened. To keep myself from going insane along with-her, I pretended she had written a stage play and was telling me the plot.
    The good part is that she is making noises about moving down here, which I have tried to do for the past 3 yrs. She would hate the facility but she's at the point where she hates her own bedroom, so she realizes there is nothing there for her any more. If she were here, I would be able to visit several times a week, and maybe even get her into a wheelchair. That will be my January project (although it can take up to 6 mo's to change Medicare to another state).
    Typically, she calls 5X and day and doesn't shut up, but with-the medications, she runs out of steam and only calls 2 or 3X and then falls asleep halfway through the conversation.
    Her handyman is now her evening companion but they started to drive one another crazy so I took him down to 5 nights a wk. He charges less than the "professionals," anyway. I can't understand half of what they say--the professionals or the handyman--because they're foreign born, so it's hard to get a grip on the info. The handyman lost his green card and is working on getting it back (his ex wife hates him and wrote to the immigration people, blah blah blah). Lots of drama everywhere.
    P loves her handyman because he stayed in her apt for 3 nights after he last fall and found an old bedpan in the closet. He finally called me because he realized it was hopeless, and she needed help.
    Oh well. Lots more stories, but just wanted to vent.
    I haven't told her much about difficult child ... she's got her own drama.
    I need a break.
    Thanks for listening.:whiteflag:
  2. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green


    It's good that she's finally admitting she needs help and it's good that she's thinking of moving to where you are. That will get her more help and it will be easier for you to help her.

    With that said however (and slightly tongue in cheek)....are you SURE you want her nearby? Won't she expect you to come running every time she calls?

    Good luck though. I hope it works out in the best way for both of you.
  3. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    are you SURE you want her nearby? Won't she expect you to come running every time she calls?

    Of CURSE! Oh, I mean, of COURSE, LOL!
    That's what my husband is worried about.
    And that's what Caller ID is for. ;)