I don't write to often, it's been a long time. Especially something like this. I've been around since my 15 y/o was probably around 7 or 8.
My oldest is 21 now, has been depressed for years. He had several bad incidents with injuries, knee (hit by a car, acl surgery) then his arm (put it thru the window almost died then.) he cut major artery, major nerve (one that controls when you flex your hand), lots of damage done. Lost a lot of use, can hardly hold pen, etc. So that made depression worse. He is in pain most of the time, when he isout of his pain medications, he self medicates, etc. Can't find a job, trying to get back into school program, there was a deter in that and just made things worse, but he can go back in Sept. for this program but you know what it's like to talk to these kids, they think if it's not happening right now then it never will.
Well to make long story short and I won't go into details only because of the internet stuff. We helped out this friend of his about a year ago, told us his step dad beat him up. My son felt bad, asked to let him stay here. For our kindness he stole some things cost over $300 worth of stuff. Anyway I was going to press charges, my son did not want me to. Went to boys house, mom agreed to pay. She only gave me about $75 worth, then when step-dad got out of jail, I found out they are both druggies. She then told me she didn't have to pay me crap anymore. So all these kids kept telling me not to file charges on him because he had such a bad life, et. So I didn't. Fast foward almost a year, my son sees this boy at a house he was invited into. He asked him why he didn't pay, boy got confrontational, there was a fight, kid was pretty messed up. But son was scared because he can't really defend himself due to his arm injury. But they were both messed up I'm sure you all know what I mean.
Well anyway my son was arrested for attempted murder and several other charges. I've been crying for 4 days straight now. He has bail, which I am scrounging to get up. I hired a private atty. so you know that's more money. I'm sick over this. It's like my heart just broke into tiny million pieces. I'm not condoning what happened, but I swear every time I do something nice for someone, I am always the one who suffers in the long run. I just can't even describe in words how I feel right now. He was sent to the detntion center because I couldn't post bail at midmnight last night, of course their Visa machine was down, now I have to beg, borrow and scrap together what I can to get him out on bail. He will not run, he knows not to. This is really bad, he has somewhat of a record, but one when he was 14, then another which was thrown out for insufficient evidence. That's it, nothing else on his record. But he does have one,so maybe with this that is why they let him get out on bail, I don't know.
I'm sick. I just happened to take off a few days to visit with a friend from out of town and look what happens. I believe it was God's will this happened when she was here, she went all over the place with me on her vacation! I also had to put my cat down, he was diagnosis'd with feline leukemia, yes on the same day my son had to surrender himself. Oops here I go again, crying that's all I do.
I just beg you all to keep me in your prayers. I am almost ready to break down. I cannot sleep, I cannot eat. I'm sick, sick, with him, the cat, everything, my visit with my friend that wasn't really a visit and who knows when we will see each other again. It's been 5 years since the last time.
I just don't know how I'm going to make it thru all this.
My oldest is 21 now, has been depressed for years. He had several bad incidents with injuries, knee (hit by a car, acl surgery) then his arm (put it thru the window almost died then.) he cut major artery, major nerve (one that controls when you flex your hand), lots of damage done. Lost a lot of use, can hardly hold pen, etc. So that made depression worse. He is in pain most of the time, when he isout of his pain medications, he self medicates, etc. Can't find a job, trying to get back into school program, there was a deter in that and just made things worse, but he can go back in Sept. for this program but you know what it's like to talk to these kids, they think if it's not happening right now then it never will.
Well to make long story short and I won't go into details only because of the internet stuff. We helped out this friend of his about a year ago, told us his step dad beat him up. My son felt bad, asked to let him stay here. For our kindness he stole some things cost over $300 worth of stuff. Anyway I was going to press charges, my son did not want me to. Went to boys house, mom agreed to pay. She only gave me about $75 worth, then when step-dad got out of jail, I found out they are both druggies. She then told me she didn't have to pay me crap anymore. So all these kids kept telling me not to file charges on him because he had such a bad life, et. So I didn't. Fast foward almost a year, my son sees this boy at a house he was invited into. He asked him why he didn't pay, boy got confrontational, there was a fight, kid was pretty messed up. But son was scared because he can't really defend himself due to his arm injury. But they were both messed up I'm sure you all know what I mean.
Well anyway my son was arrested for attempted murder and several other charges. I've been crying for 4 days straight now. He has bail, which I am scrounging to get up. I hired a private atty. so you know that's more money. I'm sick over this. It's like my heart just broke into tiny million pieces. I'm not condoning what happened, but I swear every time I do something nice for someone, I am always the one who suffers in the long run. I just can't even describe in words how I feel right now. He was sent to the detntion center because I couldn't post bail at midmnight last night, of course their Visa machine was down, now I have to beg, borrow and scrap together what I can to get him out on bail. He will not run, he knows not to. This is really bad, he has somewhat of a record, but one when he was 14, then another which was thrown out for insufficient evidence. That's it, nothing else on his record. But he does have one,so maybe with this that is why they let him get out on bail, I don't know.
I'm sick. I just happened to take off a few days to visit with a friend from out of town and look what happens. I believe it was God's will this happened when she was here, she went all over the place with me on her vacation! I also had to put my cat down, he was diagnosis'd with feline leukemia, yes on the same day my son had to surrender himself. Oops here I go again, crying that's all I do.
I just beg you all to keep me in your prayers. I am almost ready to break down. I cannot sleep, I cannot eat. I'm sick, sick, with him, the cat, everything, my visit with my friend that wasn't really a visit and who knows when we will see each other again. It's been 5 years since the last time.
I just don't know how I'm going to make it thru all this.
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