Nancy, any news?

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Fran, Aug 5, 2010.

  1. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    Just wondering if you have heard from the inpatient people or difficult child?
  2. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Thanks for asking Fran.

    I talked to the doctor who was doing her assesment and gave him a lot of background info. He said she was a classic alcoholic. Then her counselor called me yesterday to report that difficult child was participating in group and was doing ok but had a lot of work to do. She has made friends with some of the other girls around her age. The counselor seems very nice but no pushover. I think difficult child has met her match with her and won't get away with anything. She promised to keep in touch and said she didn't want us to come to this Sunday's family program because she wants difficult child to have a few more days to get acclimated. That was music to my ears. We are going up for visiting hours on Saturday.

    At about 11pm difficult child called. She had to use her friend's phone card because she used the money we gave her for a phone card to buy cigarettes. She seemed to be doing well and was resigned to being there. She said they told her she would be there for 90 days. We only signed up for the 30 day program and don't have the funds for 90 days, but obviously they feel she needs it. We are waiting for them to approach us with this information. difficult child said she was in the detox unit for 3 days and would be moving to her room today. She must have been much worse off than we knew because they originally didn't think she needed more than one day in detox. She must have been drinking much longer than we knew. She gave us a list of things she wants us to bring her.

    The past few days have been so relaxing and we have been able to sleep through the night. It's so nice not to be afraid to answer the phone or read my texts. I could get use to this life.

  3. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    Nancy, I'm so glad they told you to not go to family counseling yet. I think giving her time to see life differently without parents is a good thing. Enjoy every minute of the peace and quiet.
    She is a piece of work. Wait until her new friends realize that she is using them for their phone card so she can have cigarettes.
  4. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I don't think they care. Most of them are in for heroin. She just used one minute anyway because we call her back when she calls so its our dime. She was so out of it when she went she never even considered not having money for cigs lol. Hey she may as well quit those too.

  5. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    Glad to hear that she is doing well, Nancy. As a reformed smoker, I have to say that if it keeps her in treatment for the alcoholism, I'd buy her smokes. It's much harder to kick than alcohol. It's a good thing that no one is jumping ahead to the 90 day program yet. That day will come, this is no time to sweat it. Enjoy your peace and quiet.
  6. dashcat

    dashcat Member

    This is great news! Enjoy the peace. I wish her well and hope she finds her way.
  7. CrazyinVA

    CrazyinVA Well-Known Member Staff Member

    It's been my experience that many recovering alcoholics smoke a LOT :) It's hard to give up two addictions at once. I'm glad she seems to be adjusting, and resigned to staying there. I imagine you're sleeping better these days!
  8. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    This is good news and I think the others have a good idea about the smokes.
  9. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    From what I have heard, very few reputable rehabs encourage stopping smoking/tobacco use at the same time as stopping the use of alcohol or other substances. It is just too hard and makes the likelihood of lasting recovery from the substance/alcohol almost nil. I thought detox would be a really good time for gfgbro to stop using tobacco (he used several forms) but it is highly discouraged.
  10. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    I agree about the smokes, too.

    Hey, when are you and husband leaving for Vegas? Are you counting the minutes?

  11. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Yeah I don't have a problem with the smokes, I bought her a carton. I just think it's funny that she expects us to pay for them and gave no thought to making sure she had enough when she went it.

    I'll let you know how tomorrow visiting goes.

  12. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    You could have bribed me to do just about anything for a smoke when I was her age... :(
  13. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I hope this works. Im ready to do almost anything for a pack of cigs right now myself!!!
  14. Star*

    Star* call 911

    Hey Nancy,

    Glad to see difficult child is somewhere that she can get herself some help. As far as her laundry list of "bring me" I think I'd tell her - "I'm busy" and let it go at that. The carton of cigarettes was a great gesture on your part, but then to make demands of I need this, bring me that? been there done that with rehab people and well - You do what ya want or makes you feel good at the time; but if hindsite is 20/20? I'd unplugged my phone and enjoyed my 'vacation'.

    My love to you all - You deserve peace and joy.
  15. katya02

    katya02 Solace

    Hi Nancy, I hope you're still enjoying the peace and quiet (and better sleep). I agree with Star about trying to get together lists of stuff that difficult child says she wants .... if it makes you happy to do it, do it for your own benefit. If you have something else to do? It might be a good thing for difficult child to realize that, well, you have something else to do. If she got angry enough to bring it up with her counselor it would open the door to some work she needs to do.