Need help from NJ residents

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by sunr, May 26, 2009.

  1. sunr

    sunr New Member


    I live in NJ (Princeton area) and I have some series issues with my 16 year older son(difficult child) . He has developed ODD, very defiant, experimenting with drugs, not going to school, very disrespectful etc. He is extremely harsh on me and to a lesser extent with my wife. I also have a 11 year old boy (easy child) and no harm to him physically but he is seeing what his brother is doing and emotionally very upset.

    We have called cops few times when things escalated and my difficult child is not perturbed at all. He gets even more angrier with me. At this time my main concern is that my difficult child is treated for drugs as well as calmed down as he is going way out of control and pretty much ruining the home keeping us hostage. My wife doesn't want to call cops to take him to a treatment center and he will not come voluntarily. She is going through mental breakdown and cannot think rationally. Check mate.

    Are there any organizations (other than police) that would force him to take my son for treatment? does anybody know about DYFAS. I am considering contacting NJ child welfare officials for help with difficult child before he becomes a problem with my easy child. I am concerned about calling them as they may think that my easy child is at risk and may take him away. I want to do the following

    1. Get some medication for my difficult child. He was prescribed Prozac but he stopped taking it after couple of weeks
    2. Get tested and treated for drugs
    3. Somehow make him go to school regularly (not sure how)
    4. Make sure he doesn't go out on his will and do drugs etc and come back at odd hours
    5. Look for a boarding school (therapeutic or military) and forcefully put him there (looks like this needs lot of education on my part)

    If somebody has a list of organizations/procedures/experience without going to the police, please do advice me through private message.

    Going crazy. Any support is very highly appreciated.
  2. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    Many police departments have a Crisis Intervention Team, which is trained to handle mental health crises. You might want to call your local police department (routine number) and ask about the options for transporting your difficult child to a mental health facility. Are there any dual-diagnosis (mental illness and substance abuse) facilities in your area? That might be where he needs to go for a full evaluation and initial treatment.

    Personally, I wouldn't be worrying about school all that much right now. He needs treatment above all else. And any facility that offers treatment should have an academic component. A helpful book to read on the process of selecting a therapeutic program is What Now? by Paul Case. Case, by the way, says military schools are among the worst to treat kids like this because they don't get at the root cause of the problem.

    Hang in there.
  3. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member Staff Member

    This is the website for Value Options in NJ. At the upper left hand corner is a phone number. Call them and discuss the issues. This is a free service. I had a real psychologist come to my house and help me two hours a week with my daughter. She was wonderful.
  4. recovering doormat

    recovering doormat Lapsed CDer

    I would also stay away from military schools and anything labelled as a "boot camp." for many kids, there is an underlying psychological issue that is causing them to self medicate with drugs and display antisocial behavior. I agree that a good diagnostic program and recommendations for treatment are more important than school. He can make up school later.