Need more advice on daughter now! Son's grades better and trying to answer questions!

[Confused]

Ok, you all said from the beginning to have my daughter tested possibility a form of Autism, my son too. But I just dont see that in my son.. he is being tested for everything anyway slowly but surely.His teacher ended up not giving all 0's for his missing assignments and gave multiple 50's which helped him. He has no F's-Has One A, B, C's and D's! Im happier! She said over the weeks he is trying harder in the classroom and this week esp. Well, he been on Adderall Xr this week... some of last! Sooo, guess it is helping She said they will all continue to work with him, yes they WILL follow any IEPS or anything to help!!!She thinking he just lazy now and it was because he heard my dad say we might pull him out to go to public. She keeps saying how bright he is!!!! I don't know, either way, something and everything is starting to work for school! Still anger issues tho at home.

Ok, my daughter... ::13 years old now( Im making new Sig but no Idea what to put yet!!!)
She is still sooooo quite at school
Barely talks and participates but loves speaking in front of the Church is proud when she does.
Does not run around like other 8th graders.. just reading, playing games, on her phone texting...
Doesnt like her hair in pony tails, just flat and long for many years.
Bathing she wants to every other day if I get on her and she could go longer- But honestly doesnt wash right( dirt still there)
Even when warm, wears her sweatshirt at school
Doesnt smile there OR even most stores... but is more relaxed at stores...
Everyone is so poud of her grades, her accomplishments but still extremely worried on her lack of communication and smile.
She does have scabs on her cuz she scratched bug bites, picks pimples/scrapes..maybe thats why at school she dresses covered up..home/stores its shorts and tshirts
Doesnt mind crowds, even if wall to wall people, but just doesnt want to speak
Wants dress up halloween yearly but never wears full costume or hides it under clothes...never liked makeup..Yes wears fake tatoos
When home is more outgoing, does play outside with neighbors kids,, does actually smile more( very little but more) and does actually talk more esp to me, my dad and when fights with her brother.. well you know it!!! Loud and fights back!!!
Cant compare her to anyone or anything. takes severe offense and NEVER forgets it
If someone offends her.. thats it for life!!! She doesnt want anything more to do with them.. kids or adults
Tramatic Dentist event holding her down at a year old and when they gave her a crown.. no other issues, same caregivers always.. no abuse
Hates taking medications even for allergies... really fights us
Doesnt seem depressed, still doing same things for years, Im keeping close eye in case
Most punishments for her was/is raising our voice, she'd cry and end of situation
Doesnt really get into trouble just occasional slipping on H.W and lots fighting back w brother
Says she plans on High School and College just doesnt know where or what yet!!!Plans on License...!!!


***born 1 week early? Suctioned out stayed in ICU 9 days for Hematoma but didnt leak into her brain. Went back cat scan at 4 months old and Hematoma completely gone. Walking just a little behind.. month or two?, smiling, playing, speech , hugging us, kissing us -us kisses to her etc all normal.. speech improved when she played with other kids of course.. Did have eye infection, a couple ear infections as a baby/toddler. Acid reflux and Colic. Tantrums yes, not nearly as bad as my son ( I thought hers were bad boy was I wrong) but she was completely spoiled!!!! She was "shy" but thats it.. Pre-K "shy" but played great with kids!! Kinder is when she started turning more quite and by 1st no more kisses, hardly hugs etc. I know she has emotions cuz when I was crying she came to me and barley puts her arm around me and says it will be ok. Thats rare tho.

How can I get her tested because she is sooo sensitive being accused of having something wrong with her. I said ooo what fun her brother had with EEG I like to see the waves we should all go!!! She seemed to get upset and have anxiety!!! She says she doesnt want or need to talk to anyone she is quite thats all. Do I want something to be wrong her she asks...

Any Ideas? I know I told her we all go to family Counseling to learn how to get along better and techniques for my son and she said shes not going!!! I was going to get her checked by that person without her realizing but shes gonna find out that its for her too...

 

[InsaneCdn]

What is it with girls and their "allergy" to labels?!?!
It's not about having something WRONG with you... it's about finding out what makes you DIFFERENT. As some Aspies say... "I'm not weird, I'm just wired differently".

 

[BusynMember]

Why don't you take her to a neuropsychologist and see what he says? All we can do is guess. We're just parents and it's hard to tell by what you are telling us. Could be Aspergers...???? If she is doing well in school, doesn't seem depressed, and seems mentally ok, I don't know that it's important. It's when our kids are unhappy and/or failing at life that most of us get upset.

Aspergers in girls is different than in boys, but since she's already doing well in school and talks when she is not threatened about talking and has some friends, even if she has Aspergers, who cares? The lack of facial expression could mean Aspergers, but it doesn't sound like it is making her unhappy...just my thoughts by the way, kids on the spectrum have the same range of emotions as all people do. Certain autistics just appear very stoic, even when they are happy or sad. My son is sort of like that, although he can be VERY animated as well.

 

[Confused]

InsaneCdn- I agree!!! Girls are more sensitive to labels! I like that saying

MidwestMom- Well, I always thought Shy-extremely shy, then anxiety but figured as long as shes doing well, its fine! But, I am worried to because I just want to make sure shes happy plus make sure if theres anything can make her feel more comfortable I can do that for her. Its mainly teachers, some parents, and family/neighbors who constantly make comments how much their worried about her, shes not social, she cant make it in life if she can't talk to people. My grandpa says shes ungrateful cuz shes been wanting a dog since my sisters dog died( dog lived here) for a few years now. She is very frustrated and just keeps saying she wants the dog and he can take her car money( he saved money for a car for her- but cant have a car till 16 anyways) and she wants the dog instead. Well, shes a child and I agree with her!!! Job wise, I am going back to substitute until I get my degree in it and something else.

I know, Im still gonna sneak her in because I just want to feel at ease shes not depressed for any reason!

 

[InsaneCdn]

If she is doing well in school, doesn't seem depressed, and seems mentally ok, I don't know that it's important.

It may not be important now, but it WILL be important later.

 

[BusynMember]

Maybe. I know Aspies who are doing fine and got diagnosed in their 40's. If she can hold a job and go to college and is not depressed, it may be very hard to get a diagnosis, even if she has Aspergers. I think maybe taking social skills classes could help, with or without the label, but she has to want them. She may be one of those ASDers who is pretty happy with her life and not interested in having a lot of friends. It sounds like she will be able to live independently too. At any rate, the option to go to a neuropsychologist is always there.