Need some advice for my 6 year old with ADHD and ODD.

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Lori S., May 25, 2011.

  1. Lori S.

    Lori S. New Member

    I'm at my wits end with my daughter. when she gets mad lately she's been biting. Got a call from the principal yesterday stating this is the third time and am going to suspend her. But now he's waiting until thursday to do it because today is her kindergarten promotion. I asked why are you waiting until the last day, she's not going to remember or understand why she's being suspended.
    This has been going on all year. She doesnt listen to anybody and their idea of discipline is taking her work with her and going and sitting in the principals office. She's been in there most of the year.
    She bit a child because the teacher asked him to pick up pegs and she didnt want them picked up and the teacher was standing right there. I asked her why she didnt remove her from the situation when you saw she was getting mad. She didnt answer me. I dont know what else to do. I discipline her at home and she tries to get away with it at home but I dont let her. when she acts bad at school she gets her priviledges taken away at home. But thats not helping at school itself.
  2. keista

    keista New Member


    Des she have an IEP? If not, it seems ad if she needs one. Obviously she has issues that are driving her behavior. An IEP team can help identify those issues and create accomodations/strategies t deal with them BEFORE your child end up in the Principal's office..........again.

    Unfortunately, administrators never seem to care WHY a child does something, just WHAT they did, and suspensions, detentions etc, help curb that in "normal" kids - enter IEP for a different approach to discipline.

    Many more will come by with questions and guidance.

    Stick around, I've found this forum to be invaluable as a resource and "sanity minder" for myself.
  3. Lori S.

    Lori S. New Member

    Thank you, but how do I start the IEP process? To my understanding if a child was not having any academic problems then an IEP wasnt needed. By the way, I have two kids with ADHD. But my 6 year old is the only one with ODD. They are both on Focalin XR with the 6 year old being on a higher dose than my son who is 11.
    Last edited: May 25, 2011
  4. keista

    keista New Member

    If she has ADHD, It is my understanding that that alone will get you at least a 504 plan. I'm definitely not an expert in the area (struggle with my own all the time) But I don't see how a child who spends so much time acting out and in the principal's office wouldn't be struggling academically. There is also another plan - I don't know what it's called exactly - that can just focus on behavior and implementing a different discipline approach since, obviously, this is not working.

    You can talk to the guidance counselor at the school, and ask what your options are. Many schools are gunshy about even hinting about problems and diagnosis's. Offering IEP or 504 information can be construed as them making the diagnosis so they wait for you to ask. You can also try finding parent support groups in your area and see what assistance and resources they have.

    More members should stop by and offer their insights. If not, try posting in the General Parenting or the Special Education 101 forums.
  5. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Hello Laurie and welcome!

    I agree waiting until the last day is not going to have much of an impact. You are right that she isn't even going to remember why she is being suspended.

    I think if I were you I would request an iep. However, if you request it now you might not get people that really know her working on the iep because it is summer so it might be worth starting right when the school year starts.

    Usually when someone first joins our site we have lots of questions so we can be more helpful.

    What type of doctor diagnosed the ADHD and ODD? If she has not seen a child psychiatrist and a neuropsychologist I would recommend both because both will be able to give you lots of information.

    Sorry about the biting stage. My difficult child definitely went through that and it was not fun!

    I'm so glad you found our corner of the world, sorry you needed to. You will find much support here.

    I am going to move this post over to the general forum because you are likely to get more responses over there. Hugs.
  6. ready2run

    ready2run New Member

    i have no idea how it works in the US but my difficult child is violent towards others and himself and for that alone he was given a teachers aid to supervise him and protect the other kids from him. and that was before he had a diagnosis. you need to go to the school and demand a meeting with the Special Education people, also call the school board and talk to someone higher up and get them involved in helping you solve the situation. the teacher should be stepping in but you also have to realize the teacher has x amount of other students to look after and can't focus on your child all the time and also, teacher(at least here) are not allowed to physically step in and move a child away from someone. i would also tell the school that your child is special needs and at this age suspending her won't have any affect on her behavior and refuse to allow them to do it. IEP's are not only for kids who are having trouble learning. they are for behaviour problems too. since it has gone this far without the school or teacher offering services or suggesting them at least you will probably have to fight them for them.
  7. exhausted

    exhausted Active Member

    Hello and welcome.
    I'm sorry about your daughter's school experience-it certainly has not been productive. When I was a special educator a number of years ago, I did teach kindergarten and 1st grade children with disabilities. Children who are still biting at this age may have communication issues, they don't have the words or the words quickly enough to express their frustration. An IEP comes after an evaluation and yes there needs to be a delay in academic achievement. A BIP for behavior accompanies any IEP where there are behavioral goals. Children with ADHD often qualify for 504 plans that provide for accomodations for your child. In all cases you will need an evaluation-the 504 requires a diagnosis. Another route is through the speech therapist. If she is delayed with her language skills, which is not just speech sounds, but the syntax, sentence and vocabulary development, she can also qualify for an IEP. Sometimes these children do develop learning disabilities over time-not always.( some here will recommend looking into a neuropsychologist evaluation and looking at a disorder along the autistic spectrum if she has language delays). Is her not listening to anyone" related to a communication issue like auditory processing deficits? These are common in kids with ADHD and can stand alone (some speech people disagree with this)
    Girls are often overlooked by teachers as having ADHD or even ADD. There issues manifest in different ways. It would be worth looking into, however just because your son's have it does not necessarily mean she will.

    In my opinion, it is worth going in and speaking with the counselor and principal to see of there is a better way to help your daughter be successful in school. I would also demand an experienced, and thoughful teacher next year-this can make all the difference in the world. If you have a problem solving attitude and share with them all you do to support them (taking away privaledges etc.) hopefully they will be helpful. It would not be a bad idea to ask for an assessment as well. I do believe the ones you get outside the school are better if you can afford it or your insurance covers it.

    Some here (myself to a certain extent) like the books by Ross Greene called The Explosive Child and Lost at School (the later has more descriptive help with collaborative problem solving).I have found lots of good ideas in many books and find I need a large bag of tricks, so I don't stop with these books, I also love the Tough Kid Tool Box, Love and Logic, and an older book called "The Difficult Child".

    by the way, my son had pretty severe ADHD and is now very successful and happy (the most important thing). The school fight was exhausting-so gear up. Its a matter of resources which are limited, stressed teachers, and under-prepared teachers.
    Keep us posted and try making a signature in your profile so we know more about your situation, it helps people with ideas to share.
  8. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Hi Lori, welcome.
    Definitely, your daughter should have been redirected. So sad.
    I'm with-the others on all the same questions ... ;) I'll check back.