My son is 19 years old and living at home. One of my biggest struggles is realizing what is my business and what is not. Now I know that I have a say as to anything that goes on in my home but is that it? I know he smokes pot regulary and I have a feeling lately that something else is going on but have no proof. The last few months I feel I have gone off the deep end, I’m suspicious of his every move and can’t stand not knowing where he is or what he is up to at any given moment. Our relationship is strained because of this. I hate the fact that I can’t stop him from using pot or anything else he chooses. So what do I do with all this gut churning anxiety? Pretty much it seems like all I can do is wait and see unless he breaks house rules and bring stuff into the house. But even then, since he started messing with pot we have searched his room on numerous occasions and got rid of the small amounts of pot or paraphernalia that we found, we drug tested him, we took away his cell phone and iPod for months at a time (of course he was still a minor then) so obviously that did not work. So what am I supposed to do? Just wait and see what happens? I suck at that.