new here DS 12 yrwith ADHD,ODD,Anxiety...HELP!

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by dixiegirl34, Jun 4, 2007.

  1. dixiegirl34

    dixiegirl34 New Member

    We are seeing a new counselor for a very increased sexual interest latley. To the point I'm worried. He seems really obsessed since he's been blocked ont he internet by our filters
    many many times trying to reach really nasty sites. And he has been caught with horrible pictures. With all his aggressiveness mainly toward his 6 yr old brother and his severve disobiedience towards husband and myself we are worried what his future may hold.
    I have 3 boys 12, 6 and 2 but My 12 yr old id the one who keepsme up at night worrying about waht kind of adult he'll be.

    HAs anyoneever had their son tested for high testosterone?
    I'm wondering if this may be one of his problems.

    I'd like some adivce and to talk to someone who understands.

  2. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    Welcome! I'm glad you found us.

    Sorry for all the questions, but your answers will point us in the right direction to offer help.
    What kind of doctor diagnosed your son?
    Is he on any medications? If so, what?
    How does he do in school, both academically and with peers?
    Any sensory issues (sensitivity to clothing, food textures, loud noises, for example)?
    Any mental health issues or substance abuse in the family tree?

    Again, welcome.
  3. RobinLaurain

    RobinLaurain New Member

    It is part of the whole (CD) thing and he is an adolescent boy. In the old days, it would have been a girlie mag. hidden under the bed. Today it is the net. Back in the day, kids couldn't get such graphic things. Now they can. They will do what they are allowed to do just to see how far they can go. My son downloaded naked pics at school and sold them to his fellow classmates. He was quite the little salesman until he got busted by his teacher. My advice to you would be to try to stay in the moment and deal with one thing at a time. Make a consequence for the behavior and stick to it no matter what. Be firm and consistent. I used to lock my son's Nintendo in the trunk of my car for discipline. He became so enraged, he pulled a knife on me which I promptly called the police and he ended up in juvenile hall. He had to know he wasn't going to intimidate me into giving him his way. I had the bruises, scratches, and broken nose, but he didn't get his way. He eventually ended up spending the majority of his youth in juvenile hall, but he always had my support and I held firm with him. I wasn't 100%, I would get tired, but I was at least 80%. I think that is good for a single, working mom.
  4. dixiegirl34

    dixiegirl34 New Member

    He has been on medications stratera and then we tried concerta.
    Both causes very bad depression and worsened his anxiety.

    We've been diagnosed by 2 pediatricians, about 3 counselors.

    I've read so many books I feel I could write one.

    He is very sensitive to hyper personalities around him. He likes people but does best alone and even his friends he really like he can only tolerate them for short periods of time.

    I home schooled him 3rd through 5th grades because of a severve anxiety of school and I got no where with the schools so we home schooled. We went back to school this year for 6th and ended up with A's and B's but failed several tests throughout the year and homework was a nightmare everynight. If not for husband and myself he would have defiantely failed. He actually is very smart but lacks some common sense. He had detention a few time for smarting off to the teacher and writing an ugly note to a girl.
    Hme is his biggest problem. He seems to act eh worse to those who love him most.
    He is 12 yr. but about 5,7" 132 lb, and wears men size clothing and shoes. I am worried his hormone levels may be off. He is very aggresive and since he is so big he overpowers others easily.
  5. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    We can't diagnose over the internet, but it sounds to me as if you may not have gotten to the bottom of what is going on with your difficult child (Gift from God -- the child who brought you here). I'd strongly recommend new evaluations with both a child/adolescent psychiatrist and a neuropsychologist. A neuropsychologist does extensive testing and can be found at university or children's hospitals.

    In the meantime, I'd recommend picking up a copy of The Explosive Child by Ross Greene. It has helped many of us on the board parent our extra-challenging children.
  6. RobinLaurain

    RobinLaurain New Member

    You could test him for hormone imbalances to reassure your self. I am not a doctor. What you describe about your son is classic CD behavior, but it sounds like you need the reassurance to know for sure. I always believe to turn over every stone. What do you have to lose? If you have insurance that will pay for it probably nothing, but you will be reasuured. Good luck to you.
  7. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    With all due respect, psychiatric and neurological disorders need to be ruled out before a diagnosis of CD is made. CD is a diagnosis of last resort, not first.
  8. RobinLaurain

    RobinLaurain New Member

    I wish the book by Ross Greene was out when I was raising my son. I read it and I would have done some things differently. I did the best I could with what I knew at the time. That is all we can do.
  9. RobinLaurain

    RobinLaurain New Member

    She said he has ODD. I assumed he was tested or how would she know he has ODD? You are correct in that CD should be the diagnosis. of last resort. Unfortunately, when they have ODD it eventually turns to CD unless they go ito remission. I am not saying he has it, but his symptoms do support the ODD diagnosis. at the very least. As I stated before, I would rule everything out--hormones, etc. just so she has peace of mind.
  10. dixiegirl34

    dixiegirl34 New Member

    I'm sorry for allt he typo's! My 2 yr. DS keeps getting out of bed and crying!

    We've seen several child physchologists. Where I live it is very hard to get help for a child. Not many doctors around here specialize in pediatric medicine of any sort. It is very frustrating! Teh only child pyschiatrists on the area will not take insurance and charges $400./hour. I desperately want to help my son and he's been evaluated so many times he's so sick of tests, but in my area the help is limited.

    Thanks for the replies.
  11. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    in my opinion, you should go to a Child Psychiatrist (with the MD) for a diagnosis. I agree 100% with Smallmom. You may also want to take a look at the links below. Your son has only been on ADHD medications. Perhaps he doesn't have ADHD/ODD/CD, but a mimicker. I would look into it. Here ya go. I strongly recommend reading about early onset bipolar and high functioning autism and go to somebody other than a counselor or pediatrician for a diagnosis. While you can test him for high tetostorone, it's most likely not that. I had a son who was into porn as a teen and he's a normal adult now--completely not obsessed with porn. Actually, both of my now grown adult boys used to stash nasty mags under their beds. Hyper-sexuality, however, is a common trait of early onset bipolar disorder or if the child was sexually abused without your knowledge (sadly, it happens). As long as he doesn't act out on another, I wouldn't worry too much. I'd definitely wonder if he had disorders that have been missed. ODD rarely stands alone. If you check the symptoms of other childhood disorders, I believe you'll see they fit as well. Almost all the kids here have ODD symptoms, however they HAVE the ODD symptoms because of larger disorders. Often mood stabilizers help because ODD is often co-morbid with serious mood disorders. Stims can make angry kids worse.
  12. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    Are you within driving distance of a children's hospital? Many children's hospitals will accept insurance, work out payments plans or charge according to ability to pay.
  13. RobinLaurain

    RobinLaurain New Member

    I would suggest you get into contact with your parent organization in Mississippi. They will be able to tell you what is the newest things available in Mississippi. Go to your search engine and type in the Federation of Families for Children's Mental Health. There is a map of the US and you can click on your State. It will then give you toll free numbers to call. At the very least, you can find out if you are getting all that is available to you. You would be surprised how agencies withold this info. from families for a variety of reasons. They also can help you with finding doctors, advocacy, insurance issues, etc.
  14. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    University hospitals tend to take Medical Assitance, and are in my opinion great. They tend to be on "the cutting edge." (((Hugs)))
  15. dixiegirl34

    dixiegirl34 New Member

    I have read and asked a hundred questions about many different possiblities of what may be wrong with my child. Where I live they told me that I would only see a child psychiatrist. for medications, no testingor counseling. The child psychologist sends a report to the child psychiatist who then gives out the medications.
    We chose our pediatrician for medications sicne we trusted her and the psychiatrist was so expensive.
    He's had hours and hours of testing and tey ruled out bipolar, but said they'd keep an eye on it.
    Like I was saying earlier the area I live in is probably the worse in the country for children.
    again, sorry, for the quick answers, my 2 yr. old has many sleep issues!
  16. RobinLaurain

    RobinLaurain New Member

    All of the suggestions posted are good suggestions. Just remember, you know your child best, follow your gut instinct, have everything checked out. Sometimes we forget that some of the things our kids do is normal, adolescent behavior, but our children take it to an extreme because of their illnesses. It sounds like you have had a
    great deal of testing done. I have found that my son would get a different diagnosis with each evaluation. Each doctor had their own take on it. So, I ended up trying everything that was available in my State at the time.
  17. dixiegirl34

    dixiegirl34 New Member

    Thank you for all the info! I knew a group of parents would be more helpful than anything I've found so far!
  18. RobinLaurain

    RobinLaurain New Member

    Let us know what happens.
  19. kris

    kris New Member


    while i understand your concerns about his interest in pornography he's right on target developmentally. this is the age where they become fascinated with-sex. today they have far more access to porn than past generations & access to more hard core nastiness than ever before due to the internet. i'm not saying you shouldn't be concerned, you should. i'm just saying it's fairly normal. is your computer password protected?

    i agree with-the others that a new neuropsychologist evaluation & treatment by a child/adolescent psychiatrist rather than a pediatrician is in order. peds just don't have the experience or in~depth knowledge to handle the issues you're dealing with.

    ODD does not necessarily lead to conduct disorder...tho it can if underlying issue are left untreated. ODD more often than not functions as a symptom of things like bipolar, depression & other disorders. the ODD behaviors often diminish greatly once the co morbid condition is treated.

    even if you have to go out of state look for a children's hospital or one connected with-a university. you can get all necessary evaluation done in hospitals like this. they also tend to take a broader spectrum of insurances.

    have you tried you community mental health folks to find a psychiatrist for your son? they should be able to also provide some treatment options for you. even if they don't take your insurance they work on a sliding scale fee so the costs are not prohibitive.

  20. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Robin, ODD does not always turn into CD. There are many children who have ODD tendencies who never progress any further. It is sometimes very difficult to sift out those who have ODD symptoms from those that are truly ODD. Oppositional behavior is common to many other disorders, just like depression is common to many disorders. I wish they would change the name of the ODD disorder so it was not as confusing.

    There is no special test for ODD. Like many other behaviors/disorders, the diagnosis is based on a set of symptoms that last for a ceertain amount of time. That's why these disorders are so difficult to diagnose, because there are no tests.

    I would think that most people in jails/detention facilities could be identified as having a conduct disorder, but some of them are just bad people. Some of them simply do bad things, not because of a disorder, but because they are criminals.

    I've never heard of ODD going into remission. That suggests that once you have it you always have it. I don't believe that, and I don't believe once you have CD you have to always have it either. That is true with bipolar but not ODD and CD.