Hello and welcome. I agree with the others here posting before me because many of us have followed the same journey. It is good to try that IF you haven't and haven't already figured out that it doesn't work very well for your child. Many of us do find some incentives work SOME of the time.
First, if you can, read "what your explosive child is trying to tell you" by Doug Riley and "the explosive child" (my keyboard is funky adding spaces and refusing caps sorry)....by ross Greene.
These books are a couple that help give ideas and explanations for why consequence reward programs often do not work for kids who are wired differently. For a child to have a ODD diagnosis....regardless of many of our impression that it is not a very helpful diagnosis (for the reasons stated, it just describes behavior and of course if it gets you help ...great, but if you can find out why it i s much m ore helpful for obvious reasons)... anyway, for a child to have this at a young age it usually means something is going on, either chemically, neurologically, situation-ally, or a combination. It can really help to look beyond one area of specialty (mental health or neuro ONLY) and go to a broader evaluation like a neuropsychology (psychologists who have additional training in neurology so they test very indepth...far more than a typical psychiatrist or psychologist or dr. visit and they help connect how our brains work, process, experience with the behavioral challenges either in learning or socially etc.) A developmental pediatrician can also work, they often have a team of evaluators that work together. (psychiatric, speech/lang, Occupational Therapist (OT), PT, vision, etc.....)
Many of us also have complete speech/lang. pathology and occupational therapy evaluations done to look at obvious and subtle issues that may be interfering with understanding/processing as well as motor (fine motor, non integrated reflexes, etc.) and sensory integration issues. These may not be obvious and some of us like to do this testing while waiting for the neuropsychologist testing because then you can bring these results to the neuropsychologist to help them see the bigger picture. neuropsychologist will touch on these areas but will not be able to do the indepth testing in those areas that you will get from these people.
We often share this on this board, and many of us do this in different orders or slightly different ways, but we share it because getting a more comprehensive evaluation has lead to answers and much more significant help in many cases. For some, it even dismisses incorrect diagnoses and helps to get on the right track. We like to suggest to people to d o t his before going through years of ineffective, nor not fully effective treatments only to find out later....(and the professionals are doing their best often, not that they are insincere, but they are limited in focus and will naturally have a bias for how they view your child's behavior and not look for ALL of the underlying causes. A member who is not around as much lately just found out her son has a serious digestive issue which affects his ability to absorb nutrients which has contributed to all kinds of behaviors, sigh...it has been years of searching for answers, sigh). We have to be the ones to search down all o f the possibilities.
OK now on to the reward chart. Here are things that have gone wrong for us (my son and me) and what does work sometimes...
1. rewards work best if immediately given. This is actually a behavioral principle for teaching new behaviors. IF you are going to use a behavioral (reward/consequence) method....generally you give rewards for each step taught until the behavior is solidly learned THEN you can spread it out to when you get this job done you get X...eventually working up to being able to have delayed rewards like a sticker chart. For US we NEVER are able to use a delayed reward system at home and rarely at school (just for s mall not as important things). To maintain a behavior (In behavior programs) what is used is intermittent rewards, just randomly giving a compliment, treat, etc.....this is after the behavior is established to KEEP it. (remember this is the traditional way and it can work well for many, especially more typical kids who are just having an issue here and there, doesn't hurt to try because it is a nice system, but if it is not working do not kill yourself over it, or kill them...LOL it results in huge power struggles and it may be missing the real issue anyway if there is something underneath the whole problem)
2. NEVER NEVER works to do a cost program where we take away a sticker.
3. It does sometimes work to just set a limit and (if we are at that step) if I say well, if it takes a week, or three weeks to get the five stars, that is fine.....then it is not so devastating to not make it in a day, the pressure is off a little. But by this time in his life, charts end up ripped up even if he is close to the end, s o not worth it.
4. Since we rarely do this at all anymore, what we DO do is give a mint for a nice ride on the bus, a tatoo for following a direction etc.
My son's teacher put it really nicely the other day. They are specialists in neurobehavioral approaches which look outside of traditional behavioral methods for kids who simply do not respond well to those approaches (frankly, if these approaches were used more frequently we may have less kids in such specialized programs because they work for many kids, typical and kids with challenges).
SO, he said what works for Q is to stay in charge (not in an obvious way, just not based on charts, points, etc) of the rewards. To have them ready to go and to catch the behaviors that they are working on because this way you avoid the potential power struggles, anxieties, whatever is interfering with the system.
Much of what we are doing (and it depends on each child but to give you an example of how digging to the issues has helped) is to avoid triggers, to use what works to calm him (often counter intuitive...NO gentle voice, reasoning etc...just QUIET until his brain settles because seizures and obsessive thoughts can be interfering with compliance)....switching out who says what (I am single and still do it, for example will have a secretary at the therapy clinic go into Occupational Therapist (OT) and hand a cup with his medications to him so a power struggle with me is out of the equation, so far this ALWAYS works, knock wood!)
He is in therapies to help the issues which cause impulse control problems, irritability, misunderstanding or missing of information, ability to remember things in a better way, etc. (we will also be doing bio feedback, relaxing sessions for the summer).... He is in Occupational Therapist (OT), PT, speech/lang/communication, and a social skills group. (and of course has Special Education.)
In terms of right now?
Do you need to cue her on what to do, and/or how to do the chores? Maybe try a list that she checks off, just an organizer list (pictures if needed but words are fine). You can laminate a task sheet if it is always the same and it can be checked off like a white board. For now, maybe see what happens if she can earn a small reward ( a dime, a sticker, a tatoo, a lifesaver, a few m and m's etc.) for the check....or just for doing the chore if you dont use a task board...right away.
If what she needs to do changes or just if you prefer, you can buy a small wipe off board to write chores on and then when done erase it.
If she is unorganized, you might schedule the chore time, but it may take a while to get used to the schedule, so be prepared to teach and help until it is comfortable and routine. My son hates new routines but even if they are not fun things, once established if he says...can I do X now, I can say...well what does the schedule say (then it is the schedules fault not mine to say no). By the way, it does not have to b e a timed thing...it can just be the order.... if the schedule says this or that has to be done first, then what can be done second etc.... you dont get stuck with panic and fits if a time limit hits. (can you tell I have been thru this , uggg)
If she does not need a schedule but likes to have power/choices then you might list several things will be doing that day... and she can pick the order of the chores (some kids like to do the worst first, some like to ease into things) but allow for a certain break and of course the small reinforcers for each task in between....can't pick from the activity list though until whatever limit number of chores are done.
If she can be a part of setting up the plan it can be far more motivating and give her a sense of control. Really listen to what she says about how to set it up, it may give you clues to how she thinks...
These are all just ideas and yes, they can take a while to set up and to remember to do but in the end wow does it pay off. For us usually one to two weeks and many behaviors settle down. It can get worse when they are getting used to it but once the routine is settled, for some kids just the predictability of it is reassuring.
OK I will stop, I had to get Q ready and send him off while writing this...hope it makes sense. Feel free to correct me or ask if it makes no sense.
This darn keyboard is making me crazy!
Welcome to the group, even if nothing I say is helpful for you, please know I understand how hard this can be and what you a re going through is actually pretty common in this neck of the woods~!! you are not alone!!!!