Newbie here

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by gjax58, Feb 1, 2015.

  1. gjax58

    gjax58 New Member

    I am new here and I always get so confused on new sites. I don't think that I am posting things in the right places. Please bear with me till I get the swing of this...To the one who as answered my threads thank you so much I so appreciate your input. I can see already that I may not be on here much longer because of not knowing what I'm doing...stay safe everyone and I hope that you all have a Happy New Year!!
  2. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Welcome gjax! If you are comfortable, can you tell us a little about yourself and the child that brought you here? It may allow us to be more helpful!
  3. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Oops! Just saw your other post-going to take a look at it! Don't worry, in no time you will feel comfortable with this site.
  4. gjax58

    gjax58 New Member

    Actually wiped out it was my daughter who originally brought me here. Maybe I am in the wrong forums? I don't have little children my kids are adults, 36 and 32. They are both good kids, it is the ones who they are with I have the problems with. Should I look for a different site/forum?...thanks for anyones help!!
  5. ForeverSpring

    ForeverSpring Well-Known Member

    You belong in the Parent Emeritus forum. However, I'd say your daughter IS a problem. But that's my opinion. And I still feel you'd do better if you made a life for yourself aside from your adult children. Don't fight with their SOs. You can't win and it's not your battle. Don't betray your daughter and sons confidences. That's going to make you have bad relationships with them, understandably so. Stay out of their marriages. Let them handle their SOs.

    We are on Parent Emeritus mostly posting about our own adult kids. Not that you CAN'T post about the SO's, but you may get some feedback about your adult kids and yourself too...your daughter has not been an angel and you are probably too involved in her relationship, which, frankly, is her business. Most of us stay out of the relationships of our grown children once they are past age eighteen.

    No partners like meddling mothers...there are movies about that. Seriously!!!!

    I'd post on PE if you do post, but maybe stick to your own adult children and your problems with them. And we will tell you to make a good life for yourself because you can't control your adult children because...they are adults :) They get to pick who they want to spend their lives with and they also face the consequences of bad choices, but THEY have to do this thing called life on their own. They are not even in their 20's. You have two middle age adult children...a woman and a man...they don't need and probably don't want your input.

    Friends your own age, church groups, hobbies, working out, volunteering, part time jobs, new interests, etc...all the things I've done to make sure I'm not that lady in the rocking chair, waiting for my adult children to call me. I make darn sure I don't pester them every day and, really, I know they need space from me and I need space from them too sometimes!!!! Family or not, we need lives of our own. And we need to learn how to have relationships with our adult children without being intrusive and bossy about what they do or we will not hear from them very often. They are no longer little. They are grown up.
    Last edited: Feb 1, 2015
  6. gjax58

    gjax58 New Member

    My daughters father hasn't even met his daughter and it's been 36 years now. Myself and my friends and family think that that has a lot to do with her issues. I would not think of myself as a meddling parent at all considering my daughter use to call me every day and tell me what was going on. On the contrary, I use to try my best on staying out of my kids business unless I was brought into it by my kids...As far as my son he is the most private person and it was his ex that use to call me every single day telling me all of their business. Some of the things she use to tell me I even told her that I didn't need to know this/that and that I didn't think that my son would appreciate her telling me such private stuff....Like I said the things that I have mentioned was 3 years ago and since then my daughter and I have little contact any more. I don't get to see my Grandkids as often except through Skype, but again, Skype is the next best thing than being there. And now since my son just got recertified yesterday, I wont be seeing him as much anymore to because he puts in 16 hour shifts and sometimes more because he is working 2 police stations....As my Dad use to say "he is a " plugger"