Interesting article. I do think the kids described have Asperger's, even though the article expresses horror that such a label be given; but the horror seems more directed towards the "handicap" or "disabled" label, the concept that such a child is disordered. And I do agree with that concern - Asperger's is a syndrome, not a disorder.
We have done best with our kids, by treating them as different, as gifted, as special and unique. We avoid the concept of disability and certainly shy away from disorder as a label. Doesn't stop other people, though.
In life, we do what we can with what we've got. Our kids have amazing abilities, odd interests (which we indulge) and some delays, which we tutor to try to resolve.
As for indulging the odd interests - husband likes to play with tiny trains. What's wrong with that? If he were a kid in some families, however, they would be frantically trying to force 'normality' onto him.
This is something I can't understand but I see it in people on CD - maybe it's a US thing (we get it in Australia, but to a much lesser extent) - this need to see any variation from normal as a disability which needs to be fixed. But it's a worry, wherever I see it. And I do see it Down Under too, just not as much. Maybe it's because in our little area, we have the luxury of individuality. The more citified a society gets, the less room there is for individuality. Here where we live there are a number of people who are very different. We have a lot of artists who live here and some of them are very quirky. A few Aspies as well, including a middle-aged man who has NO idea how to dress. His favourite outfit (which he wears on special occasions), even in winter, is a pair of fluorescent-pink shorts and a red shirt. He loves it, I think it makes him feel happy. He has built his own geology museum in his backyard. His father helped him, before he died. The man now lives alone, although a lot of people look out for him to keep him safe and well.
We have a boy in town whose autism is quite severe - we often see him and his parents at the beach. He loves the beach, loves the water. His little sister has grown up accepting him for who he is. She is very bright, very normal. If he's standing on the sand widdling through his swimsuit, his father might fuss a bit and say, "We don't do that," but there's no big deal. If he's not having a good day and the beach begins to get too crowded for him, his parents take him home or move to a quieter spot. Those of us who know him say hello to him, even though he doesn't recognise our faces. He's recently begun to talk a little, so we always try to listen when he wants to talk to us, even if all he's doing is reading the numbers on a sign.
What we need is acceptance. We need to love and accept our kids, embrace t he differences, work on the bits we need to work on but not to the detriment of the child and their abilities. And to not look for a 'treatment' which will 'make the kid normal' - because frankly, normality ain't all it's cracked up to be. And these kids can be better than normal.
Everything else in that article, I heartily endorse. But a diagnosis doesn't and shouldn't automatically mean a label of disorder. It's an explanation, not a request for change. Sometimes you can use the label to accept appropriate help, such as being able to access a social skills course for kids with high-functioning autism - when difficult child 3 attended such a course, it was restricted to those who had a diagnosis. But the gang of kids he met and has since spent a lot of time with, purely on social outings - absolutely wonderful. These kids do not see themselves as handicapped, they see themselves as very good at the things they are interested in.
One boy seems to be always sleepy, never says much and you get the impression he's borderline IQ. He even looks a bit like a Downs or similar. But I have no trouble having a conversation with him, he is a very mature young man. And he is a very good comic actor - great sense of timing. It is one more thing he values about himself. (when "Black Balloon" comes out, watch for this bloke as a turtle). But he has found his label useful, as we have with our boys.
Marg