not a good night

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by muttmeister, Sep 20, 2012.

  1. muttmeister

    muttmeister Well-Known Member

    For years I came here and posted about my 2 difficult children. You all were my lifeline. They have grown up and are doing better than I ever had any reason to expect.

    Now it's my mother who's driving me crazy. The difference is, I thought they should have the self control or whatever to do better but with her, I guess it's just senior dementia and there's not much to be done but accept it. That sentence in itself makes me wonder if when we are dealing with difficult children we are expecting too much or if it just is what it is.

    In any case, my mother called me at 5 minutes after 3 last night and was all upset because my father was missing. She said he had just been sitting in the living room earlier. My father died in 1970! It takes me a good 15 or 20 minutes to get to where she lives so I called difficult child 2 as he is only a block away. He has driven me crazy over the years and I still get angry with him on a daily basis but he is wonderful with Grandma. He went to her place immediately and when I got there they were sitting in her recliner together. She had fallen and hadn't told me about that either. She cut her finger so we used that as an excuse to take her to the emergency room.

    While we were there they got her calmed down and back to whatever "normal" is for her. They THINK that this episode stems from the anesthesia she had on Tuesday while they did an esophageal test on her - that's another story for another day. I don't really know how she is today yet. We'll see.

    Finally got home and to bed by around 7:20 my granddaughter called; she had left her bookbag in my car and was having a fit so I jumped in the car and took it to her. She said if she didn't get her homework turned in, she'd miss recess. I know for a fact if that had been one of my difficult children I'd have said, "Too bad; maybe after missing recess, next time you'll remember your book bag." Isn't it funny how we often spoil our grandkids when we wouldn't have done it for our own kids? LOL

    Sometimes I think I'm the one who needs to be in the home...just to get some rest.
  2. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Oh Mutt. I understand. I so get it.
  3. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I get it too. I think we all need that home to rest, if you find it, let me know, I'll be there immediately. In the meantime, sending big hugs your way............

    There should be some funding for the parents of difficult child's, a special place we can go in our golden years (which on this board for some may start at 35) where the emphasis is on PEACE, quiet, laughter, playing, absolutely no stress and no other shoes to drop. With some rule, like in jails, where visiting hours for difficult child's are specific and perhaps monitored so if any stress arises, difficult child is spirited away to another facility to calm down without us there to see, hear or know it. With good healthy food, massages daily, swimming pools, saunas, hot tubs, where everything is geared to replenishing, nourishing and nurturing our wounded spirits. Ah, to dream............
  4. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Anesthesia can really mess some people up for several days. I know it did mother in law, she never tolerated it well.

    As for our difficult children, we're tough on them because we're the parent. If we don't have high expectations for them, where is it going to come from? As a grandparent, turning them out to be responsible adults falls to the, without that obligation, we get to spoil. That's why as a little girl when people asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up I said a grandma. lol

    I do spoil my grandkids. But had Darrin left his bookbag here, and he has, it's his responsibility to get it. He remembered and had his dad stop by for it on the way to school. Maybe that is because I watch them regularly though.