Sarmandak
New Member
My son is 11. He was recently diagonised with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), Mood Disorder-not otherwise specified and Conduct Disorder. He is also a heart patient. He was born with multiple heart defects and has had corrective surgery 4 times. The last surgery was when he was 5 and was a heart valve replacement.
We started to notice huge changes after his last surgery. By the time we left the hospital after a 17 day stay he had started to become aggressive with docs and nurses and very verbally abusive. He returned to school 2 weeks later and finished the last 6 weeks of kindergarten with little problems. 1st grade went ok. Few issues but mostly just trouble with concentration, staying on task and waiting his turn. 2nd grade more if the same but more issues more often. We started seeing a therapist with him at this time. It did not go well. He did not get along well with the therapist and took to throwing things or being verbally abusive because I think he knew she would end the session and ask him to leave.
We continued to work with the therapist the rest of the school year and though out the summer. He never connected with her and was pretty much refused to talk to her unless it was something he found interesting. By the beginning of 3rd grade he was hitting other students and being very disruptive. The school was of no help, refused to accept the therapist recommendations, and suspended him 4 times the first 2 months of school. We pulled him out and have been home schooling since.
We switched therapists 3 times but he still refused to talk or engage. About a year ago he started really freaking out about his cardio checkups. He goes every 6 months for an EKG and echocardiogram. He has never had an issue doing the testing before until last year. He started refusing to do them and becoming violent and verbally abusive if the nurses and techs touched him. We moved to a 4th therapist who we are still with. She is wonderful but he refuses to see her. She referred him to the office doctor wo he saw once and was pretty horrid to. She did not feel the office locally could help him so referred to the Children's hospital in the city. She prescribed Prozac, risperdal and cogentin in the meantime.
He was finally see at Children's in November. The doctor there we really liked but then she told us the last time I talked to her that the community based services , which I don't even understand, we're denied because we live in a different county then the hospital and they will not come this far. She agreed that home based/community based was best. We informed her that when we tried to get a prior referral before seeing her requesting home based that we were told that the hospital did not service our county. She told me before she she saw him that was not true but now says the services were denied.
His behavior is destructive towards property and occasionally people. I have more holes in the walls in my house then I can count and 2 broken windows. Not to mention countless misc items broken. He does not get along with others at all especially kids his own age and always assumes they will not like him or are out to get him so hits first etc.. He also does not get along with his siblings. He has 2 older sisters. One is 15 who he loves to death but now that she is a teenager and so busy he resents her. The other is 17 and they have never gotten along. He also clashes with his father quite frequently. My husband is very low on patience and quick to yell.
Smetimes he just cries and cries cause he is unhappy and other times he just rages over really stupid things. He refuses to have anything to do with therapy right now and gets very upset if you try and talk to him because he keeps insisting we are telling him there are things wrong with him. Academicly he is way ahead. Straight As since we started home schooling. He reads on a college level and is already taking algebra in 6th grade.
He has a very hard time following rules, changing tasks and staying focused. He also hates to do anything he does not like. He is afraid of dirt and germs and takes multiple showers a day and will wash his hands raw sometimes. He refuses to sleep in his own room and is still very much afraid of the dark. One he gets upset it is very hard to calm him and you can see how frustrated he is. He acts out in public if he does not get his own way displaying very antisocial behavior.
Today he had a huge meltdown because he was upset with my oldest daughter's friend. My son is overweight because he eats when upset and no matter what I do unless it's hiding food he will find it. Today somehow the kids were talking about sea animals and my son got called a whale and you would have thought world war 3 had started. By the time I got upstairs he was done raging and was just standing in the hallway crying. I sent my daughters friend home and it took several hours to get him calm again. Then he asked to go to Nana's which is his typical place of escape when in trouble because she does not know how to say no. He was so upset I let him go. Then I cried for hours. I think sometimes the oldest and my husband both push his buttons figuring if they make him mad he will want to go to Nana's and it will be quiet for a bit. He idolizes daddy but daddy is always busy or annoyed with his behavior so all the discipline and dealing with issues falls on me.
Now on to my own issues! I have struggles with anxiety and depression my entire life. The worse of it being in the last 6 years. In April of 2010 I was injured at work and forced to take time off. I had been with Toys R Us for 10 years and had been the sole working parent all those years so I panicked. I slipped into a depression and was diagonised with Agoraphobia, depression, anxiety disorder and panic disorder last summer. I have been home with the kids full time since then. Iam so worn out and confused now. I want to know how to help my child.
To top it all off in November his Nana had a double brain anrysum. My son was with her at the time and called 911 and it's probley the only reason she is still with us today. She spent 6 weeks in the hospital and my son blamed hisself because he had had a really trying day with school work that day and was very verbally abusive to Nana. She had always done his school work because I worked full time. Everything got knocked out of wack then and he had to work with me which was a huge adjustment. I enjoyed it and really loved having him home all day. After Christmas break he started going to Nana's more as she felt up to it. I was pressured by hubby to let her resume school work because she missed it. I agreed to do half and half as I was not as confident teaching the math and she really still needs a lot of rest. For the last 2 weeks however he has refused to do school work with me and has done it all with her but his behavior has been more explosive when he is at home because he has to follow the rules and he has to share his parents with his siblings. When he is at Nana's he gets sole attention. He has also become very hyper senstive about his weight since I started trying to teach him about food and I stopped buying processed foods. He loves to cook do I thought he would enjoy learning about good foods and healthily recipes but instead he got angry. He keeps sneaking snacks at Nana's too.
Sorry to be so long winded Iam just so frustrated! I also really needed to vent tonight I think.
Thank you!
We started to notice huge changes after his last surgery. By the time we left the hospital after a 17 day stay he had started to become aggressive with docs and nurses and very verbally abusive. He returned to school 2 weeks later and finished the last 6 weeks of kindergarten with little problems. 1st grade went ok. Few issues but mostly just trouble with concentration, staying on task and waiting his turn. 2nd grade more if the same but more issues more often. We started seeing a therapist with him at this time. It did not go well. He did not get along well with the therapist and took to throwing things or being verbally abusive because I think he knew she would end the session and ask him to leave.
We continued to work with the therapist the rest of the school year and though out the summer. He never connected with her and was pretty much refused to talk to her unless it was something he found interesting. By the beginning of 3rd grade he was hitting other students and being very disruptive. The school was of no help, refused to accept the therapist recommendations, and suspended him 4 times the first 2 months of school. We pulled him out and have been home schooling since.
We switched therapists 3 times but he still refused to talk or engage. About a year ago he started really freaking out about his cardio checkups. He goes every 6 months for an EKG and echocardiogram. He has never had an issue doing the testing before until last year. He started refusing to do them and becoming violent and verbally abusive if the nurses and techs touched him. We moved to a 4th therapist who we are still with. She is wonderful but he refuses to see her. She referred him to the office doctor wo he saw once and was pretty horrid to. She did not feel the office locally could help him so referred to the Children's hospital in the city. She prescribed Prozac, risperdal and cogentin in the meantime.
He was finally see at Children's in November. The doctor there we really liked but then she told us the last time I talked to her that the community based services , which I don't even understand, we're denied because we live in a different county then the hospital and they will not come this far. She agreed that home based/community based was best. We informed her that when we tried to get a prior referral before seeing her requesting home based that we were told that the hospital did not service our county. She told me before she she saw him that was not true but now says the services were denied.
His behavior is destructive towards property and occasionally people. I have more holes in the walls in my house then I can count and 2 broken windows. Not to mention countless misc items broken. He does not get along with others at all especially kids his own age and always assumes they will not like him or are out to get him so hits first etc.. He also does not get along with his siblings. He has 2 older sisters. One is 15 who he loves to death but now that she is a teenager and so busy he resents her. The other is 17 and they have never gotten along. He also clashes with his father quite frequently. My husband is very low on patience and quick to yell.
Smetimes he just cries and cries cause he is unhappy and other times he just rages over really stupid things. He refuses to have anything to do with therapy right now and gets very upset if you try and talk to him because he keeps insisting we are telling him there are things wrong with him. Academicly he is way ahead. Straight As since we started home schooling. He reads on a college level and is already taking algebra in 6th grade.
He has a very hard time following rules, changing tasks and staying focused. He also hates to do anything he does not like. He is afraid of dirt and germs and takes multiple showers a day and will wash his hands raw sometimes. He refuses to sleep in his own room and is still very much afraid of the dark. One he gets upset it is very hard to calm him and you can see how frustrated he is. He acts out in public if he does not get his own way displaying very antisocial behavior.
Today he had a huge meltdown because he was upset with my oldest daughter's friend. My son is overweight because he eats when upset and no matter what I do unless it's hiding food he will find it. Today somehow the kids were talking about sea animals and my son got called a whale and you would have thought world war 3 had started. By the time I got upstairs he was done raging and was just standing in the hallway crying. I sent my daughters friend home and it took several hours to get him calm again. Then he asked to go to Nana's which is his typical place of escape when in trouble because she does not know how to say no. He was so upset I let him go. Then I cried for hours. I think sometimes the oldest and my husband both push his buttons figuring if they make him mad he will want to go to Nana's and it will be quiet for a bit. He idolizes daddy but daddy is always busy or annoyed with his behavior so all the discipline and dealing with issues falls on me.
Now on to my own issues! I have struggles with anxiety and depression my entire life. The worse of it being in the last 6 years. In April of 2010 I was injured at work and forced to take time off. I had been with Toys R Us for 10 years and had been the sole working parent all those years so I panicked. I slipped into a depression and was diagonised with Agoraphobia, depression, anxiety disorder and panic disorder last summer. I have been home with the kids full time since then. Iam so worn out and confused now. I want to know how to help my child.
To top it all off in November his Nana had a double brain anrysum. My son was with her at the time and called 911 and it's probley the only reason she is still with us today. She spent 6 weeks in the hospital and my son blamed hisself because he had had a really trying day with school work that day and was very verbally abusive to Nana. She had always done his school work because I worked full time. Everything got knocked out of wack then and he had to work with me which was a huge adjustment. I enjoyed it and really loved having him home all day. After Christmas break he started going to Nana's more as she felt up to it. I was pressured by hubby to let her resume school work because she missed it. I agreed to do half and half as I was not as confident teaching the math and she really still needs a lot of rest. For the last 2 weeks however he has refused to do school work with me and has done it all with her but his behavior has been more explosive when he is at home because he has to follow the rules and he has to share his parents with his siblings. When he is at Nana's he gets sole attention. He has also become very hyper senstive about his weight since I started trying to teach him about food and I stopped buying processed foods. He loves to cook do I thought he would enjoy learning about good foods and healthily recipes but instead he got angry. He keeps sneaking snacks at Nana's too.
Sorry to be so long winded Iam just so frustrated! I also really needed to vent tonight I think.
Thank you!
