ODD child, custody battle, downsized, what's next?

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Thatusernameis-Connie, May 28, 2008.

  1. Help, 9 yr old son diagnosed as mild case of ODD--any suggestions? Tried "parenting" with ex-husband to help curb hostility towards me from son--filed for custody stating I can't handle things. Depression setting in.
  2. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Hi Connie,

    Is your son seeing a therapist or psychiatrist that could give you some suggestions on behavior mod? I would highly recommend the book "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene. It will shed light on what is going on inside your child and give you suggestions on reordering priorities and parenting tactics.

    I'm sorry that I don't really understand the custody part. Are you saying that you ex filed for full custody of your son because he felt you couldn't handle the parenting? What was the arrangement prior? Is there any truth to the idea that you are not handling things? Are you seeing a doctor for your depression? You know you have to take care of you before you can care for others. Maybe it's time for you to take control back in your life so you can do what is best for you son.

    Welcome to the board.
  3. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member Staff Member

    I second what Sharon said. You have to get control of your depression in order to see things clearly.

    If you could do your signature, including son's age and any medications and a little about yourself or any other children (without any identifying info) that would be helpful to us all when posting to you.
  4. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    Connie, welcome. I'm sorry things are so rough right now in your household.

    Just click on the link below to learn how to create a signature that will appear at the bottom of all your posts:


    Sorry for the questions, but your answers will help us help you.

    What kind of doctor diagnosed your son with ODD?
    Is he taking any medications? If so, what?
    How does he do in school, both academically and with peers?
    Any mental health issues or substance abuse in the family tree?

    In general, ODD is a diagnosis that rarely stands alone. The oppositional behaviors are typically a symptom of an underlying disorder (like anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD)). When the underlying disorder is identified and treated, the oppositional behaviors can then improve.

    I agree with getting your hands on a copy of The Explosive Child. Great book!

    Again, welcome.
  5. Christy

    Christy New Member

    I agree with what the suggestions given above. The Explosive Child book can really help you put things in perspective and respond to your son in a productive way. Your family is going through a lot and if you are not already working with a family therapist, it is a good idea to find one to help your son with his feelings about the custody isuues and his hostility towards you.

    Good luck
  6. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Welcome! The others have given good advice- it has helped me with my son. Answering the questions they have asked will help us give you better responses. Hang in there- you aren't alone!!
  7. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    Hello Connie and welcome,

    Sorry you're having such a rough time. The others have given you good advice already. I just wanted to add my welcome.

    Glad you found us, but sorry that you're in a painful situation that led you here.