Odd new to the game and sooo frustrated...

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by blcsweetness, Jul 3, 2011.

  1. blcsweetness

    blcsweetness New Member

    First of all i just wanna say im so happy to have found this site :) My son has been recently diagnosed ADHD with ODD his doctor wants to wait untill august before school starts to begin any kind of treatment but im at a loss maybe i should have been more adamant about getting help now, but things had been steady as far as his bad behavior goes until now. My DS is 6 Very loving young man i used to be so glad to come home to his hugs n kisses now i leave and dont wanna come back sometimes even secretly wish i could send him away at times... I know that sounds horrible but i just cant handle it i always considerd myself a pacient person but not so much any more i find my self yelling Almost all day long because nothing else works he is whiny stubborn defiant in every way and just down right mean if i ask him to do even the simplest tasks its an argument even getting him to wait to go do something fun becomes a battle he recently has become mean to his sister as well i caught him calling her a stupid lil baby and it broke my heart that is not the son i know i just want my sweet baby back what happened... I need some advice something to help the fighting to stop im so broken anymore and dunno where else to turn.
  2. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    Glad you found us but so very sorry you had to. What kind of doctor diagnosed him? What "testing" did he/she do? What behaviors did the doctor base the diagnoses on? There are many more questions but this will get us started. I would give the doctor a call and be adamant now about "trialing" medications while school is out. Chances are the behavior will carry over to school and that is not a good way to start a school year. Trust your mommy gut. You know him better than anyone else.

    The diagnosis might be wrong, especially if they didn't do any testing of any kind to get an accurate diagnosis. My son carried the ADHD & ODD diagnosis's for 3 years until I started gently questioning him as to WHY he was doing certain things. That along with further testing changed the ODD diagnosis to Autism Spectrum Disorder. His thinking pattern was so very different than "typical" people.

    {{{{(((HUGS)))}}}} to you both. You might want to read some other posts to get some ideas. You should also consider reading the books "The Explosive Child" and "What Your Explosive Child Is Trying To Tell You". Both are excellent and have been very helpful to many of us here.

    Others will be along. Stick around and you will learn a lot and get lots of help and support from many who have walked in your shoes.
  3. blcsweetness

    blcsweetness New Member

    His regular pediatrician diagnosed him my son sees a doctor who specializes in special needs kids at the local children's hospital. He based the treatment on conners scales done by me and his kinder teacher last year she agrees with the diagnosis being a teacher for 25 years. his behavior is almost text book adhd cant stop moving little to no impulse control takes hours to complete even simple tasks Forgetful all the time interrupts conversations with new topics and odd based on his defiance doesn't listen talks back refuses to comply all the time he has never been violent but is mean says very hurtful things on a daily basis. The doctor said they are going to refer me to a therapist that can assist me with a parenting plan and work on the behavior. I agree about starting now because i want him to do the best he can while he is in school not continuously end up in trouble Thanks so much for the hugs and i will definitely look into gettin that book
  4. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    I would very highly recommend you find a child psychiatrist. Peds are great but this is what a psychiatric does. He deals specifically with the mind. I would not trst any pediatrician to have enough knowledge of mental health issues to deal with them effectively. Having a strictly physical doctor dealing with these things is just plain scary.

    You might still want to start calmly asking him WHY he does things after he has calmed down. His first answer may not even be the "bottom" of it. It takes further questioning like if he says "because I felt like it" I ask "Why did you feel like it" or When did you start feeling like doing that". Digging for the why made all the difference in the world for us. Things at our house have calmed down significantly now that I understand some of his thought patterns. Many times his answers (after much digging) let me know I need to teach rather than punish. I have also learned to let some things go. I've had to prioritize. There's no way everything can be fixed at one time so I quit trying.
  5. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I agree that neither a pediatrician, even one who works with special needs kids, or a teacher of 25 years are qualified to diagnose. The Connors testing on it's own is not conclusive as many disorders mask as ADHD and also cause kids to get high Connor's scores. Bipolar disorder and autistic spectrum are just two of the other disorders that confuse pediatricians and teachers and make them say the c hild has ADHD.

    My favorite diagnostician is a neuropsychologist, but a child psychiatrist is in my opinion second best. I would definitely not take the diagnosis as gospel.

    Keep us posted and welcome! :)
  6. blcsweetness

    blcsweetness New Member

    Thanks so much for your advice i will definitely look into getting him into seeing a child psychiatrist i just want my family back under some kind of control as i know a life with kids is never 100% controlled lol i am def feeling a lot better this morning:mornincoffee: and will see if i can get a referral from the docs on thurs im headed that way any way and @TeDo i will try what you have suggested thank you all for your help and will keep ya posted. :)