Oh, my...

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Big Bad Kitty, Jul 3, 2008.

  1. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    As I posted yesterday, my 2 younger stepsons (Beefcake and the Kidd) came over and spent the night last night.

    The plan was for those two and Tink to go to Matt's today and then come back Sunday in time to see Copper and my oldest stepson (the Snake). Well I dropped them off at 5, but by 9:30 Beefcake called me and asked me to come and get them.

    Evidently Matt & Michelle were fighting (what else is new). Their little guy (18MO) had hit Tink, and she smacked his hand and said "no no". Well Michelle yelled at Tink (typical, her little angel can do no wrong - he's Young Prince Sparkle Fanny) and in an amazing turn of events, Matt yelled at her to lay off Tink. Well she went nuts and started screaming about how GRACIOUS she is to even allow HIS kids in HER house. The nerve. So he told Beefcake to call me and ask if I would come and get them. Of course I did not hesitate, but so much for my couple days off. I made sure to let Matt know that while I had no problem taking the kids back, I was BEYOND furious with Michelle. I told him that I had not shopped to be able to feed these kids all weekend, and I told him that it inhaled extremely deeply that because of HER, he was not going to be able to see his kids. Not fair to him OR them.

    So we got home, and the kids needed time to wind down. Tink had not even taken her medications yet (despite strict instruction that she get them around 8). At around 10:30 Kidd and Tink were complaining that they were tired but they could not sleep because Beefcake had the TV on. (they were all out in the frontroom, slumber party style). So I put Tink in her bed and made up a sleeping bag for Kidd next to her.

    I came in my room to fart around on the computer and wind down before hitting the sack. About 20 minutes later, Beefcake came into my room. He had been crying. Now I have not seen this kid cry since he was about 7. I sat and talked with him for over an hour. This kid is so broken up over his dad. He's SO not a little kid anymore, and he sees Matt for what he is - a loser. He is so angry at him for not stepping up as a father. He is so hurt that Matt never talks to him seriously, instead either makes a big joke out of everything or blows him off when he wants to talk. The poor kid pretty much poured his heart out to me. My heart is in pieces that these kids are all suffering so tremendously due to their father's inadequacies, and he just has NO clue how he is affecting them. He told me that he was afraid that he was going to end up like him. I told him that he is already a better man that Matt will ever be, and he is only 13.

    Aw this poor kid. I feel so bad for him. He said he never wants to go back there again, They are so much better off here with me than over there. But Kidd and Tink, who really don't know all of what is going on, are crushed that they won't get to be with their dad. And all three of them have had it up to their eyeballs with Michelle.

    Anyone caring to join me in a prayer for these kids' broken little hearts, as well as a prayer that at some point, Matt gets his act together? Yeah, I know that the latter is probably futile, but I read a quote once that said "Never give up on anyone...miracles happen every day" and I took it to heart.

  2. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I have tears in my eyes from reading this. I certainly don't have kind thoughts about Michelle. I hate when people think their children are perfect and can do no wrong. As for Matt, well it's too bad because he is really missing out and needs to step up to the plate.

    I'm sorry the kids and you are having to deal with this. Gentle hugs.
  3. house of cards

    house of cards New Member

    You all have my prayers. Michelle is a witch, but Matt is acting like he has been nuetered. May they all grow up. Wish I could help the kids broken hearts.
  4. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member


    I feel ya girl. I deal with the same.

    Bonehead just doesn't get it. It hurts.

  5. KateM

    KateM Member

    I'm so glad these kids have you in their lives! Of course, I'll pray for their broken hearts and that Matt will step up to the plate. I'm really sorry for their pain.But I love that Beefcake was able to share his feelings with you and that you are there for these kids!
  6. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    Sending along my thoughts and prayers - and thanks. Yes, thanks that at least they have a safe comforting home with you. Cherishing those times with you and making the most of those times will be memories they will cherish and fall back on their whole lives long.
  7. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    You have my hope, prayers, and cyber love being sent your way for these kids. I have the same conversation with my difficult child you had with your stepson, many times. It just breaks your heart, that they are so devastated - and at such a young age. Life should not be this hard for them.
  8. mrscatinthehat

    mrscatinthehat Seussical

    Glad you are there to pick up the pieces for the kids (as if you wouldn't be I know). Wishing and praying with you that one day a certain father gets his cranium out of his rectum.

  9. amazeofgrace

    amazeofgrace New Member

    this is what I fear in the future with S2BX, I do not see anyone he would date (or that would date him), being able to deal with difficult child's, of course neither can he. I guess this comment doesn't make me look to good, but heah I was 17 and very stupid!

    Kitty this is why you are the good parent, without hesitation you went and picked these kids up, would he do the same if it were the other way around?

    Prayers for all our difficult child's that are realing over absent Dad's (or Moms) and evil step parents.
  10. Abbey

    Abbey Spork Queen

    been there done that. All I can say is I'm glad they have you to comfort them.

    I've raised 18 yr. old easy child since he was 4. I'll never forget the first time I met him. He was shy, but had the BIGGEST brown eyes and eyelashes that any woman would kill for.

    J did his best to sabatoge any kind of relationship. easy child's bio mom told me immediately she was totally comfortable with easy child calling me mom. (She's a lovely person.) Soon after that, easy child called me mom and that was the first time I saw J literally beat him up. Nice choice...beat up a 4 year old.

    Fast forward all these years, he's started calling me mom and introducing his friends to me as mom. I tell you what...the first time he said that, I started crying. (He, in the meantime, is looking at me like I'm a dork.)

    Kids are not stupid, even the young ones. It comes down to who is there to care and comfort them. Just keep doing your great job. Deep down, they know you are MOM.

  11. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    Thanks, all.

    Beefcake is in a mood today, and I know it is because he is so mad at Matt. He is crabby and picking on Kidd & Tink. He did calm down when I pointed out to him that he is taking his anger out on them.

    When I picked up the kids yesterday, I told Matt that the kids were counting on him taking them to see the fireworks tonight and that I was not able (I just can't walk that far). He said he would take them one way or another. I did not have to voice it, but he knows that he could even walk to my house and use my van.

    Well I have tried to call him a few times today and have not gotten an answer. Of course I only can call HER home and HER cell. And I don't even know if Matt is there.

    Thankfully I have a neighbor with a 4 year old boy (Tink's little buddy) and 6 month od twins (B/G). She agreed to take my three to the fireworks tonight, and I will stay home and watch her babies for her (oh DARN! I "have" to spend time with 2 precious babies!).

    I am just so disgusted with the two of them. For those of you with the BTDTs, you are all my heroes.
  12. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911


    You know - I think it's awesome that that kid recognizes what is. I'm really blown away to think that Matt once again lives by outta sight outta mind. Two GEORGEOUS boys and a princess for a daughter and he chooses Princess IDIOT fanny's company over theirs.

    Makes one wonder if someone were to offer him another place to go if he would put up with her ****? Then she could have the house and the phone and the life she desires (No kids but her own)

    Selfish people like her get their comeuppance - and it may not be today or tomorrow, but sadly little kids brought up in that violent household will be like her and worse. My heart breaks for Prince Glitter britches - it's not his fault his Mother is a selfish witch and his father is led by his ......you know. Any port in a storm....comes to mind.

    I'm just so sorry for your son. It's so much like Cats in a Cradle song isn't it? And when they're older they won't have time for him either. Good on ya for telling him he's already a better man. HE CERTAINLY IS -

    Hugs for all the hurting hearts in your home. And spit at 200 mph for Idiot hiney. If that woman were on fire and I had a full bladder I'd walk another block to relieve myself.

  13. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It


    the kids certainly are lucky to have you. Can you imagine how awful they would all feel (and act after they went home) if you had gone out of town and couldn't come pick them up?

    Did Bichelle (left the t out) take Matt's free will? He is SUCH a loser, to pick her over his precious sons and daughter. What a fool!

    I feel like Star, she and I can walk real fast another block to relieve ourselves!

  14. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    Bichelle! I LOVE it!!

    Just to keep you in the loop, he FINALLY called a around 4. But he didn't call me, he called Beefcake's cell. Well Beefcake was napping (poor kid was so exhausted) as was I, so the Kidd answered the phone. Just like nothing happened, he told Kidd that he'd be by at 8 to pick them all up and go to the fireworks.

    When I got up around 6, Kidd told me, and I called him immediately. This time he answered. I told him that I was sorry, but none of the kids want to go with him. He acted SURPRISED! I told him you just don't get it. Once the kids left, all you dealt with was your own little world that Bichelle has created for you. I told him you have NO idea how much these kids are suffering. I also told him that none of these kids want to see Bichelle ever again. He sat in stunned silence (I am sure Bichelle was sitting right there next to him). I went on to say that I felt unappreciated, I mean here I am dealing with HIS children, and I did not even get a thank you or here's $20 to help feed them. I had to run out first thing this morning to get some more groceries.

    So after all my rambling, he says "so they don't want to go with me, huh?" I said nope. He says "tell them I love them and maybe I will see them there." I said that's it? He says "well tell them I'm sorry."

    I said all right.

    The kids did go with my neighbor, and I watched her twins (SUCH torture). I'm anxious to hear if he sought them out or not.

    Thanks everyone for all your support.
  15. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I am sure the children were FAR better cared for by your neighbor. I wish I could be tortured by having to look after precious 6 mo old babies like you!!(LOL!) Glad you had fun with the babies.

    I am glad you told him that the kids' did not want to see him. They shouldn't be forced, esp after he was such a fool.

    I am glad you like Bichelle. It just came to me. Seemed to fit.