Fran
Former desparate mom
Finally.
I jinxed difficult child by mentioning that he has been going to work and doing ok.
Sat. AM he was sounding less than enthused.
I got the call 2 hrs later. He wasn't happy with the job he got that day and wanted to quit. He was doing the old negativity talk that usually precipitates a disaster of difficult child type magnitude.
I launched into mom speak of how they were counting on him. How he promised he would do what he had too. Yadda,yadda,yadda.
I tried to remind him of how he needs to handle things like a man and stop whining.
Anyhow,as I was sweating that he would quit, I did the old "if you do the same things you always did, then the results will be the same". I begged him to talk to the manager about his issues and deal with them as an adult. Even if he quits it has to be done properly so that he can use them as a reference and he learns how to act like an adult.
Second phone call. He told the manager that he might need to resign. :hammer: He was a little calmer but I talked about what he had to lose and how if he couldn't keep a job because of his negativity, that he was proving that he could not live on his own. I was pretty calm but husband and I fully expected he was going to get fired or he would walk off the job.
4 o'clock came and went. difficult child said he spoke again to the manager about the issues with the people in the back. It was a very positive and productive conversations. He changed his normal destructive behavior and it worked!!!!!!!I was so relieved.
Even if in the end, he doesn't stay with this job, he learned to problem solve and not sabotage himself.
Today was a good day in the Ms. Fran household.
As a side note, difficult child said to not be too optimistic since he usually screws up the positive behavior. :smile: I did laugh out loud.
I jinxed difficult child by mentioning that he has been going to work and doing ok.
Sat. AM he was sounding less than enthused.
I got the call 2 hrs later. He wasn't happy with the job he got that day and wanted to quit. He was doing the old negativity talk that usually precipitates a disaster of difficult child type magnitude.
I launched into mom speak of how they were counting on him. How he promised he would do what he had too. Yadda,yadda,yadda.
I tried to remind him of how he needs to handle things like a man and stop whining.
Anyhow,as I was sweating that he would quit, I did the old "if you do the same things you always did, then the results will be the same". I begged him to talk to the manager about his issues and deal with them as an adult. Even if he quits it has to be done properly so that he can use them as a reference and he learns how to act like an adult.
Second phone call. He told the manager that he might need to resign. :hammer: He was a little calmer but I talked about what he had to lose and how if he couldn't keep a job because of his negativity, that he was proving that he could not live on his own. I was pretty calm but husband and I fully expected he was going to get fired or he would walk off the job.
4 o'clock came and went. difficult child said he spoke again to the manager about the issues with the people in the back. It was a very positive and productive conversations. He changed his normal destructive behavior and it worked!!!!!!!I was so relieved.
Even if in the end, he doesn't stay with this job, he learned to problem solve and not sabotage himself.
Today was a good day in the Ms. Fran household.
As a side note, difficult child said to not be too optimistic since he usually screws up the positive behavior. :smile: I did laugh out loud.