mom_to_3
Active Member
I have kept up with most of you all over the years, but have not had to post issues of my own.
Our difficult child has a son that is 10 yrs. old. He is a difficult child thru and thru. I could see it from the beginning, honestly. When he was a toddler, I told his parents there were "issue's" and to watch for them and bring it up to his doctor. They did not believe me. In fact they were angry with me. His parents are divorced, but they both are involved.
Now, 10 yrs. later......... Everyone believes me. My difficult child grandson has had problems all along. Very much the same as his mother had. It is hard to describe in words exactly what I see, but it is there. He is definitely ADD. I don't really see the hyper side. School behavior and academics have been an issue since he began. He is immature. He lies. He steals. He sneaks. He cannot maintain friendships. He can be oppositional. He has told me about "people" in his head. You know what I am thinking about that one. He tried to drown his dog. OMG! And he sets fires! I know everything I have just written is horrible! My difficult child daughter said he now has a conduct disorder diagnosis.
But there is more.... When I talk to my grandson on the phone, it's all about him always. We don't have conversations really other than him asking me when I will come get him to spend the night. He talks and talks and talks about anything. I can tell he is making up things and I will call him on it and he will usually "fess" up. He has a very vivid imagination and it sometimes appears that he is living what he is thinking, if that makes sense. He marches to his own drum.
Probably out of everyone in his life, we get along the best. He loves to come spend the weekend at our home. But let me tell you, that boy wears me out! He is constantly talking and wanting/needing attention all the time. He doesn't sleep all night, he gets up and sneaks food and chewing gum. He always has a good dinner here, dessert and a bedtime snack of his choosing. When I get up in the morning there are food wrappers hidden in between the couch cushions, and gum wrappers from a package of my gum thrown all over the floor! He doesn't even bother to hide them or put them in the trash. Since this is the norm with him, I give him a pack of gum or a roll of that bubble gum and tell him to have all he wants, but he still does it!
A couple of weeks ago he was here and we had radishes. He was curious and wanted to try one. I said okay and then he headed to the back yard. I had warned him earlier not to throw ANYTHING in the pool since this has been a persistent problem too. He walked out back and immediately threw the radish in the pool. OMG!
Last week when I talked to him, he said something to me that just sent up red flags. It's kind of weird since he is 10 yrs. old and really should know better. Let me preface this with two things. Less than a year ago, I had to put my beloved yorkie to sleep. I loved that little guy like he was my child and it really hurt me to lose him. At the end of January, my mother died. I was very close to her and I still cannot even think about her without crying. So when talking to my grandson he said something about great grandma and great grandpa's house and then said "since great grandma died I don't think we should call it her house. I said, "Oh yes, it will always be great grandma’s and great grandpa’s house. Then he says who do you think was more important, Buster or great grandma? I was trying to gather my thoughts and started to say, while both of them were important to me, my mother is most important and I miss her. I couldn't help but cry. And my grandson say's "well, I think Buster since he lived with you.
I realize he is a child but he is old enough to understand that your own mother would have priority. And it was in the way he said it and the complete lack of empathy he showed. He was close to my mom, and loved going to their house too.
My difficult child daughter called me today crying. She does not know what to do anymore. Her difficult child son does see the psychiatrist and is on medication but there are still major constant everyday all day problems. Just like she was as a child. I am at a loss as I never found a solution for her either other than a LOT of time and even then she's still a difficult child just in a different way now. She is married and her husband is in the military. She says the doctors do not take her seriously or help her. She feels like they are blowing her off. She says they just raise his ADHD medications but it doesn't help. B/P has been ruled out. He was hospitalized at my insistence when he tried to drown that dog. They kept him there for some time and then did the partial hospitalization.
I am at a loss and would love to have something or anything to offer her and my grandson. I gave her the number for crisis intervention for there are in hopes of finding another avenue. I am VERY, VERY afraid for his future! Any suggestions?
Our difficult child has a son that is 10 yrs. old. He is a difficult child thru and thru. I could see it from the beginning, honestly. When he was a toddler, I told his parents there were "issue's" and to watch for them and bring it up to his doctor. They did not believe me. In fact they were angry with me. His parents are divorced, but they both are involved.
Now, 10 yrs. later......... Everyone believes me. My difficult child grandson has had problems all along. Very much the same as his mother had. It is hard to describe in words exactly what I see, but it is there. He is definitely ADD. I don't really see the hyper side. School behavior and academics have been an issue since he began. He is immature. He lies. He steals. He sneaks. He cannot maintain friendships. He can be oppositional. He has told me about "people" in his head. You know what I am thinking about that one. He tried to drown his dog. OMG! And he sets fires! I know everything I have just written is horrible! My difficult child daughter said he now has a conduct disorder diagnosis.
But there is more.... When I talk to my grandson on the phone, it's all about him always. We don't have conversations really other than him asking me when I will come get him to spend the night. He talks and talks and talks about anything. I can tell he is making up things and I will call him on it and he will usually "fess" up. He has a very vivid imagination and it sometimes appears that he is living what he is thinking, if that makes sense. He marches to his own drum.
Probably out of everyone in his life, we get along the best. He loves to come spend the weekend at our home. But let me tell you, that boy wears me out! He is constantly talking and wanting/needing attention all the time. He doesn't sleep all night, he gets up and sneaks food and chewing gum. He always has a good dinner here, dessert and a bedtime snack of his choosing. When I get up in the morning there are food wrappers hidden in between the couch cushions, and gum wrappers from a package of my gum thrown all over the floor! He doesn't even bother to hide them or put them in the trash. Since this is the norm with him, I give him a pack of gum or a roll of that bubble gum and tell him to have all he wants, but he still does it!
A couple of weeks ago he was here and we had radishes. He was curious and wanted to try one. I said okay and then he headed to the back yard. I had warned him earlier not to throw ANYTHING in the pool since this has been a persistent problem too. He walked out back and immediately threw the radish in the pool. OMG!
Last week when I talked to him, he said something to me that just sent up red flags. It's kind of weird since he is 10 yrs. old and really should know better. Let me preface this with two things. Less than a year ago, I had to put my beloved yorkie to sleep. I loved that little guy like he was my child and it really hurt me to lose him. At the end of January, my mother died. I was very close to her and I still cannot even think about her without crying. So when talking to my grandson he said something about great grandma and great grandpa's house and then said "since great grandma died I don't think we should call it her house. I said, "Oh yes, it will always be great grandma’s and great grandpa’s house. Then he says who do you think was more important, Buster or great grandma? I was trying to gather my thoughts and started to say, while both of them were important to me, my mother is most important and I miss her. I couldn't help but cry. And my grandson say's "well, I think Buster since he lived with you.
I realize he is a child but he is old enough to understand that your own mother would have priority. And it was in the way he said it and the complete lack of empathy he showed. He was close to my mom, and loved going to their house too.
My difficult child daughter called me today crying. She does not know what to do anymore. Her difficult child son does see the psychiatrist and is on medication but there are still major constant everyday all day problems. Just like she was as a child. I am at a loss as I never found a solution for her either other than a LOT of time and even then she's still a difficult child just in a different way now. She is married and her husband is in the military. She says the doctors do not take her seriously or help her. She feels like they are blowing her off. She says they just raise his ADHD medications but it doesn't help. B/P has been ruled out. He was hospitalized at my insistence when he tried to drown that dog. They kept him there for some time and then did the partial hospitalization.
I am at a loss and would love to have something or anything to offer her and my grandson. I gave her the number for crisis intervention for there are in hopes of finding another avenue. I am VERY, VERY afraid for his future! Any suggestions?