OMG - I just sent ANOTHER email to difficult child's teacher and principal!!

[ksm]

OK - entirely different problem besides missing English assignments.

here is the last email....


OK, this is a completely different matter. At bedtime tonight, Jxxxx told me she had had a difficult time in Mrs. Rxxxx's class. There was a substitute and he suggested a "category" game for the students. The first "category" was "most annoying person in the class" and Jxxxx was "nominated" for most annoying person. She said she tried to laugh it off and act like she didn't care, but it was very hurtful. It seems like the substitute teacher picked this category and had students nominate each other. I guess some of the rest of the categories were selected by other students.

This is just so wrong on - and in so many ways. I don't have high expectations of substitutes - most are merely babysitters. A movie maybe? Or reading a book? Computer time? Anything but having your child endure this type of humiliation. I hope it never happens to other students in the future.

OK, No that I have sent it... what should I do next?? difficult child doesn't want people to know it hurt her feelings, so I can't write a letter to the editor... as people in the class would know who complained. I am just livid!! It is one thing to be an ineffective teacher... I'll take that over some idiot that thinks playing a game like that in class is "fun".

KSM

 

[keista]

I am so sorry she had to deal with that!

In future communications, do NOT refer to it as a game. Refer to it as what it is - BULLYING. And this was the worst kind. A person in power was organizing and sanctioning it!

I would find out who deals with the substitutes (hires/fires) at the district level, and file a complaint personally about it. I would hope that the principal would do this, but I think this issue and transgression is serious enough for a personal complaint from you.

 

[musiclady]

i think you have done all you can do... hope that never happens again.

 

[susiestar]

I would follow it up with a meeting with the principal. I would INSIST that this person NEVER be in a class with your child again. I would also ask if the principal can handle this or if you need to go to the superintendent of schools because this is WRONG. IT is bullying and it is institutional bullying, meaning sanctioned by the school, and it does PERMANENT harm to children. You do NOT want this brought up to the students, but you want to be darn sure that this person is NEVER around your child again.

emails are great for fast, easy, instant communication, but this is important. The principal needs to be told to make SURE that ALL subs and teachers and staff know that this is intolerable.

I would problem ask for the sub to be fired, at least in your school. ANY hesitancy from the principal would mean I drove to the superintendent's office and demanded to see her. I would insist that SHE fire the sub for bullying students and condoning bullying.

But I don't know how far you want to take this.

 

[TeDo]

I agree 1000% with Susie. That is just so so WRONG and it needs to be dealt with immediately with personal face-to-face meeting(s) with the principal and yes, maybe even the super. That was completely unethical. If it were me, I would also file a formal complaint with the state Dept of Education so it goes in the sub's file there. That person has no business being around kids with "games" like that. It is BULLYING that comes across as being sanctioned and it will continue with other kids if it's not dealt with immediately and harshly, to send a message that it will not be tolerated.

 

[ksm]

I agree 1000% with Susie. That is just so so WRONG and it needs to be dealt with immediately with personal face-to-face meeting(s) with the principal and yes, maybe even the super. That was completely unethical. If it were me, I would also file a formal complaint with the state Dept of Education so it goes in the sub's file there. That person has no business being around kids with "games" like that. It is BULLYING that comes across as being sanctioned and it will continue with other kids if it's not dealt with immediately and harshly, to send a message that it will not be tolerated.

TeDo - I was so mad I could hardly sleep last night. I don't know all the ramifications, but I think what I want is for difficult child to make a list of all the times she has been bullied by other students, and I want this teacher and the principal to sit there and listen to her list. (this is something she would be able and willing to do - talking in front of adults is easy for her) and then I want this man to apologize, in person, to her and to us. At this point, I am not sure who I am madder at, the one time jerk, or the teacher that has prety much ignored me and her all school year, even after sitting in the meeting with the psychologist and going over the testing results. And, I will put the school psychiatric on my short list too. She was condescending and didn't think difficult child needed any extra help in class.

Still mad. KSM

 

[DammitJanet]

Will it make you feel any better that I ran a substitute teacher out of school and forced her into never subbing again...lol!

Yes I was a difficult child. I scared the living daylights out of her. I figured out a trick back in the day where you could fold up the foil paper you get in packs of cigarettes into thin strips. If you put one strip into each slot of an electrical socket you wont get shocked but then if you tap them together with a pencil (wooden) it makes a loud popping noise with a lot of smoke and shorts out all the power in that classroom. It isnt easily apparent exactly who did the dead especially since they evacuate everyone immediately. Teacher freaked and never taught again.

I got such a big kick out of that.

I would tell your daughter about that but I have a feeling it would be dealt with far more seriously now.

 

[cubsgirl]

That is so wrong on so many levels. This sub has no business being in a classroom. I agree with the others - push for a face-to-face and keep going up the chain of command until you get someone who does something about this. I'm sorry for difficult child - like she doesn't have enough to deal with and this clown starts something.

 

[buddy]

Does your district have an anti-bullying policy? this substitute bullied her. Really, bullied the other kids too (as a ring leader to encourage them to do this, I had a teacher do that to me once....had all the kids chant at me, even the ones who would later tell their parents how awful it was, but they dont want to be the target so they join in....awful!).

She should NOT be allowed to ever substitute again.

 

[TerryJ2]

OMG, that is so sad.
New Game: Most Annoying Substitute Teacher in the School District.

 

[Liahona]

I agree with getting rid of that sub. Getting him blacklisted so he can't sub ever again. Sometimes that will happen just taking it up with the principal but if you have an idiot principal then you might have to go higher up the chain of command.

 

[Bunny]

If you didn't send the e-mail, send it. The principal needs to know that this is what thie substitute is doing while he's in the classroom. I don't care if the teacher thinks that this just "good natured fun" or not, it's ta otally inappropriate thing to do in the classroom.

 

[AnnieO]

I'm with everyone else here. There is absolutely no excuse. No reason. Where did they find this guy? because clearly he was out sick the day they handed out brains. UGH!

Principal first. Then school board. Dept of Ed if they still don't do anything. Don't let this one go.

 

[ksm]

I'm with everyone else here. There is absolutely no excuse. No reason. Where did they find this guy? because clearly he was out sick the day they handed out brains. UGH!Principal first. Then school board. Dept of Ed if they still don't do anything. Don't let this one go.

I have sent the email... along with a second one because I was so mad I had more to say than what I had put in the first one! I am assuming that I will hear something tomorrow. I'll give them until late afternoon before I call the principal. difficult child doesn't want to get the sub in trouble... as he is the husband on the math teacher at her school - and she likes her. I told difficult child I don't want to get him in trouble - I just want to make sure he (and no one else!) plays this "game" again in school. KSM

 

[Liahona]

Married to a teacher!!!! He knows better than to bully kids.

 

[ksm]

I got an email from the principal last night and he said he will be following up on this matter and thanked me for notifying him.

If I don't hear back in a day or too, I will follow up again - as I want to know what was said and done... Still would like an apology to my daughter from the teacher involved - if it was done privately. difficult child is worried that the kids in the class will find out she complained and got the sub in trouble. I have sent the principal an email and voiced her concerns about confidentiality. KSM

 

[Marguerite]

I'm glad you sent the email. I would have been down at the principal's office in person. With a thermos, knitting and nanna blanket if necessary, making it clear I am equipped to wait there until I see who I want to see.

Back in my own school days, our sewing teacher was the principal's wife. He was a serious bully and his wife was even worse. The girls had sewing class on Tuesday afternoons and his wife would use the time to play favourites with some girls, to put down others. I was one of those being put down. I remember one time when she encouraged the girls to call me names, she gave them some choice words they could use. Told them what the words meant.
I remember her husband (the principal) was punishing a boy who had forgotten his homework. The boy's surname was similar to a word for "fool" and he made the boy look up the word in the dictionary and read it out to the class. I have never forgotten that. A year or two ago, when an old classmate tried to organise a reunion (the idea was met with a resounding thud) I reminded him of the incident. Turned out the boy in question is his best mate, and he remembered me as copping a raw deal from the principal.

I do remember that in the boy's case as well as my case, once the other kids had been given the ammunition as well as 'permission' to bully, they did it with enthusiasm. I'm not sure I ever want to meet up with those kids again. Although they do say that success is the best revenge!

Marg

 

[Bunny]

At least the principal responded to you and has said that he will look into it and I think you voicing your daughter's concerns about privacy was the right thing to do. Hopefully, something good will come of this. I would hate to think that the other kids in her class now think that they have "permission" to make fun of her.