recovering doormat
Lapsed CDer
Maybe some of you experienced moms can relate, but I'm at that point today after dealing with well-intentioned but sometimes contradictory social workers, psychologists, psychiatrists, and because of our long-standing difficult child issues, state and juvenile justice court workers, that I just don't wanna do it no more.
I have to take all three kids (two difficult child's and a easy child who is heading into difficult child territory because of her Adolescent Attitude and precocious sexuality) to meet with our behaviorist today. We had originally intended to meet twice a week but it just doesn't happen, mostly because she is just not availale (lives 45 mins. away and has kids). Tomorrow she has to meet with the state DCF workers in our area to tell them how we are doing as a family and what, if any, help we need.She is paid for by the state DCF to work primarily with difficult child 2, the "identified child" but because no difficult child exists ina vacuum, she is helping the whole family.
Now, I like this gal a lot, in fact, we have probably undermined her role because she has become so close to us (she has three boys of her own, single mom like me, and a very cool lady who has a boat, animals on her property, and really likes my kids) that one she is done with her professional role, I could see us becoming friends. The kids and I have been to her home for cookouts, etc. and she hired difficult child 2 and his friends to do painting and work around the house. The past three or four months, however, have been particularly traumatic for us, with both difficult child 1 and difficult child 2 charged with disorderly conduct and difficult child 2 with-drug use, then easy child hinting that she had had sex with another 12 yr old, then denying it, etc., until my brain wants to explode. Haven't seen much of DCF s/w or this lady, and I'm almost irritated that I have to deal with them.
Oldest child is living with-dad full time and going to school. She has emotional problems and is very immature but I am gradually letting go and letting her feel the consequences of her actions. Son is living with-dad full time and I am slowly developing the ability to tell him I'm done with him when he gets obnoxious (calls me names, refuses to do what I've asked). I have the leverage of not giving him rides or money or permitting him to visit me at my house, and "m getting better at it.
Youngest child is my main focus now, so that she doesn't ignored as so frequently happens when you have difficult child's absorbing all the parental attention.
I just want to be done with meetings and appointments, I just want to be a normal parent with a normal bratty 'tween on a short leash. I want to spend my time having fun and creating good memories for my kids instead of always rushing off to meet the psychologist or social worker.
I'm praying that tomorrow DCF will just decide we're not worth it, and move on, and let us exhale.
Okay, venting is over, time to fold the laundry. Thanks for reading!
I have to take all three kids (two difficult child's and a easy child who is heading into difficult child territory because of her Adolescent Attitude and precocious sexuality) to meet with our behaviorist today. We had originally intended to meet twice a week but it just doesn't happen, mostly because she is just not availale (lives 45 mins. away and has kids). Tomorrow she has to meet with the state DCF workers in our area to tell them how we are doing as a family and what, if any, help we need.She is paid for by the state DCF to work primarily with difficult child 2, the "identified child" but because no difficult child exists ina vacuum, she is helping the whole family.
Now, I like this gal a lot, in fact, we have probably undermined her role because she has become so close to us (she has three boys of her own, single mom like me, and a very cool lady who has a boat, animals on her property, and really likes my kids) that one she is done with her professional role, I could see us becoming friends. The kids and I have been to her home for cookouts, etc. and she hired difficult child 2 and his friends to do painting and work around the house. The past three or four months, however, have been particularly traumatic for us, with both difficult child 1 and difficult child 2 charged with disorderly conduct and difficult child 2 with-drug use, then easy child hinting that she had had sex with another 12 yr old, then denying it, etc., until my brain wants to explode. Haven't seen much of DCF s/w or this lady, and I'm almost irritated that I have to deal with them.
Oldest child is living with-dad full time and going to school. She has emotional problems and is very immature but I am gradually letting go and letting her feel the consequences of her actions. Son is living with-dad full time and I am slowly developing the ability to tell him I'm done with him when he gets obnoxious (calls me names, refuses to do what I've asked). I have the leverage of not giving him rides or money or permitting him to visit me at my house, and "m getting better at it.
Youngest child is my main focus now, so that she doesn't ignored as so frequently happens when you have difficult child's absorbing all the parental attention.
I just want to be done with meetings and appointments, I just want to be a normal parent with a normal bratty 'tween on a short leash. I want to spend my time having fun and creating good memories for my kids instead of always rushing off to meet the psychologist or social worker.
I'm praying that tomorrow DCF will just decide we're not worth it, and move on, and let us exhale.
Okay, venting is over, time to fold the laundry. Thanks for reading!