husband & I have been working on a set of expectations (note, I don't say rules - that word brings out the worst in the tweedles)& consequences for kt to present to the treatment team tomorrow morning. kt was home over the weekend & I saw some maturity in the young lady. Sunday morning she got up, amused herself, made me a pot of coffee then went on to making her own (very creative) breakfast. I was proud but made sure not to make a "big" deal out of her good choices & actions. I just thanked her & told her I appreciated her choices. Left it at that - she smiled & said you're welcome mom. Yet cleaning her room still required an adult at her side working with her. No biggie - if I didn't have an adult checking on me at that age I'd shove everything under the bed. I'm leaning toward using common sense, as it applies to kt, versus anything set in stone. There will be natural consequences (you choose not to wear mittens you have cold hands), logical consequences (no homework, lose free time at school), and then consequences for unsafe choices. As kt vacillates between 4 & 16 years of age emotionally, I see the need to be flexible. My expectations will be for 12 year old choices & behaviors while knowing where she is emotionally. Note that I will be pushing for more age appropriate choices & behaviors. In the meantime, I told kt that when she comes home the better choices she made, the more responsible she becomes, the more privileges she will have. Does any of this make sense? Would you go to a team of professionals with this?