EveryWoman, you said, "I get most discouraged when advice is offered to someone about an issue, it is ignored or they don't try any of the suggestions, and then they post about the same issue. I see the frustration in some members when they feel like they have offered advice and it is not followed."
I understand. I often feel the same way. I see people (in life in general, not just people on this site) doing various things: some people simply need someone to complain to, but have no intention of actually fixing things because if they did so, they would lose the "neediness" that they use to abdicate form personal responsibilty; some people simply feel helpless and overwhelmed, and even when good suggestions are made tye are sometimes too uncertain to take a step forward; others are sometimes too afraid to take the steps forward, or are anxious about the unknown lying ahead.
And ten tere are the ones who DO make positive changes, who might make mistakes at first but who at least have a go.
EveryWoman, if I get the message that someone is either not interested in moving forward, or for whatever reason has already had a wide range of options suggested but is still complaining about the problem as if nothing has been suggested and it still looks hopeless - then I say nothing. I back away, I take my energy elsewhere. I figure, either what I had to say just didn't 'gel' with that person, or perhaps what they want right now is't help, just an audience. My energies are therefore best directed elsewhere and the person can still get what they can from the site from people they may connect to better than me.
Just a suggestion. It's what I do in real life, also. I'll pat someonow on the shoulder if they need it, I will hand out the tissues if they're needed, but if someone asks my advice and then not only ignores it but continues to wail about the same old problems and also to say, "Nobody is prepared to help me," they will find me gone, and their statement comes true.
But I won't say anything to them. No point.
I do find, though, that there are not many people like this. They make me very nervous when I come across them, so I do remember how many I've encountered. Twilight Zone theme starts playing in my head at such times!
This is a good site, we all help one another. There are times when people in general are perhaps feeling tetchier than usual, reminders like this as a general reference have their uses at such times.
Marg