hi, sooo long day. our truck broke down the nite before. so we fixed it. difficult child kept me up till 3 night b4, which was to be expected. than i was up at 5 to leave. got on road and truck went again, coils apparentley in trani went. so we were two hours out already. we had to turn around return home fix truck again. we got to hospital by 3. difficult child had fever on way and a lot of anxiety. also given, yet not the fever. admit was super long. YES i kept it completely together throughout entire difficult child thing. insurance co. didn't approve us, so i had to fight with-them alongside head pyschiatrist and admin. of hospital. by 7:30 last night we won. difficult child cried, clung, begged, told me she hated me etc. all to be expected. they did ekg, blood draw, physical, a bunch of stuff. no iv was needed. head pysch and i met and chose seroquel once again for time being just to calm her down. it worked by 1a.m. she finally fell asleep. she was in her room in corner crying on phone with-me till midnite. i than called nurses station and told them hey go help. told her sitting on phone with-me doing this is not an option for you. my wonderful and yes i love him again husband was my grounding force all day. he wasnt' affectionate, he just held a calm to the entire thing by making jokes, being very non reactive. i was grateful for his presence bigtime. yup i fell apart last night as soon as my feet hit the pavement outside of hospital. than i got my husband hugs. we got some food, i dealt with-calls till 1 a.m. and finally got some sleep. husband stayed with-me and got on road at 5 a.m. to go to work. hardest thing ive ever done. my heart goes out to all of you who have walked this path. ive always tried thru the years to be supportive yet you don't really know what this type of detatchment is like till you do it. it's a surreal experience. by the way i didnt' take any xanax. i haven't for years. i got thru with-o it. i'm going out now to find her a barbie and some junk for her room. love new jersey NOT with no lefts ugh!! so thanks to all of you. i can't hook my easy child up in room ofcourse...... jen and her black cloud so im using public hotel easy child.