It is PERFECTLY reasonable for you to be in counseling to help with coping, heck, some of us are even being medicated to help with our stress levels and feelings of depression. Think of it this way, in order for us to be the best, strongest parents we can be to ANY of our children, difficult child's or easy child's, we must be at 100% almost all the time. And if difficult child issues are bringing you down on a regular basis, NUMBER ONE, it is not good for YOU, and even as a parent, the best thing we can do for our children is take care of ourselves. You deserve to be happy, regardless of your children's state of mind. NUMBER TWO, our difficult child's are famous for taking the things they see about us and using them against us. So if you are feeling this bogged down, you better bet your difficult child will notice and will most likely find a way to take advantage of that to find ways to hurt you.
I apologize if that sounds brutal, but its the truth. And if we all think about it, we will remember at least a few times that difficult child has found a way to "hit below the belt" during a rage. And remembering those times, most of us would realize that in order to hit an issue like that head on, we really MUST BE at 100%, not only for our sanity, but for our self-esteem, and also to be able to take a very personal attack and make it an IMPERSONAL issue. If we take the things our difficult child says personally, they will no doubt hurt us. Our difficult child has called me a b**ch, she has told me that she hates me, and the ever famous "you're not my mother" has even come up a few times. Some parents may cry if they hear their child tell them they hate them, but the truth is, whether difficult child's or easy child's, at some point in the adolescent years (sometimes even younger) your child is very likely to tell you that they hate you. If they don't, that's when I would be worried.
I currently take about 150mg of Zoloft every morning when I wake up, plus my husband and I BOTH attend weekly counseling. We have actually worked out a great arrangement with our difficult child's therapist. She will always see our difficult child alone on Tuesdays, but then after she sees difficult child, she will either see my husband and I alone, or she will see one or the other of us WITH our difficult child, some weeks she sees all three of us together, and other weeks it will be him or I individually. This has helped because it allows us the flexibility to get through counseling the most effective way possible, depending on the issues that have come up during the week. The therapist has even offered to do some child therapy with our littler easy child's to help them cope with the mental and emotional trauma that our difficult child has caused them. Our difficult child has lashed out physically at me, but, Thank the Lord, NEVER physically lashed out at our smaller children. Which I am thankful for, but in the same hand, while bumps and bruises heal over time, emotional scars last much longer and are more difficult to heal, especially for such fragile spirits as a 5 year old and a 3 year old.
Sorry, I kind of got off track there, but bottom line is, there is ABSOLUTELY NO SHAME in going to counseling, or even asking for medication to help you through. Not only are you helping yourself, but you are ultimately helping your entire family, and especially your children.