Physical Grief??

[Hound dog]

Either my body has suddenly decided to go completely to heck, or I'm somehow having my grief carry over into physical symptoms that are taking their toll.

Frankly? I feel like I've been hit by a truck, and since I have been hit by a truck, I know exactly what that feels like.

As the days pass, it just keeps getting worse.

The day husband passed and a few days after, I had some serious cardiac symptoms but didn't have the presence of mind to go to the ER. (yeah, I know that's pretty bad considering) My only defense is that I wasn't exactly all present and accounted for mentally. I'm still not quite all there mentally, although it's not as bad as that first week.

The GI symptoms also hit about the same time. That didn't surprise me as it's my usual response to stress, even if I don't happen to think I'm that stressed. Pain, cramps, gas, diarrhea (sorry probably too much information) ........ I put something in, it takes oh tops about an hour and it's out again. Not that I can manage to eat very much at one sitting most of the time due to the darn cramps it causes. I've tried several faithful methods to get relief, they're not working. Not even medications are working.

This is not a recommended way to lose weight.

And I *thought* I caught a respiratory bug from easy child's boys. Evidently not. For one thing I never got the fever. If it's allergies, then it's allergies from hades and my medications don't seem to be doing much. I sound like I'm dying when I cough......for more than a week I felt like I was drowning when I coughed......yesterday and today it's been somewhat better. But I did figure out that evidently my kidneys just couldn't be left out of the fun........and when I retain fluid, my lungs fill up. Which made the whole respiratory thing even worse. Breathing is a concentrated effort when that's going on. Lasix has helped with the lung thing.......now it just sounds like I have a nasty cold. So it *might* be clearing up. (oh god I hope so)

Oh, and I mustn't forget the migraine that will not go away most days.

I'm exhausted. Sometimes I can wake up, have a cup of coffee, feel like someone just let all the air out of me energy wise and wind up back in bed because the fatigue is so bad it makes me nauseous and dizzy and I have no choice but to lay back down, even if I don't go back to sleep, which I don't.

Now I was just fine before all this started. Ok, I'm not going to say I was healthy because I haven't qualified as "healthy" in years, but I was doing fine. Then whamo! So I figure I've got 2 choices, either my grief is somehow expressing itself physically...........or my body decided this was the perfect time to go to pot fast. Oh, maybe there is a 3rd choice.......maybe I've just lost my mind and someone forgot to tell me??

All I know is I'll be grateful if it would just stop.

 

[TeDo]

Your body picks up on stress faster than our brains do. It may very well be stress-induced. It might also be some fatigue that is making things worse because your defenses are worn down so you are more likely to catch every little bug you come into contact with. Add ANY emotional baggage and you've got a recipe for disaster.

My Rx, sleep like there is no tomorrow, limit the caffeine (sorry but it's bad for digestive "issues"), don't try to accomplish anything, and lots of steamy soaks in a bubble bath.

Take care hon and if things don'e start seeming a "little" better in the next few days, GO SEE A doctor (I don't care what kind)!!! {{{(((HUGS)))}}}}

 

[Liahona]

Sorry you are hurting. Bodies do strange things under stress so I assume they would do strange things for grief as well. For stress my blood pressure drops and I start passing out at small things (like standing up, going on elevators, ect..) Yours sounds much worse. Do you have a dr you can talk to?

 

[InsaneCdn]

After all the events that led to this point? Between stress and exhaustion and the emotional roller-coaster, yes your body is feeling it. And you're finally unwinding enough that your body has caught on that its OK to catch up... and then WHAMO!

Caffeine... doesn't help anything.
Need a hot drink, try peppermint tea or chamomile tea (both good for digestion, and for headaches).
Or Ginger tea if you have that around (again, good for both)
Warm milk with a bit of honey, if you enjoy that. (some people can't have it when tummy is not on even keel... go with what you know)

Nibble on stuff - plain crackers, for example. Have some beside the bed so you can nibble before you get up, sometimes helps. Keep nibbling. Eat really bland, really simple... plain rice is usually the easiest food to eat. Skip meat and anything fatty - body doesn't need that right now. Nor a lot of spices. When you're getting some starch (crackers, rice, etc.), then add simple veggies, later add fruit. But start with bland stuff... carrots not brussels sprouts, bananas and applesauce rather than pineapple or grapefruit...

And yes, mostly? you need sleep. Somehow, your body knows you have a LOT of catching up to do.

Ditto on TeDo's post... by next week, this should be turning around - if not, seek help somewhere.

{{hugs}}

 

[HaoZi]

Grief and depression, like anxiety, can express in physical symptoms. *hugs*

 

[keista]

Ditto Haozi. Sleep is always good, but get up and do *something* each day. Even if it is just to enjoy a cup of tea (coffee no good )

 

[Steely]

Hugs....so sorry. I am very, very sure this is a physical response to grief. Been there. Just take care of you for now, and don't worry about anything else.

 

[susiestar]

Many many hugs. I am not at all surprised, but I am very sorry.

You NEED to see a doctor. Go to the ER if your doctor won't see you with-o payment. THere will be a wait, but given the cough and the feeling like you are drowning, on top of prior cardiac problems and the kidney issues and water retention, you very well could be experiencing congestive heart problems/failure. You are home with just Travis now and if you let this go, you might not be able to call for help in time. Your children and grandchildren do NOT need this. You MUST take care of yourself for them. If you can't go do it for you, go do it for them.

Hang the expense. No one is going to take your house if you go to the ER and can't pay. they MUST treat you, and if they bill you and bill you, so what? PLEASE go see a doctor. PLEASE.

Just because you don't think you have cardiac symptoms now does NOT mean that you didn't have a heart attack and/or that you don't have something going on that they could help. Grief is hard enough, but you don't need it on top of the physical stuff.

I KNOW you like to wait and see with your health, but you are not superwoman. If you think going is a waste of time, sit down, right now, and think about how your children would react if they came and found you dead. I know I am being harsh. What would you want to say to them that you haven't said? What family memories have you not written down or recorded? How would it impact Aubrey, Darrin and Brandon and little Oliver? He wouldn't even get to know his grandma Lisa, would he? All he would have are the pictures and the little baby things you made for him. I know that isn't what you want.

I know your pride, how you hate to take $$ or owe $$. If you spoke to your daughters, would they rather have you owe money to the doctor/hospital, cut their own budgets to pay for your medication care, or bury you?

What you are describing is SERIOUS. The risk of congestive heart failure, esp with the water retention from the kidney issues, is big.

GO TO THE doctor OR ER. SPEND THE DAY WAITING. You are an adult. You can be patient and wait to be seen if needed. Have one of the girls take you and either stay or come back and get you when you are done. Pack a book, a snack, any medications you are on, a small pillow and if needed a blanket/jacket (some are cold, some are hot). Then GO.

I am willing to bet if you tell either of your daughter's about this, they will say what I am saying. What would you tell a patient with those symptoms?

We love you Lisa. I love you. I hate that you are hurting so, emotionally and physically. I don't want to lose you.

 

[AnnieO]

I'm with Susie, Lisa.

Stress CAN do this sort of thing, express itself physically. The weather we've had in Ohio this year just exacerbates allergies and headaches (I should know), but if there was a HINT of a problem before - and you're right, you were not healthy before - grief can really whack you upside the head (and chest, and and and.)

Go see a doctor. PLEASE! PLEASE!

 

[DaisyFace]

One more vote to get yourself checked out ASAP.

Yes - stress and grief and be a factor...

but those symptoms should not be ignored.

(((hugs)))

 

[DDD]

I know sometimes it is easier to avoid the Dr's especially when we "think" we know what is causing the symptoms but...there also is a flu that my sister and brother in law picked up last week that mimics many of your symptoms. It's possible you picked up a bug and a shot or suppositories will end the frequent potty runs and settled your stomach. They both had various aches and headaches like migraines. Maybe it is stress, maybe it is a bug or maybe something else is out of whack but do seek medical attention. DDD

 

[rejectedmom]

I am so sorry for your pain. I agree that stress can cause physical symptoms. When my nephew died my heart just broke and I flet like it was being ripped out of my chest. I too didn't have the presence of mind to see a doctor but I do think a visit to you doctor to rule out an infection is prudent. Sending you strength and healing thoughts. -RM