Either my body has suddenly decided to go completely to heck, or I'm somehow having my grief carry over into physical symptoms that are taking their toll. Frankly? I feel like I've been hit by a truck, and since I have been hit by a truck, I know exactly what that feels like. As the days pass, it just keeps getting worse. The day husband passed and a few days after, I had some serious cardiac symptoms but didn't have the presence of mind to go to the ER. (yeah, I know that's pretty bad considering) My only defense is that I wasn't exactly all present and accounted for mentally. I'm still not quite all there mentally, although it's not as bad as that first week. The GI symptoms also hit about the same time. That didn't surprise me as it's my usual response to stress, even if I don't happen to think I'm that stressed. Pain, cramps, gas, diarrhea (sorry probably too much information) ........ I put something in, it takes oh tops about an hour and it's out again. Not that I can manage to eat very much at one sitting most of the time due to the darn cramps it causes. I've tried several faithful methods to get relief, they're not working. Not even medications are working. This is not a recommended way to lose weight. And I *thought* I caught a respiratory bug from easy child's boys. Evidently not. For one thing I never got the fever. If it's allergies, then it's allergies from hades and my medications don't seem to be doing much. I sound like I'm dying when I cough......for more than a week I felt like I was drowning when I coughed......yesterday and today it's been somewhat better. But I did figure out that evidently my kidneys just couldn't be left out of the fun........and when I retain fluid, my lungs fill up. Which made the whole respiratory thing even worse. Breathing is a concentrated effort when that's going on. Lasix has helped with the lung thing.......now it just sounds like I have a nasty cold. So it *might* be clearing up. (oh god I hope so) Oh, and I mustn't forget the migraine that will not go away most days. I'm exhausted. Sometimes I can wake up, have a cup of coffee, feel like someone just let all the air out of me energy wise and wind up back in bed because the fatigue is so bad it makes me nauseous and dizzy and I have no choice but to lay back down, even if I don't go back to sleep, which I don't. Now I was just fine before all this started. Ok, I'm not going to say I was healthy because I haven't qualified as "healthy" in years, but I was doing fine. Then whamo! So I figure I've got 2 choices, either my grief is somehow expressing itself physically...........or my body decided this was the perfect time to go to pot fast. Oh, maybe there is a 3rd choice.......maybe I've just lost my mind and someone forgot to tell me?? All I know is I'll be grateful if it would just stop.