I'm not sure how to feel about the telephone conversation I just had. First a little background: a very good friend of mine, J, is in the hospital, and it's pretty serious. She's on the mend, but once she gets released her recuperation is going to take months upon months. J is a wonderful friend and I love her like a sister, and I'll gladly do what I can to help. J is married to B and they have a daughter, C who is the same age as my difficult child. Both children grew up together. I'm here on this forum which means that my difficult child has Issues, right? Managing those issues is often trial and error and a long road with one step forward and two steps back. Many days I end up wanting to bang my head against a wall. Many days I do bang my head against the wall. Today, J's sister calls me to tell me that when J comes home, she and B and are going to need a lot of help because J will be pretty much on bed/chair/couch rest. She tells me that my husband and I have to be proactive and step up to the plate and help out because we're such good friends. And she points out how two others in our group of friends have already been helping out but that J and B shouldn't have to rely on just two people. Don't get me wrong, I love J and B. They are like family to me, but am I wrong to be a little put off by J's sister's request? I haven't been around, not because I didn't want to be, but a) because until today I didn't know how bad of shape J has actually been in and b) difficult child has been on the down hill of that roller coaster ride that is having a child with a conduct disorder. I don't have the options that our other two friends have of simply popping over to make dinner or pick up groceries or do cleaning; I have doctor's appointments and counseling appointments and extra curriculars (for socialization) that difficult child needs to attend. I have a schedule that has to be held up for the sake of difficult child and veering too far off schedule or overstimulating her leads to very bad things. I was pretty much speechless and didn't give much in the way of a response, but how should I handle this? I'm not a selfish brat, and I do want to help out my friends, but not at the expense of my difficult child, my family or my sanity. Thoughts?