Please Help!!!!!!!!!!!!

[ravenlotus]

My 4 almost 5 year old is out of control. She has really bad screaming fits at lease 1-2 a day if not more. She will freak out when our dog looks at her. Its the worst when she is eating and the dog begs for food. We have feed the dog at the same time but she finnishes her food before my daughter and stands by her. She will also freak out if the dog is looking at us. She screams to the dog to not look at mommy's food. She flips out if take her to the playground and say it's time to leave. If she doesn't get her way she goes into a screaming fit. She won't let me comb her hair. She doesn't like loud noises like sirens or fans. Her behavior is out control. We have been using Love and Logic. She gets a marble for good behavior. If she has so many marbles at the end of the week she gets to go to her favorite place our local amusement park which we have season passes for. She also goes into screaming fits when we say she has to come home from her friends. Or when her friend has leave from playing at our house. It has gotten to the point where her friend doesn't come around as much. She also will get small rewards during the week if can go through without a fit she gets a small piece of candy, or a coloring book or small stuffed toy. I have researched a lot online. She has a lot of the signs of Sensory Processing Disorder.
However, until last year we lived with my dad and his girlfriend. The girlfriend has PTSD. She can not have a lot of screaming or any chaos. This woman had to have total peace. So I would give in to what ever she wanted to keep peace. I know this played a part. But now that have moved out she has had a hard time not getting what she wants. Like I said it has been a year. I would think she would have improved by now. Please help me. How do bring this up with my doctor?

 

[BusynMember]

Hi there and welcome to the board.

You need to get your child evaluated. I don't know for sure what is wrong with her, but she is different and needs a specialist to test her in every area. I prefer neuropsychs so I'd ask my Pediatrician for a referral since Peds are notoriously not good at figuring out child's various disorders. Can you tell us about her early development and her genetic background, including her father, even if she never sees him. After her, she is combination of both of your DNAs. Did she have a lot of chaos and many caregivers in her infant/toddler years?Ever been in foster care? Ever live with people other than you?

Maybe you should rehome your poor dog before she maybe hits him. Poor thing doesn't know he is upsetting her.

 

[InsaneCdn]

If you think she shows signs of sensory processing disorder (SPD)... then that alone is cause for a comprehensive evaluation, because those signs can be part of other dxes. sensory processing disorder (SPD) most often doesn't stand alone.

What was life really like for her first three or four years?

 

[ravenlotus]

I don't know anything about her birth father she was product of a one night stand. She was colicky when she was young. Other than that she was a excellent baby. For the first 3 1/2 years we lived with my dad. The last 2 years we were living with him my dad's girlfriend was there alot. The girlfriend has Post Tramatic Stress disorder and high levels of anxiety. She could not be around anything loud. So in order to keep my daughter quiet I would give what ever she wanted. This woman also had dog who would jump up and steal food from the table this would scare my daughter. So when ever she got scared and screamed out I would have to take her and go for a drive until she calmed down because of this woman. I got married last year. I have been now trying the Love and Logic way of disapline. But it hasn't worked. She hates to have her hair combed. So I put in fake dreadlocks. She always has her fingers in mouth. She doesn't bite her nails just or even really sucks them. They are just in her mouth. 7/10 times we go to a playground she will have a big tantrum when we leave. My husband is very kind with her. He loves her. She loves him. But since I am still the main care giver she always wants mommy. When ever she falls and gets hurt. She goes on about it longer than I see other kids. She will milk the wounded extremity. She hates having her fingernail and toenails cut. She doesn't like her hair cut. She is constantly bouncing or scooting around in her seat. She can't sit still for a 3 min story at Discovery time at the library. However when she was in daycare/preschool they said she would do fine at rug time. She hates tags on her clothes. When I was 14 I was diagnosed with ADD. That is our background.


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[InsaneCdn]

I'm seeing sensory issues. The clothing tags, the hyper-sensitivities...
Has she had an Occupational Therapist (OT) evaluation for sensory and motor skills issues?
Occupational Therapist (OT) has therapies and interventions that really do work.

And then... Given that ADD is a known factor in your background, and unknown factors in biodad... it might be worth pursuing a comprehensive evaluation.

 

[ravenlotus]

We have an appointment with our Family Practice doctor this week. We are just worried that she is going to suggest medications. Both my husband and I have had negative affects with ADD medications. We both kept trying different ones and we either became way to hyper or so down that we were suicidal. Or just had no emotion at all. We have heard these things from other people who have used the medications and they say the same thing. Now I hoping she will only suggest Occupational Therapy. I would like some other opinions on the medications please.

 

[InsaneCdn]

I'd be hesitant to be using ADD medications just on the advice of the Family Practice doctor.
The medications... either work really well, or don't work at all, or have horrendous side effects. Sounds like you've mostly seen not working/bad effects. So I don't blame you for being wary.

Usually, a psychiatrist is involved. And to get that far you usually need a comprehensive evaluation.

As far as the Occupational Therapist (OT) goes... don't "hope she suggests it"... ASK for it. Occupational Therapist (OT) is one thing that I haven't heard any negative side effects for... it doesn't solve every problem, but it works or it doesn't. Most of us can live with that level of experimentation. Probably need to start with Occupational Therapist (OT) evaluation, so that the Occupational Therapist (OT) knows what to apply for therapies.

p.s. For the record... we're a medications-success family, especially with ADD medications. I'm not anti-medications. But they do not always work so well for everybody.