Please reassure me

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by crazymama30, Oct 10, 2009.

  1. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    Please tell me I am doing the right thing. husband is not doing so well this morning. In my heart I know I am doing the right thing, but this is so hard.
  2. ctmom05

    ctmom05 Member

    I detect a frightened sense of despair in your post. I must have missed something; what's wrong?
  3. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    husband is in psychiatric hospital. There are posts below in wc with details. I am frightened. I don't know what to expect and I want him to get better. I will maintain, but this is awful.
  4. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    There is nothing about mental illness that is easy. You did the right thing to get him the help he needed. Your husband was not safe at home. He is where he needs to be to get his medications adjusted so he can come home and be with you and your children. A lot of times it gets worse before it gets better. Have faith in the therapeutic process and in the doctors who are working with him.

    Hugs to you, CM. This is not an easy time for you. We are here for you anytime you need us.
  5. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Many comforting hugs to you. You absolutely did the right thing to get husband the help he needed.
  6. Abbey

    Abbey Spork Queen

    Ditto what everyone else said. Probably most important for me in times like this is to have a safe place to voice yourself. You know you have that here. Don't be afraid to use it. You have a couple thousand imaginary friends who have open ears, warm hearts and stick in some stupid humor from time to time.:tongue:

    Gentle hugs...Abbey
  7. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    {{{CM}}} You are doing the right thing, not just for you and husband but for the kids as well. My mother had been hospitalized several times throughout my childhood. Sometimes she was violent, other times confused, sometimes manic beyond belief. Each time, though I didn't say anything at the time, I was horribly afraid of what was happening to my mother. I felt relief and safe when she was admitted. I also felt that she was safe from herself.

    I know it's impossible not to doubt yourself right now, but you are doing the right things. Many {{{hugs}}} for your aching heart.
  8. Mattsmom277

    Mattsmom277 Active Member

    Gentle hugs heading your way.
    I've had to involuntarily hospitalize my mother several times. You know, each and every time, when she was stable and released, she thanked me. Genuinely thanked me (genuine being RARE as a chupacabra for my mother!) She will tell anyone who asks that she is grateful I could recognize what she couldn't at that time, that she was unable to recognize the depth her illness had reached and that she needed major intervention by professionals.
    Be gentle and good to yourself. Your husband is loved. You are doing the right then. He will get the support and help he needs where he is.
  9. 1905

    1905 Well-Known Member

    You did the right thing.
  10. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    Thank you. I just went to see him to be sure I felt ok with the kids visiting, and he seemed better after seeing his regular psychiatrist. He knows he can check himself out at any time, but says that if he does that he cannot get his medications fixed and that he needs to do that. I am so glad he realizes that, and thanked him for that. It is so hard because this is voluntary---he can leave as long as he has a ride. If he leaves too soon that ride won't be me, but he has other who would pick him up and he knows that. I am so grateful for the fact that so far he has chosen to stay.

    He is not participating in any group therapies, I wish he would but am not surprised that he is not. I guess that is all voluntary.

    Thank you all. I so need the support from here at this time.
  11. flutterby

    flutterby Fly away!

    You are doing the right thing.

    I was in the psychiatric hospital twice, and it does get harder before it gets better.

    FWIW, the group therapy in my psychiatric hospital didn't do anything for me. It's so generic because you have so many people in there with so many different diagnosis'es. It's hard to get much out of a group session when you're in there for severe depression, others are manic, others are borderline, and others are paranoid schizophrenics. It felt to me that it was more to give us something to do and get us out of our rooms and around others than to actually gain any benefit.

    I did better when in the evenings I could just hang out in the social room with everyone and watch tv, chit chat, have a snack.

    I have to chuckle over one group. They brought this guy in from Emotions Anonymous or Feelings Anonymous - something like that. And he's talking all about his program. Clearly, they are used to people with more of depressive symptoms. And he asked one guy why he seemed so down and the guy told him it was because he was scared because the voices kept telling him that something bad was going to happen to Heather. He was a paranoid schizophrenic. The poor guy from Emotions Anonymous didn't know what to do or say. I felt sorry for him. But, I also had to stop myself from laughing out loud. I mean, seriously, how can you have good group therapy with so many different issues going on?

    I was in voluntarily, too. The scariest thing for me was going home. I didn't feel ready. In the psychiatric hospital you're almost cocooned. And the thought of facing reality again when I was still so fragile scared the absolute hell out of me. That may not be the case for everyone, but I wanted to put my experience out there so you're not caught off guard should that be how husband feels.

  12. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    Thank you Heather. The perspective on group makes sense, and that does help.

    Coming home will be hard, but all of this has been.
  13. Abbey

    Abbey Spork Queen

    Sorry to chuckle, Heather...but Emotions/Feelings Anonymous? Is that a group to make you shut down completely? I mean really...AA tries to get you to not drink. Emotion or feelings? Should I have none? Maybe I've missed the boat all these years. Maybe there is a group I could attend around here.:tongue:

    You gave some good advice and insight about going home. It's got to be pretty scary to all the persons involved.'re in good hands and husband appears to be as well. Keep coming for comfort and support. Sometimes you need to step away from the realities of life to regain control of yourself. Maybe this is his time.

  14. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    Catching up late, here. Yes, you are doing the right thing, and luckily, so is your husband. I know it's hard for everyone. I have been on both ends of the stick. Many gentle hugs.
  15. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Definitely doing the right thing, so sorry things are so difficult right now. Hugs.
  16. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Yes, you are doing the right thing. He is in good hands. He can't be 100% happy all the time. What better place to get help through the hard times than a psychiatric hospital? They're supposed to help you with-medications and coping skills. I like the advice and words of others here, that it's often worse before it gets better. So true.
    Many hugs.
    PS. When I'm feeling low, I sometimes go out and buy myself flowers. Get yourself some, put them smack in the center of the kitchen table, inhale and relax. Take care of yourself.
  17. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    I'm sure it's not any easier with a spouse than it would be with a child. Actually, I can see how it could be much worse with a spouse in many ways.

    You are most certainly doing the right thing, and the right thing is often the hardest to do.

    Glad husband sees he needs his medications adjusted and is cooperating. That makes a ton of difference. I worked a psychiatric unit years ago and can tell you those group sessions are about as generic as they can make them. No've got people being admitted for a wide variety of reasons. So even if he cooperated and participated it wouldn't likely do him much good.

    husband is safe. And he is getting the help he needs.

  18. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member Staff Member

    Keep your chin up. There will be a silver lining to this cloud. He will get better. He will get his medications straightened out. He realizes it, thankfully and knows this is for the best. Sending warm thoughts.
  19. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    For sure, for sure you did the right thing. However hard it is and will be - take faith in the fact that you did the right thing.
    Many hugs and much love being sent your way.