Problem with 16 yr daughter

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by cadydid, Mar 7, 2009.

  1. cadydid

    cadydid New Member

    I came home from work yesterday in a surprisingly good mood. I think it was a combination of being Friday and our plans for the weekend. We were working on the grocery list when 16 yr old asked if she could talk to me. So we went out on the porch and she dropped the bombshell that she thought she might be pregnant.

    I took a deep breath and started asking a few questions. She mentioned that she had told her counselor at the Mental Health Center. Now normally this wouldn't be an issue, but she is on Prozac. My mind went straight to the baby. What kind of effects would it have on the baby??!!

    I asked her when she told him and she said at her last appointment. Now, I would have thought that given the fact that she was on medications, that he would have thought it necessary to mention it to me. But she said that he said he didn't have to tell me because of confidentiality rules.

    I truly felt like screaming at that point. While I'm happy that she trusts him, this is something that I feel that he should have told me. If she was 18, that would be one thing, but she is still a minor child. A minor on medication that can affect a pregnancy and not in a good way.

    My first reaction was to call the Mental Health Center on Monday and file a complaint. But, once I calmed, I realized I don't know what the rules are about what he is obliged to tell me, if anything.

    I was hoping that someone that has more experience in this area than I do. I'm not used to the this not telling.

    On the good side, we got her a pregnancy test and it came out negative. But I'm not done holding my breath yet. I'm taking her to the doctors on Monday to get a blood test to make sure. I don't want her taking her medicine until we know

    Any help you can give me will be greatly appreciated.
  2. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    Yikes! I am not sure what the law says regarding minors but you have bigger fish to fry. You can deal with counselors later.
    Talking to daughter about unprotected sex and pregnancy before she is ready seems like a bigger hurdle to deal with.
    I tend to be rather blunt about asking "which birth control method will you choose before you ever leave the house again".
    I hope she is scared enough to actually prevent an unplanned pregnancy from ever happening.
    Hugs. You must have been really stressed about all of this. Teens are like a different tribe than regular folks.
  3. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member Staff Member

    This is where I go nuts about these HIPPA laws. I could go on for hours about this.

    I am glad she's not pregnant. Now it's time to have a serious talk to her about making well-thought choices.
  4. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Well, I'd forget the complain and go off on the therapist. But that's just me. I'm sure he'd like to know if it were HIS daughter. grrrr I'm not recommending you do this, it's just an honest answer what I'd do, cuz I've done it.......and even now she's an adult, they don't mess with me, even if they have to use pidgeon talk to get the message across.

    Focus now on that potential baby. Get her to fam doctor asap for a blood test. Explain why and you ought not to have a problem with a blood test for preg. Then sit down and have that long wonderful talk with daughter.......been there done that twice. Cuz if she's not preggers, she needs birth control yesterday. The BC shot is a good idea when they're on medications.........they can't forget to take it.

    ((((hugs))))) I've soooooooooooooo been there done that.
  5. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I know here at least in issues about pregnancy the girl is encouraged to tell her parents but the doctor or clinic is not supposed to unless the girl agrees.

    FWIW, my sister in law took prozac all through her preg with my niece. Niece is a beautiful, happy, healthy 5yo now!

    It is better she is on prozac than many of the other SSRIs. When I was preg with Jess and thank you the docs said it was OK to be on prozac but I was determined not to take medications. I hope that can ease your mind some.

    The questions about what method she will choose and USE in the future needs to happen and be very blunt though. You may have to take her to a gym or women's clinic to see which method is best for her.

    No method is foolproof though. I have pill babies. Mine were conceived on the pill using at least one other method of bc. The pill acted like a fertility medication for me as I was previously told I couldn't get preg or carry a baby.

    Be blunt, offer to pay for the birth control if that is something you are comfortable doing, and be sure to let her know she can continue to talk to you about this issue.
  6. cadydid

    cadydid New Member

    Thank you both..

    Oh we talked alright... this is not the first scare like this with her. I laid into her about safe sex and all of that to the point I had to stop because she was falling asleep.

    I just do not understand how something of this magnitude could be kept from me by a professional. It boggles my mind.

    I told her that if the test comes back negative on Monday, then she is getting some form of long term bireth control because I am not going through this again.