Since my last post, my stepson has returned from interstate. He is staying at a local pay by the week hotel. He told my husband that he was eating out of garbage cans and sleeping under the bleachers at a small park. Oh, and smoking meth and fending off people trying to rob him. All the while a bus ticket to return home was sitting at the depot waiting to be claimed. Sad and very confusing for me. My husband does a little better with these ugly details than I do, at least outwardly.
First thing he did upon arriving back was to blast his mother and sister over the phone for being unavailable to pick him up. He eventually made contact with my husband who collected him. The conversation in the car I am told basically consisted of him telling my husband how hard it is to be on the street, and that we should be nicer to him and support him so that he doesn't die out there. My husband, for the umpteenth time, tried to explain to him that no one is putting him on the street but him. That the world works because the majority of us follow the rules of society. For those who cannot or who refuse to follow these rules, the street may be where they end up. As usual, in one ear and out the other.
With help from his grandmother, he will be able to stay in his present accommodation for the next two weeks. My husband has been taking him to apply for jobs, to get his ID replaced etc. So outwardly he is playing the game. My stepson has forgotten that several months ago he gave my husband his passwords to his email and social media to get some information he needed. When he uses these, my husband's phone pings and he is able to see what he is doing. (I don't know how people will feel about this - yes he deserves his privacy, but this information has helped us to make some informed decisions in trying to help him along the way.) It is all drug connection stuff, and nothing personal.
Case in point, we saw a message during the week from a known local drug dealer confirming my stepson's request and arranging to meet to make an exchange. My husband has not shared this with him. We are still hoping he will land a part time job regardless and move toward helping himself. We have always emphasized to my stepson that we are here to help him if he shows that he is taking steps to help himself. In the past these efforts have been few and far between, and short lived. It always comes back to our god given obligation to house, clothe, feed, and provide him with pocket money because we are his parents. In my heart I don't think I am expecting anything different this time. The purpose of this exercise really is that if / when he fails, my husband can feel that he has once again done everything he can to give his son the best possible chance to get his life back on the road.
First thing he did upon arriving back was to blast his mother and sister over the phone for being unavailable to pick him up. He eventually made contact with my husband who collected him. The conversation in the car I am told basically consisted of him telling my husband how hard it is to be on the street, and that we should be nicer to him and support him so that he doesn't die out there. My husband, for the umpteenth time, tried to explain to him that no one is putting him on the street but him. That the world works because the majority of us follow the rules of society. For those who cannot or who refuse to follow these rules, the street may be where they end up. As usual, in one ear and out the other.
With help from his grandmother, he will be able to stay in his present accommodation for the next two weeks. My husband has been taking him to apply for jobs, to get his ID replaced etc. So outwardly he is playing the game. My stepson has forgotten that several months ago he gave my husband his passwords to his email and social media to get some information he needed. When he uses these, my husband's phone pings and he is able to see what he is doing. (I don't know how people will feel about this - yes he deserves his privacy, but this information has helped us to make some informed decisions in trying to help him along the way.) It is all drug connection stuff, and nothing personal.
Case in point, we saw a message during the week from a known local drug dealer confirming my stepson's request and arranging to meet to make an exchange. My husband has not shared this with him. We are still hoping he will land a part time job regardless and move toward helping himself. We have always emphasized to my stepson that we are here to help him if he shows that he is taking steps to help himself. In the past these efforts have been few and far between, and short lived. It always comes back to our god given obligation to house, clothe, feed, and provide him with pocket money because we are his parents. In my heart I don't think I am expecting anything different this time. The purpose of this exercise really is that if / when he fails, my husband can feel that he has once again done everything he can to give his son the best possible chance to get his life back on the road.