2+ years ago when my hubs was in denial about his daughter's addiction, he was her biggest enabler. We would argue often because I could see what was happening and he refused to see it. Even after he realized she was an addict, he was still Mr. Softy and thought he could fix things and would always try to soften the blow with her. Me, I've always been a tough love kinda gal so we were not seeing eye to eye at all. He couldn't understand my detachment. He couldn't understand why I didn't like her. I told him you can love someone and not like them. He has slowly come around and after many different detoxes, rehabs, etc., she just left another one. She's been there since January and was getting close to graduating the program but it wasn't happening on her timeline so she bolted. AGAIN. She is more terrified of succeeding than of failure. She self-destructs every time she gets close to success. At 34 years old, she still doesn't want to grow up and take responsibility for herself, let alone her 5-year-old son whom we have had guardianship of for the last 2 years. The part where I am so proud of my hubby is that he has come such a long way in his recovery of being an enabler. She called last night to tell him she left. He didn't really react. He basically told her she's on her own. She called again today, he gave her the name of an attorney to contact for some legal trouble she was in prior to this last rehab and told her again, he's out. And not only did he tell her that, he actually meant it! He can make himself physically sick worrying over the most menial of things. And this time? He said he's not even going to worry about it. She can figure it out and if her mom wants to help her, so be it, but he's done. I am not optimistic for her, but I am absolutely optimistic for him!!